Disablism

[BishopBrennansArse]

Shiny new thread.

Hopefully won't get derailed.

people don't seem to realise it's untrue and hurtful.

And we all know what happens if we apply the very same attitude to other matters don't we.

So people are saying we're hurting the cause.... why the hell are we expected to be so calm all the time?

why the hell are we expected to be so calm all the time?

We have no other uses than to be educators, that's why.

Generally if a poster is making assumptions and stereotyping it's an ism.

And perpetuating stereotypes and encouraging stereotypes.

It is prejudice.

And ignorant

If you realised you've fallen into the trap it takes a lot of guts to say agh!

We all want to think of ouselvrs as fair minded as pag said and it's wince making to realise We've slipped up.

It's a mark of a perso s character of they are able to say sorry. I've reflected and taken additional advice and I made a mistake.

If you don't have that ability, you really have no business passing judgment.

Because we are the minority. We don't have the physical majority so have to appeal to intellect.

Tis not right, or fair, but to quote my old dad 'who ever told you life was fair'.

We aren't sitting with a choice between where we think things should be and where we actually are. We just are where we are and can only move from this point.

Has anyone contacted Justine? It needs to be a whole HQ approach, not just one mod at a time.

Bishop, because shouting and screaming gets us nowhere.

ITs not that we don't have a valid point, WE DO undeniably.

But when we go in, shouting screaming namecalling and throwing abuse all we achieve (here at least) is getting ourselves deleted and the other people feeling they've 'won' because we've been silenced.

Its the old 'you catch more flies with honey' thing.

We can make our point, firmly but politely.

I can't stand and screech at my sons Teachers when they fuck up, i just get chucked off the premises. Instead i have to advocate in an intelligent manner to get my point heard and understood.

This isn't our home, its MNHQ, and while we can fight and push to change things, it has to be done RIGHT, getting ourselves deleted and banned achieves nothing.

Can someone explain how i de-activate my account?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/2759838-Are-the-quiet-bright-studious-children-destined-to-sit-with-the-disruptive-children-as-a-positive-influence-on-them

I guarantee that if I went into that thread and pointed out that perhaps the children can learn some tolerance and learn about the struggles that the "naughty" children that talk alot and sit at "that table" (as it was referred to by some) as they may have a disability..... I would be jumped all over, and the phrase "SN brigade" would likely be trotted out. That's the kind of atmosphere I see on MN now.

Not one person has disagreed with the OP. All those children should be kept away from the rest.

Maybe it's just me seeing it as depressing, as my child was one of those "talkative" children in school (but he was also at the top of the class, so go figure).

Tried honey, got the piss taken.
I'm very willing to engage when people want to know. But the current crop of goady posters can do one, frankly.

Oh and by the way in RL confrontation is not what I use when dealing with professionals. Hits in the street yes.

Gits even

Hits in the street conjures up this lovely image of you with a concealed weapon taking on the world.

Bishop, you're right. Being nice changes nothing in these situations.

I never screamed. I never threw abuse. I never name called.

I was deleted. I was miscalled and mocked. I was talked down down in a pejorative way. I was threatened with suspension.

And it is this time of the day. And HQ have been on this thread deleting my comment and yet they have no said a peep. Not one.

i didn't say nice, i said polite ;)

It is quite possible to tell someone that they are an epid shitweasel and to go fuck themselves without calling a cunt a cunt ;)

I can't believe MMHQ haven't commented either, yet have obviously had time to delete comments. Nice message, hmm?

Yeah.... I don't think I've been deleted though? (I don't look back) I've been abrupt not abusive.

Yes, I get what you mean Maddy .

Smart. It tell me all I need to know. And that, without being emotionally blackmailing, makes me really sad and upset.

Justin's will be aware.

PresidentOliviaMumsnet is following us.

That thread alone is discriminating between children.

Why are the children disruptive?

Let's segregate children.

MN won't see a problem with it. The op is entitled to ask a discriminatory question.

If we object we are looking for a fight cos we enjoy fights. It's how we get our kicks. What trouble makers we are.

Can you imagine e the impact if MN immediately deleted and said come on now, that's not cricket.

People would stop and think.

I will de-activate now. how long does it take?

Begin education with me please.
I suspect my position is not acceptable: though it seems very logical to me. I promise that I am not trying to be goady. My DD(12) is under assessment for aspergers/high functioning ASD and I suspect that were the same diagnostic criteria used when I was a child I'd be on the spectrum...as it is I'm just a scientist with low emotional intelligence.
Right: my position (which is based on what I was taught in the 80s I guess). People with a disability are firstly people and secondly a person with a disability. It is morally and legally appropriate that modifications are provided to (for want of a abetter word) counteract the disability as much as possible to allow the person to do whatever they would choose to do if they did not have a disability, but people should all be treated equally beyond that.
Thus, on the thread with the Dad with the child with a disability: my expectation would be that the employer would provide shorter hours or flexible working as necessary, the workmate would cut some slack if they were friends, but the Father himself should still do good quality work for the time that he is in the office/fulfil whatever contract has been agreed with management and workmates should not be disadvantaged. Is this disablist?
Or: at a music festival: 3 toilet cubicles in a portacabin, one accessible cabin standing alone. 20 people queueing. My position would be that everyone without a disability queues together but the accessible cubicle still gets used if it's available when someone gets to the front. If someone who specifically needs the accessible cubicle comes along they go straight up to it rather than joining the combined queue. Is this disablist?
ASD generally seems to be so different between people it's really difficult to make accommodation without asking for lots of information on the individual up-front. Is making presumption based on generalities in the absence of individual knowledge disablist? For example: I run a Brownie unit and we have had girls with ASD in the group. Each one is different but based on our experience there are a couple of things which all have had in common: if I tell a new parent that we have a quiet box in the kitchen away from the group or that we provide a coloured card for the girl to show to their nominated leader when they want to withdraw rather than having to put their hand up or make a scene, rather than just asking what they want initially...is this disablist ?
I would like to be a useful advocate. My DH used to be a care worker for young adults with a genetic disorder linked to a variety of traits/behaviours and disabilities. Overtly disabled language is banned in our house. I'm not convinced we're as informed as we should be.

Re the quiet box, I would want the leader to say "we have this available, as it is helpful for some of the other children. If you think this might be helpful for your child, I will happily make sure it's available to your child as well."

Then you're not making assumptions that it's a "one size fits all" but are offering it as a possible aid, which the parent can then either say "yes, that might be helpful" or "no that wouldn't help my child."

And then ask if they have any other suggestions that might be helpful.