Can women enjoy casual sex without wanting bonding or commitment?

[MrRee]

I’ve been reading up on oxytocin – how for women sexual intimacy releases the hormone oxytocin, leading to a desire for bonding and commitment. And how for men, sex is easier to separate from bonding and commitment because the oxytocin effect isn’t the same.

I’m wary of generalisations, but this seems generally true, and fits with my own experience down the years (50s m).

My question is: what’s happening when women have a casual fling? Are they secretly hoping for bonding and commitment (so in effect kidding themselves if they say they aren’t)? Or are some women’s sex drives more like men’s, able to enjoy intimacy without a strong oxytocin effect?

Any thoughts appreciated!

And, then you fall for them…

I think if you are going to get involved with what l term special friendships (sorry but l loathe the FWB term) you need at least 2 regular lovers. That way it is less complicated.

You also need to be discreet because people can be very judgemental about your lifestyle.

If you have had a FWB... where did you seek out the right person for this? Existing friends/contacts, online via mainstream dating site, online via a more specialist site? Somewhere else?

One I'd met at a swingers club with my late boyfriend, then contacted him again now recently now I am single.

Have met other men via WAX and Feeld. But have also chatted to many men on Tinder etc - honesty gets you a long way.

Some of the best sex I’ve had was ONS (although it did then happen a 2nd time so technically a TNS!) but the build up had been an entire day at work flirting so we were both very ready for it,

I think the type of sex and other intimacy makes a difference too. My XP and I started as FWB but he would gaze into my eyes and tell me how beautiful I am etc so it’s hard to keep it casual when they’re giving the boyfriend experience! If it had been less emotionally intense then the lines might not have been as blurry.