Cash Crisis/MN Handouts

[BawdyStrumpet]

Sorry if I am speaking out of turn, but recently I have noticed a rash of cash crisis threads. I know that times are hard for many, but I do worry where the line is drawn on MN between venting, asking for budgeting advice, and begging. Lovely MNetters do step in to help out I know. But I really, really think we need to have some rules on this. ie it is maybe it is fine to donate clothes/school uniform etc and help out where we can. Otherwise people should seriously be discouraged from sending cash/shopping to people they don't know from Adam.

If these posters are on benefits, they might even get into trouble for receiving cash payments. Or, posters can have threads deleted so you might not realise they have already had several threads asking for similar. If people get a whiff that there is profit to made, there will only be more and more of these threads. I hate the idea that kind hearted MNetters get taken advantage of.

I have no issue with donations to genuine charities ie via Just Giving, or collections for Woolly Hugs, but I really do think that MN should not be about handing over cold hard cash to people on the internet. I am sure that this kind of thing was never intended when MN was set up...

Have had someone offer cash to me but wouldn't take it. When dh was first dx with cancer a lovely mnetter sent him a mp3 which was lovely.
I think most mnetters know who is a begging so and so and who has fallen on hard times. I still like to believe that most people are good and a few are just evil.

noddy
I have to say I have sent things in the past and never received so much as a thank you

I don't think it's a good idea really for donations of money to change hands on Mumsnet for whatever reason. Because if it becomes known it is a place where people can get money won't this encourage some people who may not be genuine to make up a hard luck story.

Probably best to stick to people you 'know'

I've donated on another site to someone who was £1500 short on her flights home to see her dad for the last time. I honestly didn't mind that as she's such a lovely lady who deserved this chance for her children to see grandpa one last time.

Yet other times the money to help buy a child some birthday money went on vodka. The other time money raised to pay bills and a camera and iPad were purchased instead.

But how do you know what it was spent on?

Groove how did you find out what it went on?

Yes, Hope, I pointed that out and so have others.

I've offered someone money but was refused. I have to admit i'd love it if there was a mumsnet fund that I could donate to that would help those in need. I don't think it'd be possible though.

Both of the stupid women posted on the forum one said "Bought a second hand console as it gave me some money for my voddie to have on their birthday!" and the other one admitted she ha bought an ipad with the money to "treat herself!" then a few weeks later dropped herself in it with the new camera. This was when she couldn't even afford a funeral for her partner.

I think the key is not giving more than you can afford to lose. It's no good giving if you'll feel upset if it turns out you haven't given it to Mother Teresa. If you want to give, give freely and when it's done, it's done. If you can't give on that basis then don't at all. I've donated to a few blankets. I do so on the assumption that it's spent on the blanket but if in fact the knitting ladies are living it up on caviar - well it's no skin off my nose

a mumsnet fund would be awful and open to abuse.

It also would open MNHQ up to having to register and operate as a charity. Or at least have a charity subdivision.

I think we are all responsible for our own actions on MN.

I'm not happy about MNHQ or anyone else telling me what to do tbh.

Oi! NorthernLurker! Caviar

As heartless as this sounds but I live by the same idea as my mother and father and believe you look after your own (meaning family and very very close friends) otherwise I would never offer money to people as it not the done thing. xx

yummy - as applicable to internet acquaintanceships that sounds like an eminently sensible rule to me, not heartless at all. I'm in the strongly discourage cash gifts/"loans" nanny state camp here, as in my time on various parenting forums I've seen whip rounds go pearshaped too many times. Second hand/barely used clothes/toys/books being gifted is a different kettle of fish.

Knotty - of course that's not the case. I just mentioned it because for me it's the act of giving that's important. I make assumptions about what happens to the money but I don't need proof iyswim.

S'ok, I know what you mean