Disablism

[BishopBrennansArse]

Shiny new thread.

Hopefully won't get derailed.

Fwiw the guest post has gone from the top of active which at least shows they are perhaps seeing the irony.

Really going now.

Did my thread get deleted?

I don't get deletion messages on my phone and it's disappeared from my TIO? Did it really get deleted?

yes, it did. TAAT, basically.

Deletion message said (not verbatim) they were sorry. They are going to respond but need to think about how to move forward. Deleted as it was rehashing old threads.

the thread I'm on has descended into the usual "none of the children have SNs, I'm SURE of it" and then they all clatter onto the bandwagon talking about how some of these children don't have SNs they're just naughty and people are just seeing things where there isn't anything.

The disruptive child is another one of those incidents where we are aware it could be OUR children being talked about, or requested to be moved away from their precious snowflake..

WE all want the best for our children, and no, it isn't right for the school to use other children as support for ours, however, our kids can't be ostracised or made to sit on their own in a corner with no interaction.

Its covert disablism.. again, replace the 'ism' and see if its acceptable.

Move my child away from that muslim
Move my child away from that jewish boy
Move my child away from that Gay boy
Move my child away from that Black/Pakistani/Chinese boy.
Move my child away from that disabled boy.

Its discrimination, they only want their child moved because they don't like something about who that child is.. and its not ok.

What they SHOULD be doing, is asking if the school is adequately supporting the students to enable them all to work well with each other.

If they other child is being a bully, then its different because thats about protecting your child, but again, the school is failing them.

If the ONLY reason, like in that thread, you want your child moved is because you dont like that your child is sat next to someone disruptive/chatterbox/not doing work then you need to ask yourself if you're being discriminatory.

Jesus Christ.

I said that if I try to discuss anything the Taat thing comes out.

How can we move forward if every thread gets deleted?

I'm not sure that works Maddy because as you know, not all disruptive children are disabled and not all disabled children are disruptive.

I do understand the point you are making but it isn't a completely correct analogy.

well, the thread I'm on didn't get deleted. I got roundly attacked on pedantics by a few prolific posters and then they ventured into "well, hey, none of them really have SNs, we KNOW this - most kids in Y5 and up that are disruptive don't have SNs, they just don't behave."

My post of this:
But playing the "I don't want that child sitting next to my child" game isn't helpful. It's NIMBY on a classroom level, and it doesn't teach your child anything about life. Those that have disabilities are part of society and the sooner children (and parents) learn about that and become familiar with that, the sooner we have less of these threads with people not wanting to have to deal with the children at "that table." These are PEOPLE you are talking about. It would be nice if we all could remember that.

Was responded to with this:

Christ on a Bike! Nowhere has the OP said that the other children have disabilities. She has said taey are chatterboxes and a bit lively.
AFYI, not every child who plays up in class has a disability. Believe it or not there are some children who play up for no other reason than they can.

People seem determined to see things where there's nothing to see.
Must be a full moon or something.

My bingo card is full up.

I've started another thread.

It's not a Taat.

I'm asking for advice and support.

Judging by Rebeccas reply on it, we're expected to sit down, shut up and stay in our corner until MNHQ have spoken officially.

It appears so.

Rebeccas response to Candys thread.

"Thanks for this Candy, we are trying to pull together some info and we will post on the thread in site stuff. We'd very much appreciate it if you could hang fire with starting threads to rehash the issues that have already been discussed. Please do keep an eye out in Site Stuff for our post and please do respond to that.

At the moment, these threads are creating more reports and taking time away from us being able to deal with the issues that you'd like us to look into.

Many thanks"

My reply

Wow.

Really, Funny that, i don't recall this being the response when there were eleventy million Transgender threads popping up.

Why do we get told to sit down, shut up and stay in our corner until we have your permission to keep posting?

So tired. It's a constant reminder that we can't just be normal people.

The "othering" is unbelievable.

I've added to that message. I don't imagine they'll be happy with me though. I'm just frustrated.

Well I've finally got a response.

Rebecca is RUDE.

Candy MNHQ have a duty of care to their employee, Rebecca. Allowing customers to directly attack a member of staff (and I'm with you on the frustration) is not going to help things.

Please can you consider rewording your post, you're to passionate an advocate to lose from the cause. Would something like...

'I'm really frustrated that I feel the response by MNHQ has tried to pigeon hole us and disabilism into the naughty corner - we wouldn't see this if it was transgender TAAT's'

convey the message without the direct personal insult?

Thanks for your feedback on the last couple of threads - we do understand that some of you feel strongly that we are not dealing firmly enough with disablism on the boards.

It seems as though the really sticky issue is not overt disablism (which on the whole most of you think we get broadly right) but with what some MNers consider to be covert disablism. For example, an OP where a MNer's child has been upset or hurt by another child and has failed to consider whether or not that child might have SN. Or last night's thread, where some of you considered that it should have been understood that supported accommodation for 'challenging' 16-24 year-olds would likely contain a good proportion of young people with disabilities.

Our difficulty is that these threads are seen by many as attempts to get answers to valid - if difficult - questions. Or they are the expression of that MNers' own, personal lived experience - and while we understand that threads like these must sometimes seem to lack understanding of the issues facing disabled people or the parents of disabled children, our instinct is to allow the questions to be asked or the experience to be related.

As you know our view is generally to err on the side of freedom of expression - but more importantly, in our experience the sledgehammer approach just doesn't work. Instead of changing views, it seems likely to make it almost impossible to discuss any subject relating to disability, whether closely or tangentially. We already hear pretty often from MNers who say that they're very anxious about posting on this issue (some are parents of disabled children themselves).

We know this probably is not the answer you're hoping for, but it's where we're at right now. We'll continue to discuss it carefully here, and we're going to contact a couple of disability organisations to sense-check our thinking on some specific issues which seem to come up consistently. We really do want to do as well as we can at this, for everybody, and we know we don't get it right 100% of the time.

In the meantime please do make sure that, if you do get involved in discussions, you stay within the TGs. We know that these are emotive issues which people inevitably feel very strongly about, but - as is the case across MN - PAs will be deleted, and those who persistently do so risk a ban.

So casual discrimination of the most vulnerable people in our society is fine then, MMHQ?

Fantastic.

KateMumsnet. You deleted my thread where I asked a valid but difficult question.
I want given the same right as the poster making a disablist thread about supports living.
So I don't accept the difficulty you say you have.
If it's that difficult for you (and I don't get that, I would assume the criteria for working for MN is quite high), then you need help.
We are actually doing the legwork for you, explaining the covert disablism, reporting it, expecting a fair response.

Stop making excuses.especially the same old excuses.

Get tough on disablism. Give it s trial. Three months of actually believing us, accepting what we say.

Suffragettes were misunderstood.
Civil rights campaigners were misunderstood.

Stop misunderstanding us.