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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Cash Crisis/MN Handouts

125 replies

BawdyStrumpet · 21/05/2012 22:50

Sorry if I am speaking out of turn, but recently I have noticed a rash of cash crisis threads. I know that times are hard for many, but I do worry where the line is drawn on MN between venting, asking for budgeting advice, and begging. Lovely MNetters do step in to help out I know. But I really, really think we need to have some rules on this. ie it is maybe it is fine to donate clothes/school uniform etc and help out where we can. Otherwise people should seriously be discouraged from sending cash/shopping to people they don't know from Adam.

If these posters are on benefits, they might even get into trouble for receiving cash payments. Or, posters can have threads deleted so you might not realise they have already had several threads asking for similar. If people get a whiff that there is profit to made, there will only be more and more of these threads. I hate the idea that kind hearted MNetters get taken advantage of.

I have no issue with donations to genuine charities ie via Just Giving, or collections for Woolly Hugs, but I really do think that MN should not be about handing over cold hard cash to people on the internet. I am sure that this kind of thing was never intended when MN was set up...

OP posts:
doormat · 22/05/2012 11:48

rabbits but you obviously need it..it is important for you to use the internet and phone...for me i can walk, drive go to shops, bank etc...use mil's phone to pay bills(which i pay for calls)..
as for tv ...we hardly watch it...speaking of which there is a 50in here...i have just spied it..not hard to spot...that may be next on list...Grin only joking...

LowRegNumber · 22/05/2012 12:07

Surely we are not stupid enough to think that sending money to an unknown over the internet is not going to lead to being fleeced at some point? Why should we get to abdicate responsibility and place it on hq? If hq pop up and place warnings on threads they risk being seen as responsible in some way and are open to "but hq I was fleeced because you didn't put the warning up so I thought you were indicating they were genuine" when actually the towers had just nipped out for a sneaky g&t.

There have been more than enough cases of long standing posters turning out to be trolls that there should be a healthy sense of cynicism about money changing hands. If you choose to try and help you do it as an adult at your own risk. It is pretty basic stuff really, you wouldn't lend to ssomeone you met at a bus stop so why do it here?

doormat · 22/05/2012 12:18

bawdy i totally
b) Posters who want to moan about money then get suspected/accused of doing so in search of handouts - and I think there are some genuine venters, and some who know exactly what they are doing.agree ...

Original poster
BawdyStrumpet · 22/05/2012 12:30

It shouldn't need warnings on threads - just a blanket statement that money should not be sent on here.

OP posts:
HopeForTheBest · 22/05/2012 12:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

doormat · 22/05/2012 12:48

can anyone else remember the incident years back...well before 2005...when posted gave out sob story about needing food....and think she bought a pram with the money...it pissed alot of mnetters off at the time and caused a huge stink

Pinot · 22/05/2012 12:56

I think it also needs mentioning that some threads about lack of money can be misinterpreted as a potential begging thread, and that's really not fair to the OP. I understand that history tells it's own story and that people have been sucked in in the past, but sometimes too much cynicism is actually very hurtful to new OP's that just wanted to moan.

I'm not sure I've explained that very well.

Tee please don't bollock me mate if I haven't :o

Tee2072 · 22/05/2012 12:57

But why shouldn't money be sent on here, although, as Hope says, it's not sent on here. It's sent by various means that have nothing to do with MN except the poster implied a need and people responded on here.

In any case, why shouldn't I send money if I want to? It's my money.

AgentProvocateur · 22/05/2012 13:02

I think we're all adults, and we don't really need "rules" about who we do or don't give money to. It's just the same as in RL. I often give to city centre junkies who ask me for "ten pence for a coffee", even though I know they'll buy drugs or alcohol. I never give to the eastern europeans who kneel with their hands out and their head down.

Here, I often give to well known posters who are having a hard time. I don't care what they spend the money on. But I never give to people whose lives are a series of car crashes, because I know it won't be long before they're back hinting for more.

Hope that doesn't make me sound too hard hearted - all I'm trying to say is that it's our choice and we all make judgements then do what we think fit c

doormat · 22/05/2012 13:03

lol pinot i understand what you mean

tee i agree it is your choice, whether you send money or not...but where does it actually stop...would it be every poster with a sob story or would it be the case where there would be a race to have the skintest, hard up post....

i honestly wouldnt like any mnetter to feel they would be ripped off/ feel obligated etc

KatieMiddleton · 22/05/2012 13:09

I think there's a big difference between choosing to send money/goods to somebody who has no history of being disingenuous and sending money/goods to a poster who has ripped people off before.

