Disablism

[BishopBrennansArse]

Shiny new thread.

Hopefully won't get derailed.

Whilst you're consulting disability charities you might like to consider organisations like these for some training

Well that clears everything up then.

We are all wrong, becuase years ago you tried something and you don't think it will work.

Brilliant.

Dismissive

And now on a thread that had been going so well about autism there's someone asking the question of whether it's ok to cure a person with autism because that's what the person caring for them wants. Without knowing what the person with autism wants.

FFS, why do MNHQ think that they can make a better decision about what is offensive than the people who are actually fucking offended??

The same line has been pushed for months now... 'we are seeking advice', 'we are looking into it' ' we are trying this'.

It isn't working. Listen to us!

And what about the situations where the moment someone brings up disabilities, they get harassed and hounded with pedantic arguments (like the thread I was on tonight) where every time I answered accusations, I was accused of all sorts. So essentially I wasn't allowed to reasonably respond to their comments without being accused, but they went after my posts over and over.

It's every time now. The moment disability is brought up on those kind of threads, it's like a group beat-down on those posters that dare to mention disability.

I don't know why I bother anymore. The party line seems to be "we are discussing it" and "we are monitoring it." Well, discussing and monitoring doesn't seem to be helping. Looks like "sorry, folks, but we're not interested in making positive changes" would be a more honest answer.

Candy, totally right there re civil rights etc.
I do not know how MMHQ are so blind.
MMHQ, you would do well to utilise the link Bishop put up and get some training. Or apply critical thinking / compassion.

I stayed within talk guidelines on my thread Katemumsnet.

Freedom of speech is not freedom to be disablist. Stop it.

You do think we don't understand what freedom of speech is?

Fro. Our posts do we come across is unintelligent?

Do you think we can't tell the difference between freedom of speech and disablism?

W don't report EVERY post you know. We enjoy reading free speech.
We are quite able to distinguish between the two.

How insulting.

Protecting the feelings of posters who are anxious to post but not our feelings?

Are there feelings more important?

With every mumsnet excuse you are becoming more and more insulting.

@GingerIvy

And what about the situations where the moment someone brings up disabilities, they get harassed and hounded with pedantic arguments (like the thread I was on tonight) where every time I answered accusations, I was accused of all sorts. So essentially I wasn't allowed to reasonably respond to their comments without being accused, but they went after my posts over and over.

GingerIvy, in that situation please do report and we'll definitely take a look.

I did. Tonight. Nothing was done.

Navy you said my thread was a taat
.
I was asking for support to improve the situation so that people could post without a bun fight.

You were not supportive,

I've supported you in the dog house when you've received flak.

Generally I try to support people on MN.

You were unsupportive on a thread about supporting this impacted by disabilities.

And you've come here to tell us how it's done?

Do you not rakish we've already tried every which way? And nothing works? And yet we keep on?

No doubt you will get defensive and say I'm wrong, we are wrong

Deny
Dismiss
Diminish

Or maybe you could try a less aggressive, bombastic approach? Without the shouting and stropping?

Loads of us go in actually quite evenly, and it's like the mention of the word disability or SNs is akin to a match near lighter fluid. Instantly, you can see the rolling eyes and sarcasm, and exasperation that we've dared to bring it up.

We already hear pretty often from MNers who say that they're very anxious about posting on this issue (some are parents of disabled children themselves).

I would agree with that. I wouldn't say anxious but there is a definite feeling that people are looking for problems here rather than just highlighting them.

I feel like the housing thread was no different.

Why would anyone want to post about one of the hardest parts of their lives if they feel there are people out there waiting for them to trip up?

Right let's clear this up.

My life is hard enough.

I am not looking for problems.

This is hard for you to rea and you'll probably feel defensive.

Blaming me by saying the issue is I'm looking for problems is disablist.

You've made a negative assumption about me because I want there to be no disablism and the only way I can make that happen is to address disablism.

I'm not a trouble maker
I'm not over sensitive
I'm not over reacting

But you have hurt me, frustrated me and insulted me by having that presumption.

What would you like to happen Candy?

Do you believe the OP should not have posted asking about her home or that mumsnetters shouldn't express concern about their child's seating?

I am trying to understand:)

However my hurt, frustration and offence isn't as important to Katemumnet as your "anxiety or not even anxiety"

I've made you slightly uncomfortable.

Actually I haven't. Society's crao attitude to disability has made you slightly uncomfortable.

Note to self. Must hide my own struggle, it's worth less than someone elses slight uncomfortableness.

@CandyMcJingles

Freedom of speech is not freedom to be disablist.

That is completely correct, and we will continue to delete overt disablism or goadiness. But where a post's disablism is not immediately apparent to many - and is, in fact, being disputed on the thread - we don't feel we can automatically delete it.

We're not trying to be insulting though, we promise - and we certainly don't underestimate your intelligence.

Candy, this is ridiculous.

My post was not disablist.

Ah.

This merry go round hey.

mumsnetters shouldn't express concern about their child's seating?

You know what would be refreshing? It would be to see a poster say "AIBU to go in to the school and demand that they improve the level of support in my child's classroom as some children don't seem to be getting appropriate support and it's affecting the whole class."

So much nicer (and actually more accurate to the problem) than people complaining about disruptive children and how they don't want them near their child, but are happy to see all the "disruptive talkative children" grouped together elsewhere in the room at their own table and stating that it's acceptable if those children don't learn as much, as long as it's not affecting their own child.

Mistress.

I did say you would get defensive.

I'm totally with you, Candy.
For those who can't see it: if a black person tells you that something is, accidentally, racist, then you'd take their word for it, I'd imagine. As you should.
If a woman tells a man who is that something is, accidentally, sexist, then a decent bloke will listen and take it on board.
This. Is. The. Same.
I have had to learn this. You can too. It's ok to make mistakes. Absolutely fine, that's how people learn. What is infuriating is the dismissal of those WHO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. Please listen.