DP wants to give a man a blow job and I’m unsure

[Geil]

Been with DP on and off for 5 years. I’ve only had sex with him over the past 5 years but when we have been off he has hooked up with other women.
What started as some finger play in his ass has become pegging with my dildo.
Now he says he would like to feel how it is to give a blow job to a man so he can experience what I feel.
He wants it to be a shared experience - that he is shagging me while he does it.
The idea does make me feel a bit horny but there is also the fear, does this mean he is bi, what if he likes it and wants to do it more often. What if I get really jealous and feel hurt.
I know it is better that he is talking to me about it that going behind my back but I am actually scared I would lose him as I wonder if the next step would be that he wants a real penis in his ass rather than my dildo.

Correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't speak of experience here, but I am told that being bi doesn't have anything to do with threesomes or opening up relationships. The two are different things altogether.

How was your decline of his proposal received? Don’t blame yourself @Geil

Not well. As I told him to go and explore alone if he is bi or gay. He told me I was crazy. Time to LTB.

He has totally messed up my holiday alone

I get that. It's not something you can accomodate, but his desire to make it a reality is strong. I would do the same, if I were you and my wife asked to involve anyone else in our bedroom.

🙄 You seem to pay very close attention to every bisexual / open relationship thread... you must be the expert by now!

In this case, where the OP's partner is asking for a 3some in order for him to experience being intimate with a man for the first, I think it's v relevant. Obvs doesn't mean that is the case for most bisexual people in relationships (as has been pointed on every single bisexual thread).

He’s now told me that after I said that he no longer has any desire for sex.

He’s trying to manipulate you into getting his own way.

I know

I have written back. It doesn’t help I had a car accident and am stuck on holiday.

Are you ok? Are you in the UK at the moment or abroad? Do t waste any more time responding to him. I know is very disappointing but you have been on and off with him for years which shows it’s not a solid and consistent relationship. He has slept with people in between which doesn’t help. He’s asking you for something unreasonable. There is no way I would say yes to this. I’ve always been very against threesomes fir the reason that it lets someone in to something that is only meant to be with your other half only.

This whole thing seems like his way to legitimately have sex with men. Start off with pegging then slowly move it along in stages to full on sex with men. You being included initially is just to keep you on board. Eventually your participation will not be required.

Finally seen DP after our respective holidays. It has been dropped for the moment. We had a good weekend together before DC came back. Just us for the first time in a month.
I start to wonder if his brain just wanders when we don’t have time together.

Hi @Geil, is “having time together “ code for having sex? I would not let my guard down with him and make the excuse “that his mind wanders”, as he did put you through some serious stress and his request was a strong one and quite frankly not standard. I do hope you addressed this issue face to face and have not brushed it under the carpet as it may rear its head again next month? What strikes me is that your relationship hasn’t been stable and you need to address this about reasons why you’ve broken up, he’s slept with others in this break and you haven’t. I would question whether your relationship can go the distance. This post would me good if moved to the relationships board as the dynamics of your relationship need to be examined.

sorry, I don’t mean to piss on yoir parade as you seem happy / relieved but serious discussions need to be had as I am sure when you were in holiday this was in the back of your mind..

OP the thing that concerns me is that he said he wanted to involve you so he didn't go behind your back.

That to my mind is a threat that you should do what he wants or he will do it anyway.

This would have been game over for me at this point, whatever the request was.

I don't think this is the man for you, I'm worried he might do the slow drip and revisit this subject or worse still do it behind your back.

I think you deserve better 💐