Deleted for calling someone out on gender stereotyping

[Feenie]

Absolutely appalled. I called a poster out for posting the worst kind of gender stereotyping bollocks (possibly exact words) and was deleted.

Wtaf?

I didn't contravene any guidelines, unless we 're adding swearing now. I merely said that the post was 'a load of gender stereotyping bollocks'. Which it was. That was it. Which guidelines does that contravene? I'm very happy to be deleted if required, but come on!

I doubt such a clarification would protect you from deletion or ban, @CoteDAzur. The talk guidelines need an update. They are so hazy that everything can be shown to break them or comply.

The crux of MNHQ's argument seems to be that, as the poster was being helpful, the stereotyping was fine and so being rude about the sentiment was 'a bit much'. Still struggling with that - particularly the opening phrase of 'He's a boy and sadly for you....', which was (as FlyingBird pointed out) just staggeringly rude and just fucking wrong. Makes me cross all over again.

Thanks for posting the link. I’ve just reported the “sadly you have a boy” post on the grounds that it is gender stereotyping bollocks and shouldn’t be allowed on mumsnet. Will see if I get a response.

Palepinkswan, did MN get back to you on that?

Nope, no response at all to that report. I have two boys and agree that saying “Sadly, you have a boy” is really rude.

Back in the day, JustineMumsnet said that while it's not ok to call someone an arse, its fine to say "Your post makes you sound like an arse because..." and then use robust debate.

Does that still stand? Attacking the post, not the poster?

It looks like I'll start reporting right and left because I don't like the tone of the post.

It will all be x and o here
Xoxoxoxox

I was thinking that Lweji. There were so many truly vile posts on the latest royal wedding thread yesterday - report report report = thread zapped, move on to the next one.

Exchanging emails with the aggrieved party is often a good practice. Often an explanation without a hoo-har on the boards is the best way to manage stuff without further drama.

"while it's not ok to call someone an arse, its fine to say 'Your post makes you sound like an arse because...'"

You see, in my mind there is absolutely no difference between You are an arse because you just said that and Your post makes you sound like an arse. She is called an arse either way.

@Feenie, I reported and expressed my thought to MNHQ. They have responded to me while ago. It was actually very sincere, and they said they are discussing about the matter.
Sadly they came to the conclusion that non of us expected, but at least it took days to come to the decision, which seems like decision wasn't made easily.

Oh lols @Lweji totes agree hunni....xoxox

Am l getting new lingo right? Cannot bring self to use hun as has total different connotations here in Scotland!

I wonder whether the heating up of the trans debate has meant that there is less time to consider each individual decision? More decisions being made on the fly, without going back to get the context.

The number of decisions made on an hourly basis at MNHQ, there are bound to be some borderline or disagreeable ones.

I have had a single post deleted in 15 years of using MN and I am still raging about it. I was categorically right and MNHQ were wrong. It's been years now and I am not over it. It was a v similar situation where I rightly corrected a poster on a thread and they whined about it to OriginalHelen. I will not forget it. Neither should you Feenie. I suggest you spend the next ten years being mildly pissed off whenever you remember this

What a bizarre decision....

How on earth anyone can decide that saying "that's gender stereotyping bollocks"

in response to someone saying

"Unfortunately you have a bit"

"Unfortunately you have a boy "

Well I have now gone and looked at the post which is gender stereotyping. And in my opinion the advise given could apply to many children, some of whom will be boys.

Thinking that all boys learn in the same way, are bored by the same things, and all act the same is, big fat hairy bollox

Having suffered through a girls school run be nuns where certain subjects were not even taught because they were 'boys' subjects' in the 1980s I had hoped things wold have moved on.

You see, in my mind there is absolutely no difference between You are an arse because you just said that and Your post makes you sound like an arse. She is called an arse either way.

There's a subtle difference.
The second says the pp is probably not an arse but they should be careful because they're acting like one.
Address the behaviour.

Thanks irvine.

Showofhands, that doesn't sound like me at all, oh no. Well, alright. maybe just the next twelve years or so.....

Maybe this would suffice:

"What you just posted could be construed by an objective observer as gender stereotyping bollox"

One of my threads got deleted a while back because "this thread isn't going a very nice way" or some bollocky excuse like that. Not a peep from MNHQ as to a proper reason why it was deleted. It was not a goady thread by any stretch of the imagination, and it was a serious question! I'm still miffed about that one.

And I notice that nobody from MNHQ has answered my question from yesterday...

What happened to "ahem"?

It's all deletions now.

I haven't seen Olivia or her eyebrows for some time now.

"There's a subtle difference. The second says the pp is probably not an arse but they should be careful because they're acting like one."

Rubbish. Everyone knows that the second ("Your post makes you look like an arse") actually means to say "You are an arse" but doesn't so it won't be deleted.

It's a farce.

Nawwww - I miss Olivia’s ‘ahems’. They were usually very timely, and I proper never said ‘What??!!!’ when she did them. 😄😪

Rubbish.

I should report this. How dare you become so confrontational in reply to my helpful post?
MNHQ, I'm awaiting deletion.