DP wants to give a man a blow job and I’m unsure

[Geil]

Been with DP on and off for 5 years. I’ve only had sex with him over the past 5 years but when we have been off he has hooked up with other women.
What started as some finger play in his ass has become pegging with my dildo.
Now he says he would like to feel how it is to give a blow job to a man so he can experience what I feel.
He wants it to be a shared experience - that he is shagging me while he does it.
The idea does make me feel a bit horny but there is also the fear, does this mean he is bi, what if he likes it and wants to do it more often. What if I get really jealous and feel hurt.
I know it is better that he is talking to me about it that going behind my back but I am actually scared I would lose him as I wonder if the next step would be that he wants a real penis in his ass rather than my dildo.

He's bi curious, which could lead to bi sexual, which could lead to gay. But I'm guessing he's bi.
The relationship might have to open up if he's suggesting MMF threesomes. The question, as you have identified, can you live with it?

That’s the problem. I asked if he thought he was bi and then he wrote back to me that people of our age want to try different things. I’m currently on holiday without him and it’s only text messages. I’ve said if he goes behind my back and I find out it is finished.

Sexual experimentation is not age related. We've all done it at various stages in our lives. Depending on our circumstances at the time. As you know there's a lot of women who like to experiment later in life. Some men are no different. You don't actually give your age.

me early 50s him late 40s

Well he's obviously comfortable discussing this with you. Does he have anyone in mind?

Bi male here but prefer women. My ex gf used to love watching me give bjs to other men, she found it a massive turn on

Only you know how you feel about it, as other's have said at least he's open about it

No one in mind at the moment. A gay friend came onto him last year so that’s maybe a possibility or a swingers club.

He wants to screw me at the same time as the blow job but I think he’ll get too involved with the blow job.

All I will say is if you have even the slightest bit of doubt then don't agree to it, sometimes things are best left as a fantasy.

That is how I feel right now

Hmmmm. Straight 40 ish male here.

I like a bit of anal play on me, including the odd peg now and again. It’s where the male g spot is and can feel great.

however, I wouldn’t dream of giving another man a blow job or vice versa.

I guess my point here is one of these, for me at least, is straight experimental sex, the other is effectively gay sex, even if you are involved as well.

if you are comfortable with this then that’s fine, but I’d be very wary it doesn’t lead to more than a blow job at some point in the future.

OP would it just be a blow job? Would he get one from the other guy, would he want to kiss him etc? You would be surprised how many 'straight' men are happy to suck a guys cock but then not kiss the same guy as 'they wouldn't feel comfortable with it'

Would you be just watching or getting to do things with the other guy as well? In any group sex setting boundaries need to be discussed and set beforehand

The question is, how comfortable are you with this very obviously bi side of him. Most importantly, bear in mind, this needs all kinds of delicate thinking, leaving it a fantasy could stew something in him, potentially going out. behind your back (not saying this is a 100%), but going for it will open up your relationship in a way that can never be undone. I don't envy you, what a lose-lose situation this is...

That’s my fear

DP says he wants to fuck me while he’s giving another guy a blow job. He says he wants to feel what I feel giving him a blow job. But I’m not sure I want to open things up this way. He says he’s talking to me because he’d like me to be involved and he doesn’t want to go behind my back.
I hasten to add that we haven’t had any intimacy for a few weeks as it is school holidays, he is RP and his ex hasn’t taken the children for sometime so we have no time together.

If DH wanted to experience what I experience I'd get him to do the vacuuming and all the family admin.

Is he good at multitasking? I've found having sex and giving a BJ at the same time takes quite a bit of coordination.

He’s very good as housework (single dad) but I even though I don’t live with him, I seem to end up doing his family admin. 🤣🤣🤣

and I am not convinced he could give a blow job and have sex with me at the same time.

Whilst getting paid £0.84 rather than £1.

Seriously though, OP—you don’t have to set fire to yourself just because he likes to keep warm.

I have now told him I’m not comfortable with it. Let’s see hat he answers.

Aside from the obvious complications and the OP not being happy, which is paramount as to why this should not happen.

1. The logistics and positioning of doing this are likely to fail; this is likely to end up like an adult version of Twister.
2. l see a risk of clenched teeth here.

Not for me. Can’t be straight having these desires

The OP has made her decision and let’s hope he respects it.

The other issue here is that the OP will be very close up to another male and having sex in his presence. No!

I'm bisexual... Unless you actively like the idea of watching your partner with someone else and/ or like the idea of another person watching you having sex with your partner then you should decline a 3some. Being fucked with no eye contact while he is slobering over a dick could easily start to feel humiliating unless it's managed very carefully.

I'd be curious to know if he's actually getting off on you being there or is he just accessorising you to make sucking another man's penis seem less gay? It could be some internalised homophobia on his part as he starts to come to terms with being bi.

I just wish I’d never pegged him now.

I don't think you can just turn someone's orientation with a flick of a switch - no pun intended. His interest and curiosity was in him, and it would have been there with or without you, so don't beat yourself up for something that you didn't cause.