Is it me or are men just timid in bed?

[lipbites]

Genuinely curious — where did all the fun, filthy, imaginative men go? I’ve got a high sex drive, I love a bit of teasing, and I’m definitely not shy about what I want… but lately it feels like the spark’s gone out of the bedroom, or maybe just the people in it.
I don’t want beige. I want connection, filth, fun, hands everywhere, and someone who knows how to look at you like they’ve already undressed you. Is that too much to ask? Or am I shopping in the wrong aisle?

It’s not hard…but I can see why it’s confusing. Being dominant, in control, throwing you around etc does, on the face of it, go against what men are now taught. At times there’s nothing I like more than a good hard bent over shagging but then to many a man asking to do that means he’s not being the dominant, powerful man people want. Even I’m confusing myself trying to explain lol.

The consent conversation has to be had prior to the act itself doesn't it?

I don't do anal play
I like my arse slapped gently
I like my hair pulled gently
I like it rough sometimes but not too rough
Doggy is my favourite etc, etc

That's a rather short list. How do you decide to stop there rather than after 4 sides of A4 for things you do or don't like, and how do you define "not too rough"?
I think consent has to be far more responsive and, in a respectful situation, the concept is almost meaningless.

Of course its not a comprehensive list. We'd be here all day. it's the sort of thing that gets discussed between two people. And of course "roughness" would be considered.

For the most part, yes. From my own point of view, I like a lot of flirty, sexy chat so some idea of what each other wants would already be known without a serious discussion about it.

Of course, before sex takes place is the best way to make any desired preferences known. For instance, if a man decided he wanted me to dominate him and I wasn’t aware beforehand, I’d have to stop there and then because I find it such a turn off. If he’d made me aware beforehand, I wouldn’t even get to the point of sex.

Keep it simple "here's my safe word, now let's have some fun"

Well it's a trust thing isn't it ?

Bit like CNC, if it is Consensual then it isn't Non Consensual

Seeing as a safe word is usually used after the attempted or the act, that's a rather crap way of doing things.. particularly early in a relationship.

The few men I have had sex with were very dominant, the sex is that much more satisfying when they are.
I can’t imagine a man being timid during sex, what would that even look like? Boring?

Yep, unless you’re into dominating men, then maybe it would be a turn on. Not for me though - I like a man to take control.

Pm , lets see how deep the rabbit hole goes together

@mike519 I’ve had DM’s from men on here, married pretending to be separated, all to get their kicks.

No luck @StrawberryNocream

@mike519 if you want to be DM’d, tell us why, what are you bringing to the table?

His right hand I imagine 😂

@Gymbunny2025 lol that’s a crack up! Come on Mike don’t let that be true!

Yeah ... he's probably left handed. Nothing more sinister than that.

Where would be the right place to go shopping for sexually dominant men? 🤔

I'd surprised if anyone could tell from just normal conversation how "experienced" I am or how I am in the bedroom. One partner reasoned I'd be good in the sack by the way I danced, but we hadn't got as far as sexting at that point and busting your moves at an industrial/goth/metal nightclub is quite different from chatting about your job/family/holidays.
🐼

Men are not “encouraged “ do be dominant in this day and age- boring is where things are now

I’d be very disappointed in this