Am I right to feel that reciprocal oral sex is the foundation of a truly respectful sex life?

[SamkaSabrinka]

Just that really.

I know there is the issue of the other person's boundaries/preferences, but I wouldn't want to be with a guy who didn't completely worship all of my body, and especially my pussy. He should feel like he's approaching an altar every time, and is hugely privileged to do so. That's how I would feel when I approach his dick.

No you are not right. Some people simply don't want to do it.

My first girlfriend could not get any enthusiasm for BJs but I was still delighted and enthusiastic to go down on her. I simply loved doing it.

Well I completely agree with you. It’s how I feel too. But we’re all different and I’m sure not everyone feels like that! But there’s no way I’d be into someone who saw that as a means to an end or not enjoyable

No, I don’t think you are right; you can’t force someone to do something they don’t like or are not comfortable with, especially when it comes to sex, but there are plenty of other ways a partner can make up for a lack of oral sex.

i think the general view would be if a partner didn’t reciprocate oral sex then he’s selfish, and is only thinking about his enjoyment, but if he makes up for it in other ways then I think that’s ok.

No, I don’t agree either. I’d still happily give oral sex to a man who won’t go down on me, but then I really enjoy penetrative sex, so maybe I’d feel differently if I didn’t. I don’t NEED oral to have a fulfilling sex life.

Thankfully I don’t have to worry about that though.

For me there’s no way to make up for oral. But a man not enthusiastic about it wouldn’t be a suitable partner for me. And I think that’s ok. We should all be fussy!

@SamkaSabrinka totally on your side..mutual pleasure, mutual sexual exploration of each others desires etc leads to a more fulfilling exciting sex life✊🏿 keep having fun!

If one person expects to receive it then they should be expected to give it. That’s how I see it, which is slightly different to your view.

Luckily I love giving a blow job and DH loves going down on me and is exceptionally good at it!

I don’t want anyone to do any thing with me that they are not happy doing. But if someone will not enjoy going down on me, then we are not compatible.

As l’ve said on these pages before, and been called names as a result, no oral, no entry. But if someone is not happy with that, nobody has to have sex with me.

but I wouldn't want to be with a guy who didn't completely worship all of my body, and especially my pussy. He should feel like he's approaching an altar every time, and is hugely privileged to do so. That's how I would feel when I approach his dick.

^^ with the right person, but is “worship the dick”, really a thing now ?

Well this is the heart of my question. Of course I would never dream of expecting anyone to do it to me, nor would I accept anyone trying to force me. That goes without saying. And of course you can have a great sexual relationship without that it without both people doing it.

but

my question is about reciprocity, and it goes deeper than that. Acceptance of the other person’s most intimate and vulnerable area of their body.

If I wouldn’t want to kiss something or have it near my mouth, then I defo would not allow it in my vagina.

Similarly, I would hope a guy would only put his dick somewhere he’d be happy to kiss.

I don’t mean someone even doing very invasive oral or very elaborate. With the guy, even if a woman finds it uncomfortable to suck it, there’s a lot of kissing and licking and loving she could still do. Similarly with a guy. A little bit of lapping would show love and desire.

I’m not saying anyone who doesn’t do this doesn’t love and desire. But I think closeness to those intimate areas is very special.

Exactly. If a guy just does it in a functional way or doesn’t like it then I could not be with him. He has to love it.

No question of course of anyone being forced, I never said that 😉

I don’t think anything can match being licked though. By a guy loving every drop.

Yes I like this. We really should all be fussy. This is our body.

Thank you, good, you get it 😌

Yep 🤭

You are completely right imo.
Because it’s about being totally naked in every way, and being loved, accepted, worshipped as you are.

I adore penetrative sex too, but a guy kissing me there is a level of real acceptance and intimacy.

Of course it is. I absolutely properly worship and revere. How not to? It’s amazing. 💁‍♀️

I disagree. Plenty of blokes will give oral on a ONS that they've no intention of ever seeing again. A lot of men want to be considered great in bed and being good at oral is part of that. It's got nothing to do with 'real acceptance' that is a much deeper thing than a bit of oral.
I'm not big on oral either giving or receiving though, I'd much rather have a dick inside me - I have no taste buds there!

Thanks, will have to let my OH know as she likes to receive, but is pretty slow coming forward with the giving 😵‍💫

It's a deal breaker for me, I say that as someone who is single and can pick what I want. I personally think oral sex is a two way thing and have lots of partners who enjoy it as well as being good at it. I know I would miss it.

well, it might not be a sign of intimate affection for you, but it is for me. Feels like a very private and precious area of me and it's a massive deal for me to let anyone between my legs. Maybe also as had some childbirth trauma so I tend to protect that area.

Totally agree about the taste buds though. That's why I love giving oral. I'm pretty selective about who receives it so not had any bad experiences.

I of course love having a dick inside me too (did I say I didn't?!) ... I don't mean that oral is better than sex or preferable to it. My question is, isn't being that intimate that your face and mouth and tongue are worshipping and pleasuring your partner ... the best foundation?

"This is my body, given for thee"

(Sorry for any offence caused to anyone - I couldn't resist)

I think it's about compatibility isn't it. If it's important to you then you definitely need someone who is keen and enjoys it.

I came from a marriage where he never once wanted to, that sucked. I'm still looking for someone who will really go to town down there as apparently it's great.

I’ve never been with a guy who wasn’t desperate to- just luck I guess but to me a man not wanting to I’d find it quite odd. I hope you find one soon too 😉