Cash Crisis/MN Handouts

[BawdyStrumpet]

Sorry if I am speaking out of turn, but recently I have noticed a rash of cash crisis threads. I know that times are hard for many, but I do worry where the line is drawn on MN between venting, asking for budgeting advice, and begging. Lovely MNetters do step in to help out I know. But I really, really think we need to have some rules on this. ie it is maybe it is fine to donate clothes/school uniform etc and help out where we can. Otherwise people should seriously be discouraged from sending cash/shopping to people they don't know from Adam.

If these posters are on benefits, they might even get into trouble for receiving cash payments. Or, posters can have threads deleted so you might not realise they have already had several threads asking for similar. If people get a whiff that there is profit to made, there will only be more and more of these threads. I hate the idea that kind hearted MNetters get taken advantage of.

I have no issue with donations to genuine charities ie via Just Giving, or collections for Woolly Hugs, but I really do think that MN should not be about handing over cold hard cash to people on the internet. I am sure that this kind of thing was never intended when MN was set up...

oh no, who has had their hand out this time? No don't answer that, best not

I agree, folk need to remember that all is not as it seems on the internettie

Offer advice freely, but please think hard, very hard before handing over your hard-earned cash

I agree. I once posted for advice because I was really, really strapped for cash once, and I got offers via PM. I turned them down, with loads of thanks, but I was horrified that people might have thought I was on the scrounge.

There are lots of posters here who offer fantastic advice on budgeting. britta, if there was no element of handout, just advice, noone would ever be able to accuse anyone of scrounging. That's how it should be.

I understand your concerns totally and agree. But after reading the skint thread I have offered some items on the offering thread. Personally I felt it was better that some of those people who are really struggling were helped and if that meant a few chancers getting a few freebies then so be it. Things are tight for us as a family but we are not desperate and I can't imagine what the genuine posters are going through.

The other reason to help is that MNet is a community to me, it is something I am part of. I have received invaluable help over the last few years and I wanted to give something back and if that means I lose a few pound to someone who doesnt deserve it then I am prepared to take that chance. I dont go out anymore because I Mnet all the time so I have probably saved a few pound already thanks to you lot

Hi there
Thanks for raising this. I'm pretty tired so forgive me if I quote the much more eloquent Helen Mumsnet on this one:

@HelenMumsnet

And re giving money to other posters: while we are glad to see that the OP here has quite clearly posted that she is not asking for financial help, it may be helpful to repeat our general warning about this: "We do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare."

Thanks MNHQ

Thanks Olivia- I think that warning is good, and should be allowed to be linked to by posters on threads which veer into Dickensian territory.

The only thing I would take issue with, a bit, is the can "afford to spare" part. It may seem like nitpicking, but even if someone can afford to 'lose' the money, they may still have been fleeced, and it doesn't mean that it went to a deserving cause. And it might mean, of course, that they don't then have the money to give to something genuine. So it's never really a victimless crime, if that doesn't sound too melodramatic.

I agree with Boffles, just because you can "spare" cash it doesn't mean you deserve to be fleeced of it. I know that someone set up a "I have x that I don't need" thread. Surely that is a better way to help people?

I hate threads where OPs talk in despair, say they're only asking for advice, none of the advice works for them and then money is offered and bank account numbers supplied to make donations easier (disclaimer: haven't read any 'begging threads' for months, so this is a general point).

BUT nobody is compelled to give money.nobody is being 'fleeced'. Perhaps emotionally manipulated, but they still have to take an active decision. I don't think you can set a rule,tbh.

I agree that we need some kind of continuity on this. I have been very fortunate in the past, and MNers have kindly donated to help me see a particular consultant. but, I didnt ask for it. and a thread about how scared I was to be pregnant again, that ended in miscarriage is different to a thread stating that you only have a tenner to last a week, no electricity, no food in the house, 6 kids to feed and nothing that mners suggest will work.

mners are kind, we pull together. sadly, some posters know this and use it to their financial advantage. and its been happening for years TWR, anyone?

I just think a clear message that money should not change hands AT ALL (apart from MN sanctioned causes) would be better. That makes it really clear, and then posters can vent all they like with the clear expectation that they will not be offered handouts.

I agree Bawdy.

I hate this, we are ADULTS, this is a more or less self moderated site, if I want to send money/stuff to someone thats my choice.

We dont/shouldnt need mumsnet to protect us from ourselves.

Its just another example of how people are getting used to living in a nanny state with successive governments who want to protect us from taking responsibility for ourselves and our actions and decisions.

I hav enoticed this happeneing. In fact a couple of eyarsago i poste don here how angry I was that my DBro hadn't loaned me £50 and 2 Mnetters messaged me and said they would hlep out, on the basis I'd been here for 5 years and they "knew" me. i turned them down politely.

Hwoever there does seem to be more and more newer psters asking for help, then ignoring all advice on practicla thing shtey can do.

But exacty Saltire, Im not saying I dont raise eyebrows and think cynical thoughts, but mumsnet cant police/control it, any more than they can protect us from Nigerian scammers.

Then we will have the "this thread doesnt belong here" thread police all over things.

Exactly what Whatnamethistime said.

If an adult wants to send money, it is no ones business or problem but that person's. If they get fleeced, also their business.

Beaks out, all of you. Just this once, FFS.

Have just thought something, no I have never posted for help of the financial kind.

"But I really, really think we need to have some rules on this. ie it is maybe it is fine to donate clothes/school uniform etc and help out where we can. Otherwise people should seriously be discouraged from sending cash/shopping to people they don't know from Adam."

People can donate what they want. They simply should be aware that the cause may not be genuine.

We don't need nannying.

I'm more than happy to donate good's that I no longer have a use for. It's the cash donations that don't sit well with me.

Yes really, I get fed up of people trying to protect us from ourselves.

"And likening this to the nanny state? Really? "

Yes, really. People will soon be incapable of making decisions for themselves.

If there was an outright ban on cash donations it wouldnt stop genuine mumsnetters coming to vent because like they say, they don't want help in that way.
But if it becomes the norm that offers of help will not happen would it not put off trolls from trying their luck because they know they won't get anywhere.

Total Nanny State if you need MNHQ to tell you to not donate you can't afford, or even money you can afford.

Be an adult. Take responsibility for your own decisions. If you get suckered, you're a sucker.