a chance for the SN community to tell you how it really is and to tell you the horrid stuff they have to deal with

[2shoes]

all the time..
after the horror of the other thread, I think it would be good for the sn community on mn to tell their stories, when they have been harassed/assaulted/ and abused by the nt world.
night help to put a couple of minor incidents that someone in the nt world has had to put up with for a very short space of time.

so I will start ....
we were subjected ot haye crime for 5 years....why because my ds fell out with them when they called my dd a spaz.
we can't go out without the staring...small children blocking out way in the shop, whilst mummy/daddy does nothing, just so their child can stare at dd, who is shock horror in a wheelchair.
my son was bullied at school by nt kids who took delight in calling dd a spaz.

mie are minor compared with most.

Peachy He was about 9/10 and suicidal it was awful we had to ban dressing gowns and belts as he tied them around his neck don't know where he got the idea from we even had to nail windows shut. He would take off in a rage and we'd find him at a bridge.

He couldn't say the word properly either jumbled his words into one still remember him to this day.

This thread makes me scared for how my DS 6.9yrs with ASD will be treated as he grows up.

:( Dotty

wonders where that leaves mine

It really is crap Devient :(

I'm afraid I have to agree, from day 1 !!!

Ok your probably all right, thankyou.

I will continue in my little way in the knowledge that I wouldn't knowingly offend, and hope I dont.

Some of these really make you wonder about people, all though I already live in wonder about a lots of things & definately not in a good way .

Dd2 has severe learning disabilities with no speech and not independently mobile. Haven't had anything like as bad as a lot of the other people here, but have been sworn at a few times, mainly by grumpy older folk! Also have had to try to develop a rhino skin for all the endless staring and horrified looks, particularly in supermarkets, where people seem to have less patience overall but I still get upset by it.

It's other people's reactions which stop us having a normal life to some extent - you can't go to cinema or eat out hardly for example because it bothers others too much and is just too complicated.

I really don't know where to start describing all the stuff we have had to deal with .

DS1 has autism and we had to move house because we were being harassed by a family on our street. DS was only 4 at the time but the children (6 and 10) would throw things over the fence at him if he was in the back garden (stones, broken pieces of glass). The parents of these kids would throw stones and eggs up at his window at night leaving him too terrified to sleep.

The school DS went to was awful. He had no friends and all the kids called him the freak. If he tried to join in chasing games the other kids would get a teacher to tell him off. He kept trying and got sent to the head for being disruptive. Eventually he gave up playing with the children and started collecting different sorts of leaves each break time. He was told off for this and sent to the head as it was "dirty and making a mess". Finally he spends his breaks sat on the ground doing nothing and guess what...he's sent to the head as he is getting in the way and won't do something else The end result of this was him wandering out the school gates to try and find something to do and getting lost. He was 6 at the time and they had to send out staff to search the streets looking for him. We changed schools shortly after this.

isn't heartbreaking to read so many times that it is the nt world that makes life so hard.

Oh, god. This thread is making me weep.

I cannot believe this is happening. Which is not to say that I don't believe you all, but it is incomprehensible.

It is not an isolated incident. It is standard, is it not?

Is there anything that we (MNetters) can do, other than be watchful and observant and ready to challenge cuntishness in RL if we see it?

I find MN worse than rl tbh, at least in rl you see the person.
here the bigots hide behind MNHQ and their education policy, and their made up names.

I agree with all comments but I have also met fantastic people who have embraced all my DC's so whilst I am very angry not all people are vile.

akaemmafrost - are you in London? Your story is almost exactly like ours.

Except our DS is still in the unit, but about to be thrown out because they have fuck all understanding - in this so-called specialist provision - of how to deal with him.

2Shoes
I know this has been discussed in length before, but it would help if more people were robust in going against anyone making horrible comments on MN, and if MNHQ were more willing to delete them.

It took a LONG time for the rape apologist comments to be taken more seriously, perhaps some of us without kids with SN need to be more proactive.

