A pondering about the Sex topic (and wider)

[FlyingElbows]

The Sex topic is potentially a very valuable resource for those who choose to use it whether they contribute or just read. I believe that the freedom to discuss sex in an open and adult manner is a good thing and very lacking in some people's lives. However... it has been described as "the most joyless sex topic ever" and I believe that that is due in no small part to the small handful of persistent posters whose only contribution is to challenge and deride poster's experiences. It's not big, clever or helpful and will actively discourage posters from seeking help and support. Would it be possible for HQ to sticky a post reminding contributors to be respectful? If people really have to hoik their bosom and get the vapours about other people's relationships then they already have the facility of the relationships board.

What are your reasons for visiting the sex topic usual?
genuine question.
It's just I never look at the boards I have no interest in.

I thought that fisting thread was ridiculous, funny for about a page then just ridiculed/ de railed the OP 's thread and concerns. It wasn't anal fisting iirc,it was about fisting ( nothing to do with fists and not as alarming as it first sounds)

I'm thinking of another thread then.

The amusing fisting thread I read, started to get funny when a poster questioned getting a 'fiat' up yer chuff. It was about vaginal fisting and the OP was slightly concerned she had sustained an injury, however was eventually given the all clear at the GUM clinic.

In between the typos and the funnies, there were a lot of supportive and informative posts, but in the style that OP talks about, a few posters hopped on board specifically to degrade the OP (and others) for the practice. It's tedious and insulting.

Talking about sex doesn't make someone a weirdo.

We are not 10!

Oh, and I've had a good read through the posts on the board now (have never paid all that much attention as yet), and can honestly say that few, if any, scream troll.

Who'd have thought - people discussing sex on a sex board! And horror! Not everyone's tastes are exactly the same!!

Wherethefuck - yes, that's the thread I remember.

Nope, there don't seem to be trolls and the male contributions are valid and helpful.

A lot of people insist there are perverts , weirdos and trolls though - very odd

I'm struggling to understand it DameDiazepam, it would be too easy to write it off as stuck up people who are limited in their sex lives, so look down on people who are more adventurous than them, through some sense of envy.

I feel it's more insidious than this somehow. There is definitely a sense of righteous superiority there, mocking and shutting down of discussion, by calling 'troll', or 'abused and degraded'.

It would be helpful to have it explained by the posters who are so against kinks, fetishes, or alternative sexual practices, why they feel the need to frequent the sex board at all, (or those specific threads).

Completely agree.

I agree wholeheartedly with the OP.

There are threads there that have me going "EWwww!" But I'm grown up and mature enough not to feel the need to go on the thread and behave like an arse who thinks that only "vanilla" sex is appropriate.

Why not ask mnhq to hide the sex topic from Trending.

Since many most regular posters have hidden the topic, hiding it from Trending would mean they wouldn't see it at all.

And then all the wierdos could troll post to their hearts content with no-one questioning them.

TBH, if this is serious, it sums up what is wrong.

1. we are adults so why hide the fact that people want to talk about sex? Perhaps just grow up.

2. I resent the implication that regulars are uptight prides who can't see the word "sex" without hoiking their bosom and pursing their lips.

3. why are people who have a different sex life trolls and wierdos? Do you think that the aforementioned "missionary every third Thursday" is the only way to go?

I think the posts on this thread ridiculing vanilla sex are just as bad tbh

Except they aren't on a thread where someone is discussing their "vanilla" sex life are they? Which is what is wrong with the sex topic - whenever anyone discusses something less than ordinary, people leap in going "ewwww"

But they aren't, usual

They are ridiculing the 'eww' responses, not the vanilla sex as such,

But that's just it, usual, I have never seen someone attack someone for having a 'vanilla' sex life, unless in defence of their own sex life being criticised. On the other hand, reading through the sex board, I have witnessed many many people who express an interest in kinks, fetishes, and more 'out there' practices, being mocked, shut down, and told they're wrong.

And the evidence is there for all to see.

Can you point out the posts, specifically, please, where posters have ridiculed other posters with vanilla sex lives, because I'm struggling to see them.

Actually, Imo, using your pub analogy it's more like sitting in a booth and the people in the next booth are talking about Kylie Minogue and how much they love Kylie, you lean over the top and tell them you hate Kylie.
It goes further than that. It's like jumping in saying that Kylie is bad for you, it will make your brain melt, you don't like it really, you're only listening to keep your partner happy and it's the media who have forced you into thinking that you like it.

I completely agree that the thread needs a sticky to remind members that this is the sex thread, it might be explicit and if you don't like the subject matter, leave the thread! Also they should hide the topic if they don't like it.

There are trolls everywhere, but there are more genuine threads. If someone posts to ask some advice about trying anal sex, there is no need for anyone to post to say "ewww, that's disgusting", "he must be gay" etc. Comments that don't break the guidelines, but are just plain rude and unhelpful.

I think the posts on this thread ridiculing vanilla sex are just as bad tbh
No-one is ridiculing vanilla sex! People just want to enjoy their non-vanilla activities and discussion without being criticised.

I can't see where anyone has ridiculed vanilla sex?

I think if anyone could be bothered to go through the board, it would be painfully obvious that it is the posters with the non-vanilla sex lives who come under most scrutiny, disbelieving, criticism, and ridicule.

If that is what you've taken from this thread, Usual, you have spectacularly missed the point.

It's not enough to say the threads are coming up in active Usual and Maryz - why are people clicking, reading and commenting on these threads if they disapprove of it all?

See a sex related title in active conversations? Just ignore it if you're not interested.