What is the point of the AIBU section?

[Flighttattendant]

It's been around for a while now and anyone can see it's become really gladiatorial.

It's frankly an absolute pit...it's dreadful.

I have had it hidden for months now which makes my personal MN a lovely place to be, but as soon as I venture into that topic I find myself wanting to leave the whole site.

There must be some way to offload it surely...why not have it as a spin off site, separate from MN? The thing is, many people who come here will see all the nonsense of it in active convos and likely be put off completely if they have any sensitivity whatsoever.

I think it's a disgrace and brings us all into disrepute. In fact I used to recommend MN to all and sundry, but now I am ashamed to because of AIBU being such an apparently popular and sizeable part of the site.

I don't know what to do about that. The rest of the place is pretty balanced. But it's like Jeremy Kyle Corner.

Oh God yes I've been on there SM, it's terrifying to be on the wrong end of.

I enjoy a good rant as much as anyone but not at someone else's expense and it ALWAYS is at someone's expense.

I used to fantasise about being able to beat up the kids who teased me, without it being wrong, without damage or hurt being cause by my aggression...but of course that's impossible.

AIBU seems to advocate this aggression but the cost to the OP or whoever bears the brunt is conveniently overlooked.

I like some of the aibu when the op is being tongue in cheek / light hearted or the ones where the op really does need advice and want different mindsets on a incident, but they only run until some moron comes on and has a go at everyone for having a giggle at absolutely nothing offensive or if it is one where the op genuinely wants to know peoples mindsets is ruined by some saying

"your a nob for posting this here, and I an going to be a shit to everyone on here as this is aibu".

The fact that a majority of healthy minded individuals don't post there now is probably why it is getting worse.

And I loathe people trying to turn every thread into a aibu to the best of there ability you can see them coming a mile away.

that true of many mn topics.seen savaging on feminist and,feeding topic. the uninitiated who post asking about good nursery baby room only to be berated why leave your child with reprobates who arent mummy

aibu is quite candid, and that candour is the pleasure/pain of it.it even has a wee warning too

could be argued any post taking an oppositional stance could be harmful to someone.doesn't mean people will never slug it out about private schools.even if someone gets upset

Honeydragon I'm pleased to assist!

You're right about many of the sensible people not going there (no offence SM!)

I guess this is the clinical course of most of these concepts. It starts off being a joke, then some rather odd people get wind of it and begin to use it nefariously, then the good guys start to enjoy the basic freedom to be really, really rude, then some of the other good guys don't go there any more leaving it very much to the bloody minded and the really bloody odd.

It degenerates into a proper mess after that.

I did once liken it to a brawling room at a pub, and I stand by that.

oh stop with all the faux-moral high ground about aibu.so none of you ever posted on or written contentious topic that got folk goin.is it all hugs and affirmation on mn for you?nah not convinced

Cross posts...yes, there will ALWAYS be discord on every board. But AIBU licenses it, licenses the shoot to kill ethos.

Can you see the difference?

I really dislike that sort of thing. False contention and so on, it's a game, a silly, gamey game and no, I don't take part if I can help it.

As I said in the OP it's like Jeremy Kyle.

Awful.

you are selectively picking aibu as only place there is dischord. seen some right scraps on on plenty other topics.where one could argue posters dont expect it.aibu is at least flagged up as a frank place by mnhq

Flighttattendant Tue 07-Sep-10 21:05:44
Cross posts...yes, there will ALWAYS be discord on every board. But AIBU licenses it, licenses the shoot to kill ethos.

Can you see the difference?

Ah I see

I find it really interesting the different ways peoe use the site

I never use the homepage, only active conversations

so what do you actually want or propose to do.given the amount of traffic it has seems plenty like it and participate.plenty topics i dont like but i dont propose getting shot of them.genuinely believe in free postings,free expression.you cite your own reactions to aibu,your subjective experience isnt necessarily applicable to anyone else.nor is mine.and that is the rub mn is many things to many posters inc aibu

you do so presume - disgrace and disrepute.for you, for some but not for all

s.m agree with what you've said, aibu is meant to be like that but not

Op: AIBU to shit in DH's slippers as he has just walked over my nice clean floor?

Several humourous random replies from people who get it is a joke and then... bam

"How dare you talk about shitting in peoples slippers you should be greatful to have slippers when people in the world are starving you are a bitch op and I hope you rot in hell and feel sorry for your poor husband and your kids should be taken into care for even considering defecating in matrimonial footwear"

at which point other posters go

.."erm the op was like joking right?"

Then they come back and go

"aaah haaah but my point still stands, I will keep arguing it and when you all go away I will accuse you of being bitches and best friends"

and keeps going on and on.

Someone in active convo clicks on what looks like a fun thread, looks at the last post without reading the thread and then agrees that no wasting clothes is in fact quite bad (thinking now it was a serious aibu), and before you know it an entirely different thread has arisen along the lines of

"you should never give a staffordshire bull terrier fruit shoots if you want to be an upright member of society and that I tell you, Madam, is why the op is totally BU and a bitch to boot!"

that is the pleasure/pain of aibu.the stick.wrong end.combo

the willingness with which some posters squawk "leave him/abuser/bully" at aibu "dh didn't butter my toast properly" post

plenty other threads go tits up spectacularly.least on aibu you are warned its frank

out of interest op why isnt this in AIBU topic?given is relevant to those who post there

As I said at the start I think (peers with squinty eyes at long distant first post) I think it should be segregated from active conversations. It needs its own special area, if not its own affiliated website.

I don't propose getting rid. I just think it's crap, basically, and MN is so much better without it...or at least not sharing a bed with it.

I did consider putting it in AIBU but I don't use the topic as a matter of principle and also because it would have been hard to see the rational posts among the shite ones.

I don't like AIBU so I don't post there. It would be asking for trouble.

methinky too many fancy playing at miranda priestley.given you dont like it dont partake, i dont particularly like lotsa topics.so i dont participate.i dont wring my hands hoping they get binned or quarantined

the willingness with which some posters squawk "leave him/abuser/bully" at aibu "dh didn't butter my toast properly" post

I do like it when you come to moderate those comments in your own special way s.m

pram scams,broken prams,fraudulent transactions,police called all disgraceful and disreputable behaviour.i think someone getting ripped off and calling police is more reprehensible,than an on screen spat. should they segregate that topic op

Prams is already segregated SM. Classifieds anyway.

Who is Miranda Priestley btw?

I'm very grateful for this thread for teaching me how to hide topics. AIBU now hidden. I'm looking forward to a calmer future

Oh have found her

When you said a mixed bag of responses SM, I don't think there has been much variation really. Not this time.

loads of people saying yes, how do we hide it too?

A few saying they aren't bothered, one or two saying they like aibu

It's not very mixed is it? I'm encouraged by the number of like minded people tbh. I was worried it was just me.

Good thread FlighttAttendant. I have always spoken out against AIBU. I have had it hidden for a few months now so at least I don't get wound up by it, but I am positive the advent of AIBU marked the downturn in MN.

Ooh helloooo DG

I haven't seen you in AGES, how are you!