I'd ask that people do that, Mme. There is too much tolerance of shit on these boards.

Mme Lindor your mag looks great! If I had any talen at all I'd willingly contribute. Will give it some thought.
One thing I would like to see is the police and CJS cracking down on crime motivated by hatred of people with disabilities the same way as they do on crime motivated by racial hatred. I would also like to see people regard "humour" targeted as such people with the same disgust as they regard racist jokes and bullying. The likes of jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle et al do their bit to create a cultural atmosphere in which people with LDs are regarded as just a bit less human than the rest of us.

If you think it would help that a non-SN poster started a thread in Site Stuff, I can do that. It may well be the same old same old, although I do think the comparison to the rape apologist crack down is good.

Reactionary
Thanks. Give me a shout if you would like to write something.

I also have articles written by our readers, so if any of your children would like to contribute, let me know.

If nobody else takes you up Mme give me a shout, I can do an article for you.

Dotty that's terrible, ds1 used to talk about wanting to die as well and ended up with an eating disorder- actually it seems to have come back as I am finding hi9dden food everywhere again and his spine is showing through his clothes, post taxi-abuse that's probably to be expected. DS1's meltdowns are horrendous, it was hard restraining a 4 year old but a very fit 12 year old is no joke and local policy means I am not permitted restraint training. I have often locked my others in a bathroom for safety reasons.

ds3 is the oppopsite- teddy ebar child, cutesy, loving, easily scared, very naive and vulnerable but friendly. It's such a spectrum!

You know, I can remember growing up 'different' and I Do think it ahs improved.

Asperger's didn;t exist in the UK when I was at school, I am an old(ish) person. But I was always scruffy, socially awkward- I describe life now as if I have learned to work the functions well (like word, email) with little grasp of how the underlying system actually functions. I relaised that a few eyars ago when I ahd to interrupt a conversation in the playground and realised I ahd no script for doing so.

At school I was in top set English, bottom Maths- I was the conundrum nobody got. Priamry was OK and in fact my leavers book has a message from my Head Of Year saying remember him when I become Prime Minster LOL, but Comp- nah. A teacher took against me early on; she and her mates would make me aprade along the stage to laughter from the school is I ahd a carrier bag instead of a rucksack (usually a result of bullying), haul me up before the HoY for crimes other people had committed- it was an awful time. By teh time I was 18 my lack of awareness ahd led to me being sexually assaulted twice in very different ways linked to my naivety.

And now after a comvoluted route where i did my education in my early thirties and the like, I can say I am pretty happy and sure of who I am. I no longer want to be like everyone else, me is pretty good.

My son last year was led to a corner of the school playground by two older children wanting to be friends with him.

They then held him still whilst they kicked,punched him and stamped on his face once he fell to the floor.

He was 7 years old at the time.

School dealt with it by keeping my son inside at playtimes "for his own safety".

I was also asked by Someone I once considered a friend "do you ever wish he had been stillborn or something" and have also been screamed at in the street and told "that animal should be locked up".

The heartbreaking reality is the older my son gets the worse public opinion of him will be and this is just the beginning.

Can I ask something.

DS (4) looks at wheelchairs etc, I always encourage him to say hello, he asks questions, I try to get him to ask (this is usually with older people, I think he just accepts it in youngsters), I will say, speak to the nice man/nice lady if he wont, I just say hi, smile and go.

I have always wondered what the most appropriate thing to do would be.

Taken me forever to read to this point.
So many of us have had such similar awful experiences.
On a recent course I was on for parents of children with ASD (run by Carers Centres here in Glasgow) every one of the parents summed up their child's primary education years as horrendous, and much the same for secondary school.

My 8yr old, aspergers & speech disorder, is between schools at the moment due to bullying which just wasn't dealt with or prevented by the school for years.

'Dreadful' kind of best describes it all for me.

On the plus side, impromptu home educating is proving to be fun for us both at the moment. With the school stress removed we are enjoying ourselves, off in the morning to see about some horse-riding!