Cash Crisis/MN Handouts

[BawdyStrumpet]

Sorry if I am speaking out of turn, but recently I have noticed a rash of cash crisis threads. I know that times are hard for many, but I do worry where the line is drawn on MN between venting, asking for budgeting advice, and begging. Lovely MNetters do step in to help out I know. But I really, really think we need to have some rules on this. ie it is maybe it is fine to donate clothes/school uniform etc and help out where we can. Otherwise people should seriously be discouraged from sending cash/shopping to people they don't know from Adam.

If these posters are on benefits, they might even get into trouble for receiving cash payments. Or, posters can have threads deleted so you might not realise they have already had several threads asking for similar. If people get a whiff that there is profit to made, there will only be more and more of these threads. I hate the idea that kind hearted MNetters get taken advantage of.

I have no issue with donations to genuine charities ie via Just Giving, or collections for Woolly Hugs, but I really do think that MN should not be about handing over cold hard cash to people on the internet. I am sure that this kind of thing was never intended when MN was set up...

I think posting a warning is often a good idea. If a poster does it then it looks like they may be crying troll when they're actually crying caution.

After that it's up to people to do what they like.

However, if there was a situation where a swap had been agreed - like on the current beauty swap thread in S&B - but one party didn't honour the bargain, can we have a process for notifying MNHQ please? It may be a bit awkward to say on the thread "I sent KatieMiddleton a brand new Clarins body lotion but she never sent my Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick and it's been 3 months!" and there is no way of knowing if that poster has not honoured their promise just once or 30 times.

Hypothetical situation of course. I would never part with a BB Shimmer Brick.

Honestly, isn't this why the Secret Santa was started? To stop people randomly sending people stuff?

And, again, Katie, I think if you agree a swap and you don't get your swap, it's you're tough luck. What exactly do you want MNHQ to do? This isn't school!!

No nee to be quite so arsey Tee. I'm not asking the big girls to step in and make the non-swapper honour the deal - I agree you take the hit. That's what i implied by it being up to people to do what they like - they bear the consequences. But, if we have somebody behaving inappropriately in another way on the board there's a process for informing MNHQ. Surely doing nothing and allowing a situation like that to happen again to someone else is irresponsible?

Any way I was only asking

Have posted in the past in dire situations for general support or advice, and I would hate to think anyone thought I was trying to con people into giving me money, especially as I have turned down some very kind offers to help in that way as it doesn't feel right to accept it. Feel a bit about posting now if there might be people accusing me of trying to do people out of things, got enough on the old plate without adding that sort of stress.

Kind of sad that it even happens, and that people are so suspicious of it happening that they want some sort of regulations to stop it happening at all.

there have always been posters who use mn as their bank, you can't change that, as long as the posters who are sending are aware that they might be conned, what can you do?

I see what you mean KatieMiddleton, like adding a strike against a name so that if there is continual reporting of such behaviour, Mumsnet can warn, and indeed ban the user for being a sort of troll.

i remember years ago on mn there was a woman who ripped alot of ppl off on here with her sob story...which turned out to be false....though mn would of learnt through that as it caused a hell of a stink

Oh okay. So asking MNHQ to keep a 'master list' of who hasn't sent something they said they would send isn't at all Nanny State. Because, you know, things never get lost in the post, forgotten about, people's computers never die so they can't come back and update. It obviously a deliberate attempt to get something for nothing.

Silly me.

Yes that sort of thing Rabbits. I don't want to stop the swap threads - I've had some brilliant stuff and been pleased to give unwanted things to people who would appreciate them.

I find the idea of PMs being sent and posters self-policing these matters a bit uncomfortable. I prefer to think there's just been a mix up or something extraordinary has happened. MNHQ can do the troll hunting dectective work.

X-posted with you Tee.

Do I really come across as being the sort of poster who thinks the worst of people? I try not too.

To. Too many oos

Netmums has a huge second hand part - I got well ripped off - I don't see that as their problem - it was mine and the sellers.

It's down to individual choices - there is nothing for HQ to do or that they can do - there are thousands of posters, threads, they can monitor everyone - that's why it is self moderated.

Are posters really asking Mumsnet to police the boards because they aren't sensible enough to look put for themselves.

imo if you can afford an internet connection..you can afford food....it is about priorities...i have had to go without internet connection for a couple of months at a time...1. because i couldnt afford the bill. 2. sorting my family out was more important than facebook et al....

Yes, actually, you do Katie, if you want to have a special 'report to MNHQ because someone didn't do what they said they do' section or button or code or whatever.

Really, if someone is a serial non-swapper (bad term, but I'm sure you know what I mean) won't that be mentioned on board? And shouldn't it be mentioned on board?

Then again, MNHQ are being so weird about what constitutes troll hunting at the moment, perhaps that would be considered troll hunting!

I don't want the policing, but I do think that if it was a pattern of behaviour over a long period of time to rip people off, that some method of keeping track might be a useful thing. So not immediately accusing them of being up to no good, because of course there are all sorts of things that can happen that might lead to things not going as intended, but if someone is name changing and taking advantage of people regularly, I would call it a form of trolling and MN do tend to take responsibility for that side of thing. Perhaps they already do do that KateMiddleton, or a form of close to it any way, via the Report function?

doormat

I have elucidated many people on reasons a person might well have internet and not be better off for cancelling it.

For one, I am disabled and do the majority of my shopping online, therefore I can be skint, but I need the internet or I become entirely stranded at home.

For another, many people have contracts they have gotten into which leave them worse off if they cancel it, even if their situation turns for the worse.

And lastly, I view it as a utility bill, do we tell people to stop having a phone or gas or electricity because they are hard up? It's often a necessity and without it leaves many worse off for many reasons.

Maybe Rabbits but I'm not 100% sure so thought I'd ask. I expect MNHQ will be back later so I'll find out then :)

rabbits that is why i said imo...of course there are other ppl have valid reasons just like you...but there are others who piss take....and yes when my internet has gone..my phone has gone too...the internet and phone are one of the least of my priorities...food comes before them in my household

all my jewellery has been pawned...i am not sad i did it because i knew we were going to have a few bills paid and a full cupboard...i priortise what is important in my household....and btw dh and i were both working ft ...minimum wage crap pay yes...

ps i am deffo not begging...just want to reiterate what my priorities to my family are in my opinion xxx

I think it's nuts not having a phone or internet at all, how do you pay your bills or manage your money? What about emergencies? I couldn't manage at all, I have to have a phone within reach most of the time (being stuck in the bath without one sucks!), the majority of my life is organised online, through banking, shopping, finding special offers, finding work, news etc. Would get rid of my TV before it came to getting rid of my internet.

lmfao @ soupy

I am not advocating any nanny state like situation. I just think that this is talk board, not a charity. Condoning donations is a double-edged sword imho.

a) If people see posters getting financial help here, it will make some more likely to try their own sob story.

b) Posters who want to moan about money then get suspected/accused of doing so in search of handouts - and I think there are some genuine venters, and some who know exactly what they are doing.