Am I right to feel that reciprocal oral sex is the foundation of a truly respectful sex life?

[SamkaSabrinka]

Just that really.

I know there is the issue of the other person's boundaries/preferences, but I wouldn't want to be with a guy who didn't completely worship all of my body, and especially my pussy. He should feel like he's approaching an altar every time, and is hugely privileged to do so. That's how I would feel when I approach his dick.

i agree with you in as far that consenting adults need to agree to consequences jointly

But the no oral/ on entry comment is not consenting, it’s one person sexually dictating to another and if that works for you then that’s fine,

my partner likes oral ( a lot), but I don’t do it because she asks, I do because I know she likes it and I want her to be happy and satisfied

if one day she says “no oral / no entry “, it would be no entry as I don’t believe that one person should be holding another to “ransom” in a relationship

Completely agree- if you have a dealbreaker (on anything) much better to get it out in the open before going forward and having sex or starting a relationship. No idea why this would be considered an issue!

I feel a bit sad for your partner that you wouldn’t give her oral if she asked. Mine is normally happy to oblige when I do!

You misunderstand, if she asked for oral ( or anything else) then I would be more than happy to oblige as I want her to be happy and satisfied

its the “no oral or no entry “ comment from someone above that I don’t really care for, that feels like one person sexually dictating to another, that doesn’t sit right with me

Noooo- you have misunderstood @StarlightLady she isn’t dictating anything. Just protecting herself from sex she wouldn’t want. We all should!

Hmm , not how I read it 🤷🏻

I suppose, on reflection I do kind of 'interview' people. When the talk gets a little flirty and I wouldn;t mind things going further, I say things like 'How important are female orgasms?' and this often leads to some conversation about how best to enable them. However, if we have an intimate encounter and he doesn't head south when the opportunity arises I'm much less likely to pursue the relationship. With women, I'm more patient. Sometimes it's the first time they've been with another woman and they're a bit hesitant, so I go first to set a good example as it were.

Excuse me! “Dictating”? This is my body we are talking about here. Nobody has to have sex with me, but if they do, do l not have any say and expectations in what is done with it? We are not talking about something being done to me but something being done with me.

l have other dos and don’ts too, call them rules if you like. No hands on my throat, no ejaculating on me, no biting and be gentle and, importantly respectful.

Consent is not saying yes and having no further say in what goes on. How dare l have a say in what can and can’t be done to me?

I agree with @StarlightLady here. You've got to make it obvious what you like and what you don't like because if you wait for the other person to guess you'll have to wait a very long time. Similarly with the level of risk you find acceptable. I'm firmly in the 'no choking' camp. So called breathplay used to be a very niche BDSM interest, but now choking seems to be mainstream, with sometimes tragic consequences.

Thank you @AlexaAdventuress , l’ve always managed to avoid that one. Probably because l make clear to someone what l would describe as musts, shoulds and not allowed. A naked woman is far more vulnerable so we have a right to say what goes on.

Are we supposed to agree to anyone doing what they like?

And being prescriptive about sex is absolutely your choice and good luck with that

Thank you! I have a very happy and varied sex life. I have a lot to give and expect a lot.

But for a man to criticise a woman on a largely female site for her own choices about her own body is, in my view, very inappropriate.

Why ?
the internet is not ( currently ) gendered ?

Husband loves giving oral to me and is very good at it. Before him I'd never been with a man who was good at it so it never really entered into my head about how it's a beautiful acceptance of my body, or worshiping or anything like that. But I get it now!

I enjoy giving it to him but I don't do it nearly as much, sometimes I feel a bit guilty but he doesn't do too badly overall. I feel like I'm not as good at it as he is, that's maybe the main issue for me (And I think I don't enjoy giving as much as he does).