Do you think it's time to start a sexuality shaming topic?

[HotSauceCommittee]

For all those who want us to shut up and not to help and laugh with others about sex?

Maybe we could keep the censorious ness and the comments of "what is wrong with people?"

"This is pathetic"

"Why do you need/want to talk about this?"

I've seen no "twats", either metaphorical, or literal, on the sex threads, just coherent, strong argument in favour of discussion and some great humour at times.

I notice that the anti-sex brigade didn't answer some of the rebuttals and counter questions to their protests on the sex threads. Perhaps they'd care to elaborate on a special "Sexuality shaming" thread? Then they can get together some really good insults going and hopefully make the "sex positive" posters among us shut up and creep back into the woodwork.

Has it got legs, do you think?

It's hardly a personal failing that I am not great at telling the difference between healthy and unhealthy. I like to take it at face value. Otherwise, what's the point in being on MN, looking for trolls, falsehoods and people who aren't what they seem?

Er, this is a site with mainly women on it. I'm doing very poorly if I'm supposed to be scouting about for chaps to share sex chat with on here.

If this is the farting thread we are talking about, no I wouldn't speak to someone in RL out of the blue like that. I did not know it was a troll and found it far tamer than the other thread that's still going. The thing is, if you suddenly think a bit too late "ergh this poster is not what I though they were", as I did in the past, it is so much easier to disengage, to remain anonymous. In RL, it's not so easy to disengage.

MaryZ, I have never, knowingly engaged with a troll. I'm probably as toned down as I am going to be, am far tamer than others and am a bit more careful about who I actually "speak to" by name.

It wasn't personal. I read it by title, not by NN.

HotSauceCommittee Sun 18-May-14 21:45:21
Well you did ask the question about why you got "abuse" and not BOF, so I answered it. You are nasty. On this subject at least.

Like fuck is Maryz the nasty one on this thread/subject!

You're not alone Thurlow, no.

It also pisses me off when one or two posters position themselves as Internet Security Advisors, repeating, over and over in somewhat threatening tones, that you never know who's behind a screen name and we shouldn't post anything personal at all. It's weird and creepy, not to say pompous. Anyone who genuinely gave a shit about an individual poster sharing certain details would comment specifically, at the time, on the thread - this is what usually happens. Generalised censure, pronouncements of doom, irrelevant analogies about windows, and hints of stalking posters can only come from a wish to control others afaics. I mostly use social media to discuss matters I care about personally. Others use them for different reasons: fine; this doesn't give one type of poster the right to call the other wrong/stupid/disgusting/desperate.

You're right, Thurlow, much of this thread is deeply unpleasant.

Why is it being practically bandied about as 'fact' that every sex thread attracts a troll? I honestly think the vast vast majority of people who like regular non-fetish sex and are looking to knock one out on the internet will go to access a porn site, do their business and go to sleep. Very few I imagine will traipse MN looking for stories about rumpy pumpy.

As a pp pointed out the type of people who often are trolls are those who can't get their kicks from porn sites because what they are turned on by is not the norm - bed wetting, breast feeding, birth stories, poo stories - and MN will be a paradise for them, as no one seems to have an issue over sharing with those types of topics (and no one wades in to say "careful now ladies in case there's a creepy fucker knocking one out over this)".

It seems to me though that only the sex posters are getting blame for attracting these types of trolls, and being warned to tone it down and that they will bring the site into disrepute if they continue. This is not helpful in the least. But I bet my bottom dollar there's more men wanking over stories of lactation than stories of regular sex. Either way, we'll never know the true numbers, and we can only guess and assume.

I think the ultimate lesson is if people want to over share anything be aware that someone may be laughing/wanking/criticising you, and if you have a problem with this then think long and hard about what you post. If this doesn't bother you, fine, go ahead, there may be consequences to that, there may not be. FWIW I don't think anyone has said they willingly play into the hands of trolls that they know are trolls. I didn't know the embarrassing sex stories person was a troll. A touch of naïvety mixed with the fact that it was a few pages long Therefore appeared legit.

I think another lesson is: if you do wish to single out the over sharers of sex only, and not any other topic, and call them all manner of names then expect them to be wound up by this, accuse you of sex shaming and then ask yourself why it's only the sex threads you target when you reprimand posters in this way.

It's ok, you've won. I'll be dereging in a day or two. Just one request; please don't use my previous NN if I happen to pop up in conversation.

Maryz such as? How can you prove as fact?

You want to fulfill some sadsacks's fantasy? Go right ahead.

Who has said they want to do this?

Would you say this to someone posting about bras?

You want to fulfill some sadsacks's fantasy? Go right ahead. Who has said they want to do this?

That's exactly what baffles me about this repetitive argument, Chippy. If the sad sack gets off on something I've posted, this doesn't mean I'm posting specifically for his purpose (as if!!!) It means he's a sad sack. That's all.

It's equally baffling that some posters believe it's a particular problem with threads about sex ... As you rightly posted above, they can get sex talk anywhere. Mumsnet's far more likely to attract hairy-hands who get off on breastfeeding or baby poo.

Or shoes! Do you know how common the shoe fetish is? Go an issue dire warnings all over S&B!!!

... no, don't! If we censored every topic that has fetishists, Mumsnet would be a blank page.

FGS, blame the perverts not the posters!

Posts don't cause perverts. Like clothes don't cause rape.

Any topic IS, Satan. If you aren't aware about this, I envy you a life far removed from humanity's seedy side.