"MI5 should recruit from Mumsnet..."

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

There's a rather fabulous story in the news today, which suggests that the security services could benefit from MNers' skills. What do you think - time for us to make a [false beard] emoticon?

Yes a middle aged lady standing alone on a street corner - spy? double agent? casing the joint? - Nah, she's waiting for her DH or Ds to come along and pick her up in their car.

sweary your post is fabulous. I would gladly work for you so I can learn from you!

And we all know mums have eyes in the back of their heads-jolly useful for a spy I would think

Sorry ecumen .Hadnt read the thread when I posted

We all have code names already, of course ...

The geese are flying to Moscow early this year, that's all I'm saying.

I bet you spying these days is just stalking people on interweb. So if any of you have ever google stalked your ex- bf or your boss or random people you meet - you probably have all the right qualifications. Not me of course- I would never be that nosey.

Agent Littleham is well used to sitting in a car for hours while on reconnaissance patrols without needing to wee into a bucket.

Not me, but some people here claim to recognise NC pps from the style of writing.
That's the people you want MI5/6.

I see myself as Carrie, without the bipolar disease, but only if I get to have Damien Lewis child.

As mothers/females we are used to seeing patterns in behaviour etc. and noticing if something changes. I'd be good at that. Apart from "knowing" things with the children I knew our next door neighbour was pregnant long before she told us because her box of Tampax didn't move from her bathroom windowsill (the very small side window in our bedroom is almost directly opposite her bathroom window so visible when pulling back the curtain each morning). We also notice when emails from family or friends don't sound "right". They definitely need more women.

Osmiornica "she's just the secretary"

Or is she...?

As glamorous as it sounds; in reality it's nothing like James Bond. Long hours, complex information, wondering whether the next holdall will contain another field agent - a great way to end up in a straight jacket One mum that will not be interested. Good Luck though !

I'm going to do the pick me dance for MI5!

I have all the attributes necessary for a spy in the field. Terrorists would not be able to torture me into revealing secrets - I gave birth to 9lb13, back to back DS and survived infected episiotomy stitches, so I know what pain is. I can survive on 4 hours sleep a night for months on end and have amazing powers to find lost items.

I have a degree in International Relations and my toddler wrangling powers of persuasion are superb.

My ace skill is weeding the important details from amongst the dross. I could do this from home, quite happily, sitting on the sofa eating biscuits and drinking tea. No need to pay for an office... In these days of the structural deficit etc etc, I'd be a bargain.

No call for the leather catsuit either.

How many of you remember those immortal words '' I can see you / put that down/ get out of that biscuit barrel'' all uttered by a mother who was in another room or have you used something similar yourself. Why, because mothers are the only members of the human race with eyes up their backsides and intuitive enough to work out what you are up to before you even think of getting up to something.

Why would mothers or even grandmothers make good spies etc , because we have the uncanny knack of being pre-emptive. We can spot things before they even happen. Our observation skills are second to none and the ability to think on our feet invaluable.

The dogs and I talk to people and people talk to us.
The dogs flutter their eyelashes, people stop and next thing I know we've heard a strangers complete life story.

Anything you ever wanted to know from anyone, we can get it.

what is MI5 and MI6...what is the difference?

One is domestic affairs, and one is international.

I'd be a fantastic spy because I look so ordinary and I talk so much rubbish even if I let slip a secret, no-one would notice I had in amongst all the stuff that wasn't in the least bit important. It comes of years of talking to children..... and men......

I want to work in the MI5 building. I love it and see it every time I go up to Waterloo on the train.
But I couldn't be a spy, because I'm too mentally unstable. Apparently.

School said my son didn't have Aspergers . They said I had fii(the new name for munchausens )

Maybe we could get one of the MN spy's up hack into my file to find out what other lies have been told about me.

All over MN there are LEA's who lie, cover up and treat SN children, and parents like dirt.

Someone investigating that? Nope. Thought not.

I have a friend who works at GCHQ. She is one of my oldest friends and I have no clue what she does!

OK now I've told you that I'm going to have to shoot you all.....

I'd be no good as a spy would I. really quite glad, it looks far to dangerous

And I can lie ad lib at the drop of a hat. Believable stuff, too.

I am officially inscrutable, and am also the most trustworthy person in my office, as I am known as the keeper of all secrets. I can slip out of bed and creep around the house at night, opening and shutting doors, making midnight snacks, and even DH, the world's lightest sleeper, remains blissfully unaware.
I'm the one that you want.

10 til 2, term time only, I'm in!