New partner interrogating me during sex

[BePearlKoala]

Hi ladies
I desperately need some help
My new partner keeps talking to me lots and asking questions during sex
For example 'How does that feel' and ill say 'good' and he will say 'How good?' im not really sure how to respond to that ?? I thought it was a rhetorical question so have tried ignoring it but he will say 'hmm?' or repeat himself. Whats the correct way of responding? Or he will ask me stuff like 'you want me to cum inside you' and I honestly feel a bit awkward about it.

Also sometimes he whispers stuff and i cant even hear what he's asking, so i have to say 'huh?' and it ruins the vibe.

AIBU? is it normal he keeps interrogating me

You need to establish measurable objectives and kpis for his 3 month review

Just tell him to get on with it and tell him you will guide him when he goes "off course"

Well she feels like it is! I would too, who wants to be asked a load of questions when they're trying yo get off? Not me!

He wants dirty talk. He's expecting lurid, filthy responses. If that's not your bag time to throw that one back.

Lots of talk about Nigel in here. It sounds like he gets around!

I just think it's confirmation that he's doing the right thing. Everyone has their speed, pressure, direction, etc, and I think he's just assessing what you like so that he can continue doing it (or not).

I'd simply say that he doesn't need to ask, and that you'll let him know if it's not working for you.

It’s okay if it’s not your thing, but clearly it’s his. He would like you to be more vocal.

perhaps a chat outside of the bedroom about it?

I wouldn't like the questions but can't imagine silence either. I think u should have a conversation outside of bed about what you both feel comfortable with.

Im with you OP.

Im not against dirty talk per se but asking how is it? How good? Would give me the ick. There are only so many answers to those questions that don't ruin the mood. What is he expecting, a report card? 5 stars on yelp? For you to say hands down this is categorically the most magical and wonderful penis you've ever had the luxury of imagining let alone experiencing?

If he wants quality dirty talk then maybe he should stray away from asking questions like he's attending some formal coaching.

Think you've hit the nail on the head

He's trying to find out what you enjoy by asking you and checking in that you're into what he's doing.

If you don't like it you can tell him the talking takes you out of the moment.

How is ‘ohh that feels good’ ‘I love how you feel inside me’ lurid?

some fecking uptight people in MN.

I suspect in the Venn diagram of women who think this is disgusting behaviour and women who dislike sex and women who no longer want sex past the age of 40 and any man who does is a sex pest, there would be a massive overlap

I did talking with my ex... but it wasnt open ended questions with no way to answer

hes obviously someone who likes to be vocal and communicate during sex. There’s nothing wrong with that however you need to be communicating your thoughts on it. Let him know that you either don’t like it and want it to stop or that you’re not feeling confident with it yet so will need some time to get used to it.

But it isn't an unanswerable questions?

You can reply with 'so fucking good' or 'can't you feel how much i like it' or other such things.

If you're not into that kind of thing, tell him.. i personally love it, myself and my partner talk all the time during it, but he isn't a jack hammer thruster and talking/affirmation of how we're both enjoying it is part of the experience.

It's how you learn what each other enjoy.

Has anyone got an actual answer I can practice to say to him when he asks 'how good does it feel?' I've replied saying 'its the best' in the past but I dont want to keep repeating it

Read my OP, I have said to him its 'so good' and then he asks 'how good'

God there are some real man haters on here. I would understand the reaction if he was being degrading, swearing or using “porn talk” but he isn’t. He’s trying to communicate and connect with his partner during sex and that’s perfectly fine. The OP is the one who needs to now communicate back about what she likes or doesn’t in regards to this situation. It doesn’t make him a slimey prick.

You think I'm dissaproving? Nope, I'm on his side on this one. Filthy chat is awesome.

Wait I just assumed they all did that? Some people don’t talk? Like at all? Damn. To be honest if you don’t like it you just need to tell him. Probably not during sex, I would go with either before or after. I mean if you’re up for it maybe try it, there’s much weirder things he could be into. But if you don’t want that’s understandable too.

It’s just a bit of back and forward communication OP. It’s not out of the realms of normal, that also doesn’t mean you need to like it or want it but it doesn’t make it wrong or inappropriate.

“It feels so good”

“I love it when you do that”

”How does it feel for you?”

There is a way to answer though (if you want to)

"How good?"
"So good, baby. So f**king good."

🤭🤭🤭

Are you very quiet? And or is this happening in the dark so he can’t see your expressions? Might be that he’s not sure you are enjoying yourself. If you’re not into talking in the moment you should let him know but also find ways to share at other times how much you enjoyed yourself.

😂

i did, that's when i throw back by answering with a question.. like 'can't you tell/feel how good' or you can perhaps do a 'honey, if you keep going/doing that you're going to make me (whatever word you use for climax)'

it's also a good opening for you to suggest something else that you enjoy that feels even better..