Really had enough - its no longer hitting the spot

[CAM]

Got to go, can't come on here to be abused.

All the "old girls" hardly post anymore, bk, tm, m, mi, d, sm, etc etc, its mostly a bunch of tedious up their own bullies.

I have a bit of a soft spot for CAM, having met her on one of my first MN outings, so am saddened by this (although missed what the original gripe was about)

What I actually do object to is that MN deleted the half of this story that would make it very, very clear that this was NOT one-sided.

But I am sorry people got upset (me included).

Bit more love, bit less (fewer?) knuckles from me for a bit then.

...just like at the end of the story, when hunca Munca turned out not to be so very naughty after all, becuase she started sweeping up the dollies house every morning...

I've not even mantioned CAM though, because God knows she probably has enough to deal with, I have been upset by someone accusing me of bullying. I have no grudge with Cam. I don't like it when anyone feels they must leave, I know how bad I^ would have to feel before I left.

But FWIW, custy, you are right, I probably need to get over myself a bit.

custy is right again. strike up another one for the proletariat.

That is a great post custy!
CAM, if you are by any chance still reading, please mail me. Address has not changed.

I was tempted to put I agree with custy but I have typed that at least once this week so can't be doing it again

I agree with Zippi

I agree with hunker

Great post custy!

Mumsnetters....Putting the mental back into Judgemental

LOL stop the agreeing, its getting pervy

by the way, just to be clear about this, i just noticed that i said earlier on that there was only really one person who wouldn't let it lie but i want to point out that i didn't mean cam. by the time i left her that night we'd had a really good discussion and a few laughs and i thought we were both going to sleep.
i really don't want cam to leave and i really wish she didn't feel that she had to. and i am truly sory for my part in this, but custy, sometimes when you just know that you are more sinned against than sinner then it's a bit rich to have to tolerate all this speculation. i think it's that which has kept it going, rather than a whit of resentment towards cam, tbh. but i nevertheless agree.

I learned something new...I know now why hunkermunker is hunkermunker and where that name comes from...mn always good to teach you a few new things, eh...the big and the little! (Beatrix Potter is not somehting I grew up with, btw...., lol)

May I also ask...when does a Newbie stop being a Newbie and becomes and Oldie?
There was a fair bit of the newbies ruin it all, teh oldies daren't post...so, what is what and who is who?

This is fun - I think I'll go epilate my bikini line & trim my nose hairs

It seems to me that the person who ends up doing the swearing and shouting is given the tag of being the 'biggest sinner.'

But if you feel that on a thread that your commemts/questions are being ignored, judgements about you are being made, only one viewpoint is acceptable and that a small group of posters who seem to know each other and hold the same view, are forming a 'closed shop' of only one correct opinion, and talk to each other with in jokes and pithy remarks around you...you may well end up feeling like swaering rather alot.

No one ever here of passive aggressive?

Wheteher it's bullying is endlessly debatable, but it ceratinly smacks of schoolgirl stuff, where a core group control the right opinions, and enforce this subltey theough maintaining and 'in group.'

No one ever watch big brother??

Custy is 100% right, the ability to stand back and at least try to see you own role in a debacle such as this, is the adult way to behave.

I didn't see the end of the thread, but I do know that Hunker is very kind and thoughful on other threads (seen it with my own eyes.)

But the start of that thread did have tones of subtle schoolgirl bulying, with outsider opinions not tolerated.

I resisted posting but if I had may well have ened up swearing a bit myself.

What I love is how people who didn't see the whole story think they can make valid judgements about it.

I hear what you're saying though, Psycho and I have apologised where necessary. The above statement doesn't only refer to your post and I appreciate what you say about me being kind elsewhere (it's my default mode ).

I am not the 100% evil bitch some people seem to see me as - yes, I can be a chippy fucker sometimes, but fgs, who wouldn't be when they were got at as roundly as I have been over the last few days. And I am NOT playing the victim, really I'm not.

But Psycho, I'm not sure if you were referring to Cam's outburst or my first and second posts on Cod's thread with the first part of your post - this thread started off just as you describe.

There's an "old girl our shit smells of roses and all the others are sanctimonious bullies" tone to the start of this thread, after all.

Message withdrawn

Not sure exactly what I am refering to now Hunker , so many threads/posts/deletions and only skimmed reading, I can't honestly claim to have a complete view of it all.

I do often think on here however, why do poeple not respond more empthetically (is ther such a word??) when someone says 'I'm really hurt/feeling bullied' etc. Often the respones is 'well if you acn't take it leave.'

It's so easy to say 'I'm sorry i didn't mean it like that/to hurt your feelings etc, I just meant...etc etc.'

Admittedly I ususally think this, when I'm not involved, when involved and feeling passionatel i'm probably just as guilty of the impatient 'sod you' attitude.(alright not probably I am, but I do feel bad afterwards)

It's just if someone usualy rational like CAM gets to the point of swaering and leaving, shouldn't we refect on why that happened rather than just apportioning blame?
Something made her feel that bad.

hello everyone
gap sale is on

This sort of shite has been going on since I joined 2 years ago.

I think there has been at least on "MN has changed - and not for the better" type thread a month since I joined, and probably zillions beore that

Hunker I don't think anyone who spent any time on MN could think you're a 100% bitch.

I'd say 67%.

only joshing

You are usually kind, insightful an sometimes just a little bit funny.

That one particualr thread was unpleasant in 'oh so many ways' and has taken on a life of it's own.

It certainly doesn't reflect what I'm sure most people on here think of you.

Message withdrawn

Yawn.Gap sale is always on.

Did they have anything good? I've gone off them recently.

After a short while on MN you KNOW by how you phrase an OP what sort of responses you're going to get. If you put down a challenge, you will get 'challenging' replies. If you humbly ask for help that's what you'll get. If you want a reasoned debate you phrase the OP in a way that doesn't exclude people. HunkerMunker made an error of judgement in how she phrased the OP. Had I done what she did I would NOT have been surprised by the venom it provoked!