Oh come on MNHQ!

[Soubriquet]

You never used to delete threads because the poster got arsey when things wasn't going their way!

Protect their privacy my back side. There was nothing to be protected

My first thread was in AIBU. About my coming into care three years ago. 20% Supportive posters and the rest called me a troll, a liar and MUCH worse. Didn't name change though

I thought my suggestion of gender reveal pizza was worth further consideration.

I liked the idea of pies.

Thinking about pizza though, would you know when you opened the box and saw the toppings? Or how?

Soubriquet - I've had the same experience with a thread (about a friend's threatened suicide). After a few useful suggestions, it turned into a bunfight of "this guy (the friend) is a con-artist, he's not really going to do it, he's just going to ask you for money once he's got your sympathy". MNHQ didn't delete it ("we don't delete threads at poster's request").

(Happy ending though, fwiw - I managed to get hold of his dad, dad intervened in time to stop event, several years later, no booze, mentally a lot more stable, he now jokes that his family still light candles for me!)

The deletions that really piss me off are the ones where some sexist journo in media requests gets their arse handed to them on a plate, then goes all special-snowflakey. C'mon, you're a journo on a tabloid substitute for toilet paper - you should be tougher than that! And the threads are usually pretty witty and deserving of keeping.

Of course you would know with pizza
Sausages - boy
Vongole - girl

Of course. Thanks Chardonnay.

I feel ready to throw a gender reveal party.
There might be a change in careers in for me.

Hi Soubriquet, hi all,

Thanks for rapping our knuckles asking about this.

First off, we'll hold our hands up and say you're right - it looks as though we have used the standard, "This thread has been deleted at the OP's request. (We don't normally delete whole threads but we will do so when it is to protect a poster's privacy.)" message rather a lot lately. And we completely take your point, the second sentence is stretching it a bit.

Here's what our Talk Guidelines say about thread deletions:

"We don't generally delete whole threads; it's frustrating for those who've taken the time to write responses to see them removed. That said, we're here to make people's lives easier, so if you have a pressing reason for wanting a thread you started to be deleted, please report it to us and we'll take a look."

We're not always able to go into details about why we've deleted a particular thread, but suffice to say, we don't ever do it lightly, especially when a lot of people have invested time and energy in posting. We always try to explore other options first - be that a retrospective name change, moving the thread to our 30-days only topic, torching the place, whatever.

At the end of the day, we're generally a pretty fair bunch. We may not always get it right, and we're truly sorry to anyone who feels unfairly treated in the past when they've asked/begged for a thread to be deleted. We haven't changed our policy as such, but there's a slim possibility we're mellowing with age.

We'll do our best in future to always post as comprehensive a deletion message as we're able to, so we're not trotting out the standard message, and hope to win back a bit of trust.

Oh, and MistressMerryWeather, if you want us to take that old thread down for you, just say the word. No one will notice after all this time...

I was going to start a thread about this. There's been two threads recently that have been deleted for 'privacy' - one from a worried poster, fair enough she was getting quite distressed but mainly because posters were pointing out something she wasn't ready to hear yet. But there was one a month or two back where a poster was throwing an after graduation party, everyone said that was a terrible thing to do to the neighbours (as in, a party that didn't start till midnight) and somehow that got deleted for privacy too

Dawn I'd actually like my first thread reinstated as by my post history surely you can all see I'm not a troll?

And the deletion message on that said "This thread has been removed while we take a closer look"

Ffs I lost a really good username when NC out of humiliation when I got my arse handed to me in my early MN days. Not cool.

Thank you Dawn

Didn't mean to rap your knuckles

I appreciate you coming and explaining

Empress On the pizzas there would be specially arranged jalepeno peppers above slices of pepperoni for a boy. Sundried tomatoes arranged into the shape of vulvas for girls.

@Soubriquet

Thank you Dawn

Didn't mean to rap your knuckles

I appreciate you coming and explaining

That's fine, it needed saying.

Arf- that made me properly chortle

@Arfarfanarf

Oh i absolutely agree there needs to be a different deletion message.

Perhaps 'op asked us to delete this thread because they didnt like the responses and you know what, we really don't give a shit, so we gave Sulky McPouter their way."

Busted!

Awk, Dawn what a lovely response. Poor HQ, we are always moaning at you about something and you're always so nice.

Thank you for the offer to delete my thread but as I said, I absolutely deserved my flaming. :o

I feel like that opinionated elderly aunt.

"Back in my day you were told to rub some dirt on it and walk it off. Everyone needs a good flaming from time to time, it builds moral fibre! You youngins don't know yer living"

Thanks for the response DawnMN - all totally understandable, and I agree with Mistress, that was really nice. Sorry for being a MoanyMcMoaner.

I did actually get a thread deleted under another NN, genuinely because of privacy. I posted something about my DH, and about 50 posters asked me all sorts of questions about it (understandable, they needed clarification to give advice etc) - but during the thread, I'd practically told my life story, as well as details of his commute to work etc, where we lived, and it was really identifiable.

MN were kind enough to agree, and deleted it after I'd gone back on the thread and thanked everyone for the advice. It wasn't bunfighty at all - but that's what "to protect poster's privacy" should mean.

The world needs more opinionated elderly aunts!

Dawn, have you ever had to resort to 'torching the place'?

There was a phase when MNHQ's deletion messages were particularly creative and I enjoyed them muchly. Can we bring that back? Could we form a deletion message committee??

I love that suggested deletion message. Go on Dawn I dare you.

Oh, Oh! I want to join the committee.

I propose that all deletion messages must come in the form of a poem.

A haiku?

"This thread must go now
Don't be too upset. It was
All made up bullshit'