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Who else is fed up with swearing on MN?

498 replies

ByJingoes · 10/10/2011 16:36

I have been trying to have this discussion on another thread, but don't want to hijack it further.

I am thoroughly sick of excessive swearing on MN. I am sick of encountering posters with sweary names (not least because I have to hide MN as soon as the children come into the room).

MNHQ, could you please look at this again? Every time I mention this on threads, I am told that I have a cat's bum face (which is immensely irritating) and to eff off to Nethuns - yet I loathe the huggy/kissy/hunny stuff, and detest moderation. We are all adults and don't need to be censored. However, part of being an adult surely means having some consideration for other people too?

Here is Justine in May 2005:

"Hi all,
We've had a few complaints about obscene language on the boards. Our policy on this is that we would appreciate it if people would keep foul and abusive language to a minimum and that if you feel it necessary to swear to make your point then use asterisks please [...] we don't want to be over-prudish about this - we're not talking minor offenses here - and sometimes (parking attendant, gp receptionist annecdotes etc etc) we agree that nothing else but a swear word will do but it's a fair point that lots of members look at mumsnet with kids who may be early readers at their side and as the saying goes... less is more sometimes, so if you could use your discretion it would be much appreciated.

Ta very much."

That seems eminently sensible - but MN seems to have somehow slithered into a site for sweary people only.

Am I the only person who is utterly fed up with it?

OP posts:
lemonbalm · 11/10/2011 11:58

And: "if anything I have posted has made you feel bullied" - the classic Labour party get-out for anything. Not admitting bullying - oh no - just if someone is feeble enough to feel bullied, then (sigh) they have to be apologised to.

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 11/10/2011 11:58

did you miss all the posts where everyone said sorry to to OP for anything they said which made her feel bullied then?

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 11/10/2011 11:59

no , I think they meant they hadn't INTENDED to bully her and felt bad she felt bullied. The only thing that would appease you if they said "SORRY I BULLIED YOU"..but they didn't, not intentionally

AitchTwoOh · 11/10/2011 11:59

not everyone, lemon, to be fair. quite a few apols to the OP.

lemonbalm · 11/10/2011 11:59

Exactly.

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 11/10/2011 12:00

and my first post was x-posted there. Anyway off to work.

lemonbalm · 11/10/2011 12:00

X post. "Feeling bullied" Hmm

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 11/10/2011 12:01

"feeling bullied" when people are not intentionally meaning to upset you..fair enough. People said they were sorry for making her feel crap, what more do you want, their blood?

lemonbalm · 11/10/2011 12:02

The main difficulty about bullies is getting them to take responsibility for their actions.

Which means not blaming the person being bullied.

And saying, yes, my behaviour was wrong.

Blimey, this is basic stuff.

SayGhoulNowSayWitch · 11/10/2011 12:02
FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 11/10/2011 12:03

saying someone "felt bullied" and apologising for their actions is hardly blaming the victim though?

I really do need to go to work. I don't believe anyone on this thread meant to bully the OP and they were sorry if their words made her feel like that, and said so. Why make it into something more?

FanjoForTheMuahahammaries · 11/10/2011 12:04

adds a Hmm in for good measure and runs to catch bus

VampiresWearBlackVelvet · 11/10/2011 12:10

I can only apologise when I feel I've done something wrong.

I have not bullied the OP (or you Aitch - I don't believe we've ever been on the same thread bar this one ) I didn't ask the OP if she felt bullied either.

I'm sure if the OP has taken exception to anything I've said then she would mention it to me.

Then, I would have a different situation on my hands and deal with it appropriately.

I do hope this doesn't turn out to be a war of words though. :)

SayGhoulNowSayWitch · 11/10/2011 12:12
QuickLookBusy · 11/10/2011 12:15

Agree with Hully's last post

Some people swear.

Some people don't.

No one can insist that THEY are correct and the other side is wrong.

I enjoy a good sweary session occasionally and sometimes when life is really shit, it makes me feel better in rl too.

AitchTwoOh · 11/10/2011 12:23

oh, agree totally. but if someone's come on expressly to say that the current level of swearing makes them uncomfortable, then clearly the cuntish thing to do is swear at her, there is no two ways about that.

i love swearing, btw, albeit not in names and thread titles just cos it's a bit uncalled-for, but if someone said 'i am uncomfortable when people comment on my big nose' and everyone went 'why's that, noseybonk?' i think you would agree that was Not Nice. Grin

BecauseImWorthIt · 11/10/2011 12:25

WTF?

And: "if anything I have posted has made you feel bullied" - the classic Labour party get-out for anything. Not admitting bullying - oh no - just if someone is feeble enough to feel bullied, then (sigh) they have to be apologised to.

I really, really, resent this. This was my apology to the OP. I have not posted anything on this thread that was intended to be bullying. I despise bullying, in any shape or form. Therefore if ByJingoes had felt bullied by anything I had said, I do apologise to her. Why on earth this would be construed as a 'get out for anything' is actually very insulting.

LauraIngallsWilder · 11/10/2011 12:27

FWIW I wouldn't want censorship or banning of swearing either - just a bit less of the juvenile swearing just for fun, or just because people think it makes them look well'ard (am reminded of a certain Eastenders dog!)
Aitch -mwah you are the voice of reason on this thread :) (am sucking up obviously)

BupcakesandHaunting · 11/10/2011 12:28

OP reminds me a lot of

SayGhoulNowSayWitch · 11/10/2011 12:29

"but if someone's come on expressly to say that the current level of swearing makes them uncomfortable, then clearly the cuntish thing to do is swear at her, there is no two ways about that. "

Fair enough. I apologise expressly for being a cunt.

BupcakesandHaunting · 11/10/2011 12:33

I do agree with Aitch's point about swearing at the non-sweary person.

On the last thread I was on like this, I very nicely tried to explain why swearing shouldn't bother anyone really cos like, it's all just words and that, I got short shrift for my bother. And I didn't even type so much as a bloody or crap.

I just think that, on a site where there are a lot of rude arseholes, there are bigger fish to fry than the occasional eff or jeff. I've been reduced to a jellified wreck after being rounded upon with no swear words. One can be simply vaile with no swears. I'd rather have a "Bupcakes you daft twat" aimed at me than a "Do fuck off, dearie Hmm." It's all abaht ver context innit?

AitchTwoOh · 11/10/2011 12:36

Hah! Grin see? that's not excessive. that's pointed and funny.

AitchTwoOh · 11/10/2011 12:37

precisely, bupcakes. which is why i personally don't like it when it has no context ie in a person's name. Wink

SayGhoulNowSayWitch · 11/10/2011 12:40

:o I try.....

BupcakesandHaunting · 11/10/2011 12:41

Oops that should have been "Off you trot, deaerie Hmm" or similar ascerbic putdown.

It does have context. There is back story to it. A MN back story that I have explained lots and lots of times before. I like my name. I don't think that I am a right bastard in my posting style (I certainly can be, but only when necessary) and I think that is what counts. So I'll keep it, ta muchly.

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