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Original poster

High spend section in S&B

34 replies

MyGastIsFlabbered · 23/08/2014 07:57

I'm feeling sleep deprived & grumpy but having just looked at a thread about spending £900 on a handbag I'm feeling slightly sickened. Whilst everyone is entitled to spend their money as they wish, it makes me feel horrible (jealous, sad etc) to read about people spending way more than I earn per month on something as trivial as a handbag.

Maybe if S&B had a high spend section, us mortals could hide it & then not feel quite so bad?

OP posts:
Kundry · 23/08/2014 08:10

You can hide threads already. What would be a high spend or a bargain? How would MN define them as we all have different incomes and spending habits. Why should some people have to be hidden away?

BankHolidayRain · 23/08/2014 08:12

But everyone has something somebody else can't or might not have!
If you open a thread that upsets you, close it and / or hide it.

Original poster
MyGastIsFlabbered · 23/08/2014 08:15

You can hide sections though. And people on threads like the one I've just seen always get torn to shreds. I'm sure the posters don't mean to make people feel bad, but they do.
I don't have £900 for a handbag, never will & it makes me feel bad. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

If there was a special section people could post on there knowing they wouldn't get attacked for spending so much.

OP posts:
MrsDavidBowie · 23/08/2014 08:18

What would be the cut off point?

No I think that's totally unrealistic. Don't click on threads about £900 handbags.

StickEmAKissOnTheFish · 23/08/2014 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

13Stitches · 23/08/2014 08:22

I saw that thread.

Just after I made a recommendation to someone for £15 work trousers when it turned out they wanted to spend £300 on each outfit.

What planet are these people on?

I feel you, op.

LadyWithLapdog · 23/08/2014 08:22

I'm afraid I'm another one who disagrees. You can swear under your breath then ignore and move on. There used to be a thread on S&B all about spend, spend, spend (Vogue or something). I clicked a few times, now I ignore.

Terrierterror · 23/08/2014 08:23

I'm sorry you were upset.

I can see that a £900 bag is an extreme. It's not amount I would ever choose to spend on a bag. Where do you draw the line on 'high spend' though? For some people, spending over £60 on a bag is excessive and over £150 would be 'high spend.'

LadyintheRadiator · 23/08/2014 08:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MyGastIsFlabbered · 23/08/2014 08:28

I never said it was anyone else's fault I was upset. I know I'm not the only one who feels like that. But these sorts of threads do invoke strong feelings & it was just a suggestion. If it's not feasible then fair enough I accept that.

OP posts:
loopyarabella · 23/08/2014 08:29

Sorry, I disagree. I barely have 2 pennies to rub together, but I just ignore threads about £900 handbags and whatnot. Just like I would ignore threads about base jumping or skydiving. They simply don't interest me.

Agree that defining 'high spend' is impossible. I would balk at anything over £60 for a handbag. My in-laws are shocked at how much I pay the hairdresser (when I can afford to go). They run 2 cars (and MIL doesn't drive), I could/would never do that. We're all different.

DownByTheRiverside · 23/08/2014 08:30

I find the whole S&B section irrelevant and shallow, so I hide it.
Problem solved. If someone wants to discuss expensive stuff, or cosmetic surgery or perfumes at £450 a pop, then they should be free to do so.
There are so many people richer, cleverer and more beautiful than me it's a waste of time feeling sickened and bad and jealous.

loopyarabella · 23/08/2014 08:33

This probably sounds patronising but I don't mean it that way at all - have you considered doing things like positive affirmations about yourself? To build up self-esteem and happiness sort of thing? Because I can assure you that you are just fine as you are, with or without a pricey handbag. It makes me feel sad that you feel bad that you can't have something like that Sad. Affirmations really can help with changing your attitude, which is a good thing because it can help you to feel happier and more satisfied with what you DO have.

kahori · 23/08/2014 08:39

I could never spend £90 let alone £900 but I disagree that S&B is shallow. Fashion is just as real an interest as crafting, TV watching, camping etc. Some people, me included, enjoy shopping, discussing clothes and living vicariously through the rich, fabulous people who can afford to buy expensive clothes.