We make decisions based on the available information. If I sent something and got burnt I'd think that would be my responsibility. BUT if I sent something and got burnt and it turned out it had happened to 3 other posters before I would be annoyed because that's preventable.

The same with any other trolling. We act in good faith on the boards but where someone is known to have form for trolling we expect MNHQ to intervene to protect people from being hurt. If this applies emotionally why not to material things?

Posting on the board "KatieMiddleton didn't honour her end of a swap arrangement despite promising she would send the Shimmer Brick and it's been 3 months but despite regular contact still no item" is, IMO, likely to cause huge trouble and upset. We don't know if a poster's been ill or had her account hijacked or anything. If nobody says anything then those who are disingenuous continue to get away with it. So yes, I would like to know if this is covered by the current trolling guidelines.

I quite agree with Pinot that there should be an assumption posters are genuine unless proved otherwise - but that requires some sort of process for establishing who is genuine and who isn't.

HopeForTheBest · 22/05/2012 13:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

Pinot · 22/05/2012 13:12

I love Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick btw.

HopeForTheBest · 22/05/2012 13:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

Ishoes · 22/05/2012 13:14

I would never give to anyone on here-sorry if that sounds harsh but words on a screen etc-am happy to give advice or point posters in the direction of help.

There was a poster last yearI think who unashamedly came on looking for cash-help me I think was the pleaHmm and I believe got quite a lot of money. She then was imo extremely ungracious about the help she had received and banned anyone from referring to it-againHmm

But like someone else pointed out-a fool and there money and all that....

KatieMiddleton · 22/05/2012 13:15

Yes I really want one Pinot!

Please post all unwanted and unused Bobbi Brown Shimmer Bricks (pref the brown/goldie one) to: Katie Middleton, The Scrounge, Freeloadsville.

OhNoMyFanjo · 22/05/2012 13:56

You can't tell adults that they cant send money, tge same as anything else. Mn is clear, if you want to its up to you but please don't put yourself in hardship if you choose to do so.

OhNoMyFanjo · 22/05/2012 13:58

I thought I'd replied on this earlier, basically saying peopke should be able to vent and not be thought of begging.

Tee2072 · 22/05/2012 14:15

" i agree it is your choice, whether you send money or not...but where does it actually stop...would it be every poster with a sob story or would it be the case where there would be a race to have the skintest, hard up post...."

Why does it even have to start? I would never, like Ishoes, send money to a MNetter that I hadn't actually met in person and knew for a fact was having trouble. This has nothing to do with the fact I'm skint myself (PM me for my bank details, if you'd like Grin) but with the fact that you don't know the people on MN who you haven't actually met in person. You may think you do. But you don't.

And before someone gives me a Hmm or anything thinking I'm a cynical old caah, it's true, I am, but this cynical old caah also met her now husband for the first time at San Francisco International Airport after speaking on the internet to him for less than a year. 2 years after that I moved, bag and bagged, from Berkeley to Belfast. So I know it's possible to make friends on the 'net. That still doesn't mean you should send them money.

Pinot, luffily, you made perfect sense. Not bollocking from me. THIS TIME! Grin

Pinot · 22/05/2012 14:17

yeahhhhhhhh! :o

Tee2072 · 22/05/2012 14:19

I forgot to say that I think it's fairly obvious who is venting and who is begging.

"Help me spread my £10 to next Tuesday so we can eat, here's what's in my cupboards and fuck does this suck" is very different from "I have no money. Now what do I do?"

At least to me.

doormat · 22/05/2012 14:26

tee would love to send you bank detail, but am probably overdrawn lmfao Grin

OhNoMyFanjo · 22/05/2012 14:32

I'm not sure that it is the case of we know who is 'begging' what am I allowed to moan about before I get told I am begging? If I complain it's my birthday and not even a card from dh and tge kids cause we can't afford it? That I have a new job starting but I am embrassed to go because my clothes are far too big as I have lost so much weight and I can't afford to buy more? That I am already worrying about dd starting school in sept because I will have to buy her a uniform?

noddyholder · 22/05/2012 14:35

I have been stung in the past and was actually about to send something to someone again and am now having doubts Sad

Tee2072 · 22/05/2012 14:38

You're allowed to moan about anything. No one is saying you can't moan.

And people can send you money or not send you money depending on their own ideals and circumstances.

What I am 100% objecting to is the idea that it has anything to do with MNHQ or that they should have spreadsheet!