Hey MNHQ. Would it be possible to have a discussion about how SN issues/threads are handled on the main boards.

[Pagwatch]

I know you are fire fighting a bit and I'm not trying to stir things up.

I just think that there are endless threads that require you to get involved and try to (for the sake of a better word) mediate between pissed of posters with no real experience of SN/disability and pissed off member of the SN/disability community.

I think you try really really hard to be fair and even handed. It's an understandable response but I have growing doubts about it.
There have been half a dozen threads recently where posters I recognise as living with SN/disability issues deal with a continuous stream of posts from any random who pops up on a thread making the same stupid, ill informed or frankly goady post.
It's like swimming through a tidal wave of shit.
Then, as posters get increasingly exasperated by each arriving poster saying 'well I'm not putting my buggy away if my baby is asleep' or 'why can't I use the disabled toilet if it's empty' or 'but people with SN can be violent. I know of stabbing someone and attacks all the time' they get rude and the thread descends into eurrgh.

I'm still reading constant posts where anyone affected by disability is berated if they are angry, the message being 'be nice, be grateful or we don't have to be fair'

It seems to me that the status quo of 'fairness' is simply unfair.
Posters already dealing with immense difficulty shouldn't be forced to defend themselves against every person who turns up and says unpleasant things under the umbrella of debate. You said a long time ago it was not our responsibility to educate but the reality is that, with no palpable support from you guys, we are endlessly having to educate.

I am not pretending to have the answer but is it possible to contemplate methods by which you could actually say to posters saying 'if someone in a wheelchair can't use their space because I'm not putting my buggy away' that their comments are wrong and not in the spirit of the site?

You link to the This Is My Child campaign but the posters who are the problem won't care and won't read it.

I don't know - I just wonder if you could think about this.
Sometimes there are not two sides to a debate because only one side is directly affected, exhausted, distressed and having their lives and their children's lives made harder.

Mylovegoesdown,

I understand the point you are making, and I appreciate your contribution but a couple of things.
Firstly I'm not calling for every ignorant post to be deleted. I'm not personally a huge fan of deletions. Sometimes it's better to see the shite that gets posted in all its glory.

But not deleting it and leaving it unchallenged are two different things.
I think MNHQ should stop leaving a number of already over burdened posters who are living daily with the effects of SN and disability to try and counter every uninformed ignorant poster who turns up to claim that ASD is an excuse for bad behaviour.
The other examples you cite would gain the support of mainstream posters. If there were a thread where someone was spouting nonsense about race there would be a tidal wave of indignation .
With SN the endless attacks, posted under the guise of debates, have resulted in us defending ourselves alone.
Lithe problem with that is not simply that it is unfair. But that it means that too much gets left unchallenged. That parents, exhausted by having to defend their chikdren and fight for support daily in real life, come on here and have to do it again - and have to do so amidst sneers and jibes about the SN brigade.

We are part of this community. We are caring for much loved children for whom life will inevitably be deeply challenging, facing difficulties ourselves and coping with burdens most posters will never understand.
We shouldn't be doing that without MNHQ being clear that endless disingenuous posts are not in the spirit of the site.

That's all. Not deleting or censorship. Just posting sometimes to say 'wheelchair spaces are for wheelchairs. If you continuously post that you 'won't put your buggy away and tough shit' we will reconsider whether you should have posting rights.

That linked thread is interesting as there is at least one poster who has "three strikes" on there alone - be interesting to see what happens. I'm not holding my breath I have to say.

It really is getting to the point where the frustration and anger at these posts/ posters is outweighing the support and the laughs. I don't say it lightly - I have been around MN about a decade and this is the worst I have ever seen it. I think it would be a shame to be driven away by insensitive fuckers but I really am coming to the end of my tether with all this brigade and professionally offended bollocks.

Pippity

Am just having a report fest on that thread.

Just not going there. disgusting posts.

Sorry mrsdv. You are doing a sterling job though of pointing out the error of people's ways.

I have just had enough of being flamed for this week

I'm sick of it now, and reporting and reporting and still nothing being done. People are genuinely being really upset and it makes MN look absolutely shite. MNHQ need to address this as a matter of urgency for the reputation of the site if not for the feelings of their members.

My god that thread has my blood pressure raised. My children could understand why it is offensive FRS.

Hope the thread will be deleted.

I have reported
But cant be arsed to post on it,
Im getting to fed up withtrying to educate stupid people
If it gets deleted nothing will happen, the disablist gf willcarry on
Just ban the ones that are being disablist

It beggars belief, doesn't it?

I'm already hacked off, and that thread isn't helping anything.

The complete disregard for how it may seem/feel/sound to anyone with a disability, knowing that so many people are completely happy to laugh along, form a group to all continue laughing and pointing.

As an aside, I was told today that dd2 (age 9, has HFA) is a bit immature, and needs to grow up and learn to handle situations better. The situation? She was on a residential and her so-called friends, who she was sharing a room with, messed up her bed and all her stuff while she was out of the room. Dd2 cannot fathom why anyone would do it, let alone people who are apparently her friends. And she's the immature one? Not the ones messing around with other people's stuff, the ones deliberately trying to upset an emotionally fragile child, the ones who haven't learned to control their base urges? Nope, blame the one with the disability. She should just grow up and accept her place, clearly.

I'd be in favour of banning them and deleting it, merely because reading it is upsetting people

Pandas, how unfair and infuriating

Seeing embaka upsets gives me the rage

Yep MN shouldn't delete that thread, they should come on and say "we will ban posters [you, you and you] for posting disablist bigotry"

It's amazing how those types want to be able to say whatever they want whilst simultaneously wanting everyone else to stfu.

YES.

If MNHQ want to be seen to taking a zero tolerance approval to disablism, which I assume they do, that doesn't mean just deleting whole bunfighty threads it means getting rid of disablist posters.

Thank you Pagwatch and other familiar names. I've avoided SN for a while as things have been tough here and I've needed space but some of those threads have got to me. I can never find the words, or to be honest, the energy to 'educate' people when I'm struggling with feeling bad that my 11 year old swears and meltdown but at the same time hates that he does it. It's
Not my parenting that's the problem, he has a brain injury!

I may pop back to SN to catch up, not that I was a prolific poster there anyway!

Deletion message has appeared on that thread

Nice to see you, Hairy.

There have been so many threads lately. I'm not here half as much as I used to be, yet I'm managing to catch too many crappy disablist-shite-spouting threads.
It's so depressing.

if people want a couple of examples of the just downright digusting level of stupidity of some people, and the level of ignorance, they're welcome to pull a couple of my posts i've made about my DS in the last 6 weeks.

There's a couple of quite long threads that MNHQ had to come onto and link back to the TIMC campaign.

I'm lucky that i was mostly able to remain calm and measured, and i've had people PM me to thank me for taking time to explain and highlight some of the issues around my sons disabilities and the trouble we face dealing with them in 'mainstream' society.

I just feel i shouldn't HAVE to educate people, i will, because it might help other people, but i shouldn't have to, non of us should.

I just remembered a thread a while ago which was deleted for the same "bunfight" reason (it was really a barely veiled rant at why SN children should be included in mainstream school). I asked MN about it here - this really isn't a new phenomenon, though obv the last couple of weeks have seen a sudden rise again.

Think there was a thread started about "Othering" a while ago which was started by a very eloquent, rational OP, and was a great discussion but descended into the prejudice and bigotry again, I think that got deleted too, but almost certainly not for being bigotted/disablist, but for being a 'bunfight'.

I'm really tired of this shit.
I'm going to bed.