I think if you don't like a thread then hide it. Everybody has things in their lives, material or otherwise that could make someone else a little jealous. Such is life.

MarshaBrady · 23/08/2014 08:41

If people spending ££ makes you agitated just hide the thread.

DownByTheRiverside · 23/08/2014 08:42

Oh, I know it's just an opinion. Smile And I keep it to myself around people I like for whom it is a major part of their world. I have friends and relatives who spend a fortune on designer things, in the same way that we spend money on stuff they wouldn't give garage space to.
I just don't see the point in wanting someone's love of handbags to be restricted.

RubyGoat · 23/08/2014 08:43

I agree with you, Gast. I'm currently torturing myself over whether to spend about £130 on a warm winter raincoat, that will hopefully last me several years. I walk a couple of miles to work & back every day & I'm fed up of arriving at work soaked & freezing.

I just click off the threads as they irritate me. But I agree, where would people draw the line - for some people, £130 is probably a lot to consider spending on a coat, it would have been unthinkable for me a couple of years ago.

Natalia32 · 23/08/2014 08:45

Different incomes, different spending habits. What is reasonable for you may not be acceptable for a high flying lawyer or investment banker. Don't let it make you feel bad as it is not important in the big scheme of things. If you cannot help but aspire to afford these things, think of ways you can improve your income prospects, but don't waste your energy on feeling jealous.

Original poster
MyGastIsFlabbered · 23/08/2014 08:48

I'm not saying these threads shouldn't exist or that people shouldn't spend their money as they wish, just maybe it would be more tactful if these threads were less accessible. However I see it would be impossible so I shall just keep away from threads like those ones.

Re the self affirmations suggestion, I'm not really in a place where that would be helpful right now but thank you for the suggestion Smile

OP posts:
GertrudeBell · 23/08/2014 08:48

Really disagree OP.

If people get pilloried by reverse snobs when posting a single thread, can you imagine the sneering a whole topic for wealthy MNers would attract? You'd basically make them an easy target for all those who think it is acceptable to be rude to people because they have money.

Also, what's the threshold? Is £50 for a pair of trousers high spend? £100? Daft idea through and through.

Also wonder how you cope in real life when presented with people's houses, cars, holidays, kitchens? Do you shun them? I imagine not - so why not afford MNers the same basic courtesy.

Original poster
MyGastIsFlabbered · 23/08/2014 08:51

Maybe it could be a password protected area & you have to have proof of income over, say £150k to get a password Wink

Ok being facetious now, I've accepted I'm being unreasonable (I did post at the beginning I'm tired & grumpy) so can we let this die now?

OP posts:
OwlCapone · 23/08/2014 08:52

Classic case of reverse snobbery.

loopyarabella · 23/08/2014 08:52

No worries OP, it was a bit of a random suggestion considering I knew exactly ONE thing about you, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to throw it in there!

If I bought a £900 handbag (not an option anyway), it would probably get ruined scraping against the walls of the pebble-dashed stairwell in my council flat. So there's that.

Pagwatch · 23/08/2014 09:04

I don't think it is a bad thing that you raised it although as others have said it is totally unworkable.
But I think there could be more of a meeting in the middle on some threads. I sometimes see thread titles and grimace a bit. It's fine to want help finding a designer bag and I think information about your budget is necessary. But some of the thread titles are a bit crass to be honest.
It's just as easy to post 'I am looking for a high end bag - Prada and Gucci or similar. Looking for suggestions'

I don't think people need to feel awkward about their disposable income but a bit of tact wouldn't go amiss.
I don't know - its tricky. I've posted about expensive stuffing i have, holidays I've been on etc. I just think thread titles could just be a bit less in your face.

ouryve · 23/08/2014 15:39

The thought of £900 on a handbag does make me cringe. For that sort of money, I would expect something well designed, handmade, beautifully crafted, ethically sourced and for the people who made it to be paid fairly for their skills and labour - it's rare that the bags people are talking about fall into that category 100%. Given that for £900, I'd rather buy a £100 handbag (in the sale, if possible!) and a nice piece of furniture, I just stay out of those threads.

I can understand why the amounts quoted would seem obscene, or at least just plain bizarre to a lot of people.