Am I right to feel that reciprocal oral sex is the foundation of a truly respectful sex life?

[SamkaSabrinka]

Just that really.

I know there is the issue of the other person's boundaries/preferences, but I wouldn't want to be with a guy who didn't completely worship all of my body, and especially my pussy. He should feel like he's approaching an altar every time, and is hugely privileged to do so. That's how I would feel when I approach his dick.

I'm keeping everything crossed, well almost everything haha.

Worshipping at the alter of your pussy. Brilliant. Lol.

If I fancy a punch in the face from the wife tonight in the bedroom, I will ask her to worship me down below

Disagree. I love giving oral and can spend ages down there but never have it returned as my wife simply isn't into it.
It's not a deal breaker, been married a long while but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't really love it sometime.

it would absolutely be a deal breaker for me personally

“The wife”?? 🤮

forgive me, my wife. She can refer to me how she likes

I think each person is different but for me oral sex is a hugely important part of a sexual relationship, whether as foreplay to penetrative sex or as an end in itself (by masturbating your partner). I like both giving it and taking it. The genitals are also very sensitive parts of the body and it is very intimate and shows trust in the relationship in allowing your partner's mouth to go near them. Personally I could not imagine having a relationship with a man who is not prepared to spend some time with his head between my legs. But you should find that out in the early stages of the relationship ad decide accordingly.

But of course ☺️

Oh bless you, that’s made me laugh but also feel sorry for you - would she not at least consider it?

@KirstyHD1 totally agree it should be part of mutual sexual exploration, though I believe there are some who for some reason are not open to explore and share their fantasies with their partner openly!

I can’t imagine not being into it, but I did find out intolerable in an emotionally abusive relationship. I think it’s (for me at least) necessary to have to right emotional environment for me to allow it. Maybe she has some deep inhibitions.

Yes I think it’s this fundamental trust that I was thinking of too. Without it then.. why would I want him inside me?

Mind you, we seem to have a collection of nice gents here, all ready to worship at that altar 😉 There seems more of an issue with it being reciprocated.

@SamkaSabrinka mutual enjoyment enhances sexual pleasure, I m always upfront chatting openly with my partner about each others likes etc then it’s matter of finding what works best for both of in terms of sexual pleasure…ofcourse there are times when a ‘quickie’ in Al, it’s forms, he, bj, penetration whatever is a relief in a busy life! Keep exploring and having fun fun fun with no hang ups 👍🏿✊🏿

I love both giving and receiving oral. Sadly DH has been unable to do either for the last 15 years.

When it came to him receiving, he would just lose his erection almost immediately. It wasn't anything wrong I was doing (I give a good BJ), it was psychological, a performance anxiety issue. After a few fails like that, he was terrified of me going there so I gave up trying.

When it came to him giving, he used to do it every now and then, early on in our relationship, but always reluctantly. He is super-sensitive to smells, on an almost pathological level. I have always suspected he has ASD (like one of our daughters) and even the slightest body odour can be totally overwhelming to him, which of course always made sex in general tricky, but oral in particular. Forget spontaneity, sex had to be planned so that I could shower beforehand and make sure I was fresh everywhere. Even then, a vagina is a vagina at the end of the day, it's never going to be totally neutral. There was an occasion when I asked him to go down, he tried and was simply unable to stay there. After that "trauma" he stopped trying and I stopped asking.

You're right, I think a pussy should be worshipped (taste and smell included, within reason) and I missed oral terribly for most of my married life. I'm now making up for it with my fwb who loves both giving and receiving. We have long oral sessions and there's definitely a sense of approaching something very precious when we both head south.

@GlasGal83 👍🏿 glad you’ve found a way to mutually enjoy the immensely pleasurable mutual enjoyment of oral sex in all its forms….✊🏿

I think that’s why it’s so important to be fussy and only choose a sexual partner we are compatible with. I’m so sorry you went through that experience in marriage. I absolutely need the feeling of being worshipped (and worshipping) via oral sex.

who knew so many of us on here were religious 😂

Regardless of whether or not mutual oral sex is good, the talk of "worshipping" and "altars" sounds incredibly silly, cringey and like Barbara Cartland to me.

The OP is obviously talking by hyperbole. And yet I think when you're with the right partner, worshipping is exactly what you do. Their whole body, but especially their genitalia.
My lover's penis has been instrumental in my sexual rebirth and the ecstasy I derive from it makes me want to worship it. I can think of no better word or concept to express how I feel towards it. And no better way of showing those feelings than to wrap my lips around it, taste it and tease out its juices. Probably sounding like Barbara Cartland myself now 😆

#preach 😂😂😂

I was fortunate in that my first real lover when I was a teenager was very keen on performing oral on me and I soon experienced orgasms more intense than I had previously achieved by masturbating on my own. I was a little apprehensive about doing oral on him, especially the possibility of ejaculation, but we started in a "safe" way, by making him come in my hand, and we both tasted it. Ever the gentleman, he went first. It wasn't bad at all, except for a slightly bitter aftertaste. I soon gave it another try, direct from the source as it were. I haven't stopped since! I'm not too keen on the term 'BJ' - fellatio is much nicer. I've had many lovers since, both men and women. I don't interview them beforehand like @StarlightLady but I seem to have no difficulty finding oral sex enthusiasts of both sexes.

Of course, not every relationship has turned out well, and I've had some partners who showed themselves to be ill tempered, manipulative and emotionally abusive, and if the relationship's not going well then neither does the oral sex. But all that's in the past thank goodness. I'm approaching my 25th anniversary as a fellatrice. Maybe I should mark it in some way.

Apart from the physical pleasure I derive from a BJ, I love that my wife loves doing it, and I love her telling me how much she loves doing it. I love seeing my penis in her mouth. I love knowing that my pleasure means everything to her while she is doing it.

And similarly I adore giving her oral. The pleasure isn't just hers, it's also mine. A wet pussy is a beautiful thing and it's wonderful to be down there enjoying it.

I think she has but, like I said, it's not a deal breaker for me.
I love giving oral. I live in hope but not expectation.

This is a super interesting thread. Middle aged chap here. Millions of people worldwide get by without oral. But on the basis of my experience to date, the relationships with the potential to endure for me have been ones where I couldn’t wait to ‘worship at the altar’. Many men start off life surprisingly prudish and discovering how much I love giving oral to an enthusiastic partner has been a beautiful thing.
And if she also enjoys giving - wow. It’s her desire for me that is the biggest thrill of them all.

Bless you, I am so glad that you have found a solution/situation where you can have this unfettered pleasure. It sounds like your DH is super sensitive and this doesn't work for him, but I am really glad that you do have someone with whom you can feel this very special pleasure.