Hi I’m not sure if this is the right place to post but I needed to vent, apologies if it’s long.
I’ve been out of a relationship for 3 years now, it ended rather amicably which I’m grateful for, especially after being together for 14 years (we weren’t married but did have a child together). He’s the second person I’ve been with. For about a year after, I didn’t think about finding someone else or sex at all, got busy with life and parenting. For about 15 months(ish) I thought to myself it could be worth dipping my toe into dating again, so joined tinder (I know, probably not the best idea since I’m 43). Was rather disillusioned quite quickly since it seemed there were a lot of fake profiles (especially on the women side), people joking around, people just wanting something quick or people seemingly jaded with one word messages ‘hi’.’good hbu?’,’Pics?’. I left pretty disheartened and frustrated.
Then very recently, my best friend who is the only person I speak to in my life about things like sex (but I don’t see her often now as she has moved) said try a site called ‘fabswingers’ which is out of my norm, but I thought why not just to see and I am bi curious. I was off it by day 2, with all the abusive messages, tons of willy pictures either on a profile picture or willy pictures being sent to me without my permission. overtly over the top sexual messages that people sent as a greeting, again fake profiles. I put on my profile I have a disability, and most seemed to ignore it outright when asking me things that I wouldn’t even be able to do because they just wanted and only cared about sex. Fair enough I guess, but I like to know someone too, so I think I will give up on fabswingers. I know there is an app called bumble but looking into it, it seems to be owned by the people who own tinder so I’d imagine a similar outcome to that?
Meeting someone naturally is tough with work and childcare, I don’t really get a chance to. And in person I’m a bit reserved and lack self confidence. All in all I just feel defeated and annoyed at myself, What I’m looking for isn’t concrete in my head. I like the idea of a ‘friends with benefits’ but there has to be that friend part, as I just want someone I can talk to about personal things. Has anyone got any advice or other dating app recommendations?