If your husband confessed to you that he was turned on by the thought of you being intimate with another guy, what might your reaction be?

[ibegyounotto]

It's a common secret to be turned on by the thought of a partner being intimate with someone else. Some keep it secret for fear of their partner's reaction, be it negative or possibly over-eager.
I'd be interested to know how other women might react, especially if they've not considered it before.

My ultimate fantasy which I would 100% make come true if I could would being held by my husband whilst being f*** by someone else. So yeah I’d be up for it.

This exact same thread was posted recently by the same poster. www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/5105826-is-your-husband-turned-on-by-the-thought-of-you-being-intimate-with-another-guy

"Exact same thread" - No, similar subject, different question.
"Recently" - Nearly 2 years ago, recent on a geological scale I guess.

Some serious time series research going on here obviously.

Or maybe they just like reading about people getting fucked.

That's cobblers, frankly. It was essentially the exact same question with slightly different wording.

Whether you think someone's into something and how you might react if they were are almost opposites, one's about him, one's about her. If you think those questions are similar, I have 50 or so polls on this forum and others that you'd find even more similar😂.

I offer unpaid sex and relationship guidance to those struggling with cuckolding fantasies in particular. Sometimes you need to be able to confirm theories or back up what you say. I do more polls on forums that are more relevant to the subject but sometimes you need the opinions of people that aren't in that bubble. I give back to this forum wherever I can.

How I felt about them sharing that fantasy would depend on their motivation and what they liked about the thought. If current partner prioritised my pleasure and said they wanted to see me have even more pleasure that would land very differently to them wanting to watch for their gratification. Feeling worshipped Vs feeling like an object being passed around (unless that's what floats your boat!).

When I have heard men talk together about MFM experiences they have not been at all respectful of the woman involved. This is hopefully different when it is an established MF couple adding another M but I can't imagine trusting one man enough to believe that, let alone 2 together!

👍 to this ^^ I don't think it's ever about the woman's pleasure. Seeing them with another man and "being a slut" as I've heard it put is more what's wanted.

Although, TBH, in a relationship I don't usually have a desire to have sex with anyone else.

I can promise you that it's very often about the woman's pleasure. It's called compersion and it can be the sole driving factor sometimes. Often guys want their wives to experience better and can accept that other guys will be able to provide what they can't.
The flip side that you speak of exists too but that doesn't mean it's some twisted misogyny. Some women enjoy letting their naughty side run free and if the husband enjoys it too then it's an added bonus.

I don't disagree that there are women who enjoy it. And if her hubby enjoys it and is onboard then cool, good for them. But sometimes it very much is about a man wanting to see his girlfriend/wife being "used" by other men, being "a slut". That does happen and it is misogynistic.

You can apply that same logic to almost any kink or fantasy. If it were the wife that had the fantasy about her husband, would you be saying the same? What if it were a lesbian couple?
I think it's immoral to try to smear a particular kink or fantasy in this way.
People can't usually control what turns them on. People with a bad moral compass will do bad things regardless of what they're into. Why try to link the two?

When this idea was floated in a previous relationship, it was the beginning of the end for me. I started to lose trust and, to be honest, respect for my partner. We'd not been together that long- which may be a factor, you need an existing deep love/respect/trust- and despite his insistence that it was "for me", I hadn't expressed any interest in this and he already had. Trying to frame it as doing me a favour didn't help the cause!
I'm not sure what it "says" about me, but I like the fact that DP is horrified by the idea. I don't want to be shared. "I am yours and you are mine".

Its a huge turn on for me, but the desire for my partner to enjoy other men only comes when I have a deep emotional connection. I love the idea of my wife having great sex with another man. Watching or being involved would be even better, but not overly likely with my wife - and thats okay.
Everything about it is down to her. The strongest part of it is her enjoying the sex

I've been in a cuckhold relationship since the end of Covid. My wife has a periodic sexual partner. The reality for me has been one of a sense of relief, more than anything else. My wife has a high sex drive which I've never kept up with and would often sexually under-perform. It was worrying and destabilising. Now I don't worry about it because she's sexually fulfilled. It was a lengthy process to get to this stage. Nothing happens overnight but its kept us together.

As I said, if two people - regardless of sexual orientation - are happy with this set-up, then happy days, good for them.

But there are men who are misogynistic and who see women as sex objects - even tne nice men, with wives. That's all the value women have to these men. They use them as such, then as mentioned above, talk about them disrespectfully when they've "performed".

Infact, let's face it... sex is the only thing men really want from women. Everything else they just put up with to get said sex.

I think that's how relationships between men & women start but not the only reason why they stay together.

That's what women (and I am one) want to believe! And that's what men will have us believe... 'ofcourse I'm interested in you darling', 'ofcourse I want to hear about your day', 'ofcourse I want to do x/y/z with you'. Men are hardly going to tell us the truth.

Sounds like a conspiracy theory. I can only talk from my own experience. The reason myself and my wife stay together isn't the sex side of things. Although our current situation is beneficial for her. Its shared memories, friendship, a glass of wine on the sofa, planning holidays together. Today, I'll jetwash the patio. She'll make me a cup of tea and tell me I've missed a bit..

Doubt it. I've had partners in the past with lower libidos than me.

that's a big whopping generalisation right there

Is it really though?

Yes!

thats disappointing from a M perspective, disappointing in so much as M are untrustworthy. There are lots of men out there who would be happy to do whatever to please and worship their partner. But yes, unfortunately, there are many more men who would be into this for their own gratification