Rant over

[Needsomeconfidence]

spilt up with my wife of 13 years after finding out she has been having an affair with multiple guys for some time , Iv known for months just needed the evidence and it wasn’t hard to find.

Recently found out that she has had an abortion a week or so before we separated (obviously not mine )

it’s really knocked my confidence

now that’s off my chest, what’s the best sites to talk to women that are not scams it’s been a long time since I did anything like this and it’s definitely changed a lot.

i need to get back in the game

Find out what YOU want sexually and normally and GO for it x

It’s understandable your confidence has been knocked. You don’t sound ready to date at all. Talking to a counsellor would be a better investment if your time.

This is a time to consolidate what you have left. Don't turn to drink.
Put your efforts into Your Family. Then on salvaging whatever assets or cash you can.
Job/career
Hobby, but don't rush into new ones. Nor new girlfriends neither. Consolidating, remember?
Don't expect sympathy or much general advice from blokes. An accountant might tell you something specific but not general chat like women do.
Use sunscreen!
Best of luck.

I'd take some time out. Revenge sex isn't going to cut it TBH. You'll only feel more shit than you do now. counselling is a good idea. Self reflection and building your confidence slowly along with diet and exercise. Socialise some more with friends and generally get back in the groove of a good work/lifestyle balance.
The rest will come along when it should. Be patient with yourself.

I think you need to assess what you’re looking for and how you’re feeling. You’ve been betrayed and you’re upset, and you probably want to move on to spite her - but you risk pulling someone innocent into a lot of pain because of how you’re feeling.

OLD won’t do much for your self esteem . It’s changed so much . Do you have a hobby that you could join groups and maybe meet women there or at work ? Maybe you have a friend who has a single friend .

It’s hard work being single now . I’m 41 and I can’t imagine il have another relationship coz I struggle with online dating etc.

I feel for you, my ex did the same thing, he was cheating on me with multiple other girls

If you're looking for advice on OLD sites, check out this thread. It's not for the feint hearted and, if you're feeling at all fragile, it may not be the best place to go yet.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5366436-is-old-as-hard-for-men-as-it-is-for-women

The fact that you've started this thread with a whole story of your wifes cheating and abortion, tells me that you're nowhere near ready to be dating right now.

You're still processing and healing, understandably so.
Maybe just take your time to heal before jumping into something for the wrong reasons.