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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Is Mumsnet HQ evil or not very bright.

595 replies

TiggyD · 23/07/2015 20:02

As some of you may already know you're allowed to call transgendered women "men in dresses" and refer to them as "he" and "him.

"So some men dressing as women..." as one posted said in relation to trans women got the reply from RebeccaMN:

We agree that this post is in poor taste but we don't tend to delete on those grounds because it would be really hard to know where to draw the line.
The truth is, we don't think we should be the arbiters of what people should find offensive and what they shouldn't. In these instances, it's very rare that a tasteless comment is left unchallenged, and we would highly recommend that you put forward your point of view on the thread.

Well firstly I think Mumsnet should draw the line at discrimination of a protected minority group.

Secondly, if MN don't think they should be the arbiters of what people should find offensive, maybe they should ask a representative from a human rights or anti discrimination group? Misgendering is always wrong.

Thirdly, is it rare an tasteless comment is unchallenged? Now the trans people on Mumsnet refuse to post on trans related threads who the hell is going to challenge them?

Fourthly, that post was unchallenged. Have a look at the thread.

Fifthly, "tasteless"? "TASTELESS"?! WTF? Tofu is tasteless. Would MNHQ describe calling people spastics or coons or faggots as tasteless? Misgendering is a put-down towards an entire minority. Dismissed as tasteless. Angry

A quick look at a quote about the 2010 equality act:
"harassment - unwanted behaviour linked to a protected characteristic that violates someone’s dignity or creates an offensive environment for them".

Is there harassment in trans related threads on here? Is the dignity of all transwomen violated by referring to them all as men in dresses? Bleedingly obviously yes. Does it create an offensive environment for them? How the hell could it not? Does Mumsnet do anything to stop it? No.

-----------------

It all makes me wonder if the people of MNHQ are deliberately letting all this unkindness and discrimination and harassment go on because they evil, or because they don't know any better.
I think I have it. I reckon it's like the Ricky Gervais thing where he started doing "Mong" faces. All kinds of people told him it was offensive and an unkind name for people with Downs Syndrome but he refused to accept it. I think he thought that as he believed himself to be a good person, and he used the word mong, that mong had to be an acceptable word because he was good. I think it must be like that in MNHQ. They believe themselves to be good people and when they allow people to call transwomen men on thier site it's fine because their belief in themselves being good trumps all the views of the victims.

-----------------

One question for MNHQ that I alluded to earlier. Have you ever asked any kind of trans, human rights, or anti-discrimination group about how to treat trans people?

Have you?

Ever?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Sparklingbrook · 05/08/2015 19:51

Not this again.

TheCowThatLaughs · 05/08/2015 19:55

I can't work out what you want them to say? Do you actually want to stop any debate or do you want there to be space for people (women) to discuss issues that affect them?
It comes across as you wanting to stop us from being able to talk about this tbh.
There are plenty of transpeople who do not believe themselves to actually be the opposite sex. So who you're defending, I'm not sure Hmm

kua · 05/08/2015 19:55

Tiggy You asked the question and it was answered.

Pretty poor form to repost a personal response.

Sparklingbrook · 05/08/2015 19:56

Agreed kua.

Original poster
TiggyD · 05/08/2015 19:59

Tiggy You asked the question and it was answered. It wasn't answered.

Pretty poor form to repost a personal response. Yup. Unfortunately it's the only way to communicate with HQ. I did send them a reply about a week ago but got no response.

OP posts:
TheCowThatLaughs · 05/08/2015 20:03

Just give it up now, eh? You don't have to post here if you don't want to

Sparklingbrook · 05/08/2015 20:03

Maybe they just don't want to engage with you any more? You never seem satisfied with anything they say.

Original poster
TiggyD · 05/08/2015 20:03

Do you actually want to stop any debate or do you want there to be space for people (women) to discuss issues that affect them? As I said in the post you just didn't read, I have no problem with debate. It's the stating things as facts that is the main problem.
eg "I don't believe trans women are women. I think they're confused men." That's an opinion. Fine.
But when it gets slipped into a conversation, eg "Men like Caitlyn Jenner...", that's misgendering and it's transphobic.

OP posts:
kua · 05/08/2015 20:03

tiggy Then perhaps you should look at your way of communicating.

