Anal sex **Content warning**

[Emeraldiisland]

Name change for this. I have never enjoyed anal sex. I find it really painful. DH has tried various things like using lots of lube and even butt plug.
About a year ago I said I wasn't doing it anymore. DH wasn't happy and has hinted a few times since but I always said no.
Last night he went out with his mates and was really pissed when he came home. He basically forced me to have anal sex. I started crying and begged him to stop. He did but not for a while.
I feel disgusting and dirty. He didn't want to talk about it today and told me to stop going on about it and it was partly my fault for always saying no to anal.
He's not speaking to me now. DH says most women love anal sex so I don't know if maybe I'm the problem.
We've had problems in the past but I thought we were in a good place now. Now I feel like he hates me.
There's no real point to this just to get it off my chest. Maybe if you do enjoy anal sex you can tell me how to make it less painful

That is wholly out of order, criminal. You must not tolerate it. This isn't a question of how do you enjoy it, it's a question of boundaries and consent.

Yojr husband is an awful abuser, he raped you, blamed you for his rapist behavior and is now giving you the silent treatment.
i am so sorry you had to go through that. In your position I would be looking to leave not work out ways to make it less painful.

Seriously? The woman's been raped and is obviously vulnerable. That response is awful. OP, what you have said is completely unacceptable. I think you know deep down you know this. Do you have people in real life that can support you?

Dear God Lass, wake up.
Your husband did not just have anal sex with you, he buggered you against your will. That is rape and comes under sex abuse.

I like anal sex, but only when I'm willing.

What you described is rape OP, whether he was pissed or not. What if he hadn't eventually stopped? What if he does it again.

You don't enjoy it and he's not entitled to it. The silent treatment is appalling behaviour, is he trying to pretend you're in the wrong?

Are you seriously for real?

I'm sorry OP but your husband has raped you and you really should be considering reporting him to the Police and not asking how to make anal sex easier for you.

You told him to stop and he did it anyway, you told him to stop and he still carried on. I'm sorry, I hope you have some real life support.

Get out of there sweetheart! That’s not the behaviour of a loving husband you want to indulge, that’s a selfish, entitled, manipulative arsehole.

Your husband RAPED you! No way you should remain with him!

You're blaming a RAPE victim for not talking to her abuser about how to make an act she doesn't enjoy less painful to prevent her partner RAPING her again! Never mind "giving her advice on making it less painful" get on board with the fact HES A RAPIST

This is rape, dump him and report his ass

Op ignore the rape apologist, talking through your abuse with your abuser is a terrible terrible idea. Talk to a women’s charity about it, realistically this will happen again, abuse does not tend to be a one off, there are options to leave, charities that will help you, it doesn’t have to be a case of grin and bare it.

forced me to have anal sex. I started crying and begged him to stop. He did but not for a while.

you don’t need to “know the man or their history” to know what rape is.

None of us know the man involved in this so we take the OP's word at face value and give advice based on that. That's all any of us can do. You can assume he's not what she says but your advice is not wise or helpful. In fact I'd say it's the opposite. The way I read your response was very lighthearted and seemed an outlet to tell people how much you like anal. There is a much more serious issue here.

I don't think it's rape. He did stop eventually. Even if it was I can't just leave him. We've got a 4 year old with extreme learning disabilities and DH is brilliant with him. I'm not sure I can cope on my own. No family nearby (apart from DHs who wouldn't support me anyway) and no close friends. I moved to be with DH and after having our DS I don't really know anyone because DS's needs take up a lot of time. I can't even work.
I just want DH to stop punishing me and start talking to me again. He doesn't need to say sorry, just tell me he loves me.