Suddenly wondering about my sexuality at 51

[Unsureofmyself74]

I have been married for 25 years and it’s always been a bit rubbish sexually. I have had good sex with men in the past though.

I have always fantasised about women when masturbating and enjoy reading lesbian erotic. I have watched lesbian porn too but not so much anymore. But my fantasies are always about women.

I am just confused as it has always been something I assumed formed part of my fantasy life as was never really interested in real life. But now I wonder if I am suppressing something - or maybe I am bisexual? I just don’t know. I can only ever orgasm when thinking about women too.

Anyone else? How did you know? Was it actually acting on it? I don’t know if I do want to act on it. Can you just have a fantasy life that turns you on but not act on it in real life?

Happy to take Dms too if someone doesn’t want to discuss publicly.

I have known I was bisexual since I first started having crushes as a kid, but during my teens it was the horrible era of performative lesbianism where girls would kiss you but they were only doing it to turn men on. I completely lost my confidence in knowing whether a woman liked me or not, and found gay spaces really cliquey if you didnt already know someone. So I stuck to men because it was easier. Now, in my 40s, I feel I'm getting gayer and gayer every day. Which is a little difficult as I'm married to a man.