TheCowThatLaughs · 05/08/2015 20:04

You're so fucking rude! Report any posts you see that say that then! What's the problem?!

kua · 05/08/2015 20:07

Oh, I read it, but I can't understand why you think this site/ moderators can police the wider public on every view.

Original poster
TiggyD · 05/08/2015 20:09

I do Cow. But what happens when they get left up?

OP posts:
TheCowThatLaughs · 05/08/2015 20:09

Nothing?

Whiskwarrior · 05/08/2015 20:11

Other parenting forums are available.

Other forums are available.

There is nothing making you post here so why all the angst?

If I was that bothered about something on here I'd log off. I have been known to do that. The world continued to turn.

NotJustaPotforSoup · 05/08/2015 20:11

I'm surprised that you are surprised that a website with a forum largely populated by women is not giving you the answers you think you deserve. On what basis you derive that belief that your are owed a more substantive response , I'm still not sure.

I know you don't get it, partly because you have no skin in the game and partly because you don't even read and consider the posts on trans threads except to pick out supposed transphobia.

Your fighting spirit would be much welcomed in the battle against the effects of rampant hyper masculinity which is the common enemy of women and transwomen. Up for it?

TheCowThatLaughs · 05/08/2015 20:12

Sorry I can't have this conversation again. It's a load of bollocks (literally)
Too boring

Original poster
TiggyD · 05/08/2015 20:12

If I was refer to somebody with a disability or who is a different race or sexuality with an insulting name it would get removed. Why do HQ not afford trans people the same dignity on their site.

OP posts:
BanditoShipman · 05/08/2015 20:14

But Caitlin Jenner is a man, he was born a man, biologically he is a man. I can't put I believe in front of that sentence because it's not a personal belief it's a biological fact Confused

Is it right that unless I lie and say he is a she I'm transphobic? Caitlin Jenner can be a transwoman but not a woman.

Sorry mnhq I've prob just started it all again :(

Original poster
TiggyD · 05/08/2015 20:16

I know you don't get it, partly because you have no skin in the game and partly because you don't even read and consider the posts on trans threads except to pick out supposed transphobia.

Actually, no pro trans/trans ally posts on those threads. Does that tell you something?

Your fighting spirit would be much welcomed in the battle against the effects of rampant hyper masculinity which is the common enemy of women and transwomen. Up for it?

I do my bit.

OP posts:
kua · 05/08/2015 20:18

band quite possibly. .

AskBasil · 05/08/2015 20:20

"Saying transwomen are men is transphobic"

Because men get to define what women are.

Don't forget it bitches. You've been getting a bit uppity in the last half century, what with all this equal pay and contraception and fertility rights. You need slapping back into place.

BakingCookiesAndShit · 05/08/2015 20:23

Attention seeking little man....in my opinion.

It's perfectly possible to have a conversation with MNHQ. You just respond to their email with an email of your own. I've had lots of conversations with them this way, without feeling the need to try and shame them by posting their replies and annotating them in green ink . Not that you are managing to shame them of course, their reply was fine and answered your questions in a fashion that any rational person would accept.

You might want to think about why you're trying to shame women into behaving in the way you want them to, despite it not being in women's best interests.

Who else does that?

Hmmm.

Oh yes, I have the answer.... MREs and other misogynists.

Hence proving everyone's basic point about your motives here. Go you!

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/08/2015 20:25

Tiggy you clearly consider yourself a trans ally. Do you consider yourself a feminist or ally? Because your tone is so dismissive of women's issues, so minimising.

NotJustaPotforSoup · 05/08/2015 20:27

You are no wallflower. If you had a counter - argument to "woman is not a feeling" or "a man is not a woman just because they don't want to be a man anymore", I have no doubt that you would enlighten us. But there is no counter to those, so you just flag up transphobia.

Well, I'm sorry, being a woman means something. It does mean something to individual women and it means something in wider society and therefore affects how we are treated and I will be damned if people like you get to erase any of that.

The GRA was a sop to those who didn't want gay marriage and I am outraged that this debate didn't happen then. So, it's happening now. Because it's harming women. Or at least some of those who have benefitted from that act are. And their allies.

BakingCookiesAndShit · 05/08/2015 20:29

Oh, and your comment about slurs about people with disabilities is bollocks. Plenty of ablist tripe is allowed to stand, and the mothers of children with disabilities are often slurred and demeaned for daring to raise the issue.

Keep trying to silence women though, you do seem to enjoy it so.

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