Harsh, but ban the non thread readers please!

[longdiling]

Lighthearted. Kind of.

I propose that mnhq start banning the non thread readers. The cancel the chequers if you will.

I don't mean people who read threads but don't take in a bit of info sometimes. We all do that. I mean the 'i haven't read the full thread but...' people who then go on to flog a completely dead horse or perpetuate the resurrection of a zombie thread where 20 posters have already said ZOMBIE THREAD.

Read the op, read the end of the thread. If you are moved enough to post then read through the rest. It's not that hard is it?

Or the threads that go from 'yeah op afraid to say YABU your MIL deserves to be included on Xmas day', to the hysterical threadsplaining 'op you are a nasty vindictive bitch and I hope you get a nasty yeast infection. God help your family. You make me sick. Your mother in law is a saint and you are a rotten little caaaaaaaah'.

Whenever I see 'I think the OP is getting a hard time'

HRF dw hunz you know bubba bettr than ne1 alwayz here 4 u babes xoxo

There was a great one where someone posted that tedious mantra:
OP: AIBU? I don't think I am.
All PPs: YABVU.
OP: IANBU and you're all mean.

The trouble was that, at the time she posted, there had only been one post from the OP, so her claim that OP was refusing to listen was unfounded anyway. And she crossposted with the OP coming back to say "On reflection, you're right, IABU, thanks everyone" - and OP's post appeared above hers in the thread making her look even more daft.

Would that's amazing

🍳-->>> 😊

Haven't RTFT or the op but;
"Wowzie where's duck?"
"Ahh snake!"
"I'm a tot and you're a tot, Tilly, Tom and Tiny!"
throws mash potato round frivolously
Brum is in the cotswolds car museum in Bourton on water (loved visiting as a child).
Also wondering if honey badgers and honeydragon are related

is possibly a threadcunt
Please don't ban me, smack my bum and turn off my WiFi!

Ooh Bourton on the Water is lovely.

You can punch toddlers carrying lemon drizzle cake

More seriously I agree, not hard to RTFT if you are motivated enough to respond. Maybe some of Empress earlier and very sensible suggestions could be put in place? If not love the eye tracking technology idea

even can I punch the 16 month old who is currently screaming down my ear because he's tired because he refused to sleep until 11pm last night, but he also won't nap.

Those guilty of threadcuntery should have to wear some sort of badge of shame - perhaps the letters RTFT in bold and scarlet appended to their username - until they have re-earned their way back into civilised society by producing at least a dozen well-thought-through and relevant posts.

Either that or yeah, burn them with fire.

How about this one Accio?

Or the fire idea is good too

Can't believe you's r talkin bout punching your ickle man poor lil bubba you should be locked up hunz

arf it won't be long before they complain. What they don't realise is a quick punch is usually enough to knock them out and stop the crying for a bit

If the toddler is eating keenwaaaah but is glancing at the lemon drizzle, what then? I dont want to go into full punchy mode, please help MN

fizz well, he's not crying anymore.

Maybe just a slap round the back of the head just

Throw something at it just? Lock it back in its toddler cage?

I'll be honest im having trouble finding an ethically sourced local grown toddler cage, the struggle is real.

Just I use a large dog cage and put some ball pool balls in the bottom, little fucker doesn't know the difference

I gave up trying to pen mine in. Feral little shits kept escaping

Haven't rtft so call me the Duchess of Argyll's own personal threadcunt...
But can I add the people who come on to a 12 page thread and post a reply to the OP that starts with
"Hi OP's name..." as if they've deigned to finally pop in to the room of lowly posters and grace the OP with a personalised reply. It's not everyone who starts with the OP's name but there's something self important about it.
I'd like my turn with the BanHammer and wield it at them.

I especially like the non RTFT people who come into their own on a Zombie thread. 9 pages of AIBU from 2009, OP long gone, a few people saying 'FFS Zombie thread' then a post telling OP exactly how to handle the Reception class problem.

My Dsis once had a one night stand romantic encounter with Bodger. I don't think it involved either Badger or mashed potato though.

I include a picture of The duchess of argyle with a dog which looks a little like a badger if you squint.