Anal sex **Content warning**

[Emeraldiisland]

Name change for this. I have never enjoyed anal sex. I find it really painful. DH has tried various things like using lots of lube and even butt plug.
About a year ago I said I wasn't doing it anymore. DH wasn't happy and has hinted a few times since but I always said no.
Last night he went out with his mates and was really pissed when he came home. He basically forced me to have anal sex. I started crying and begged him to stop. He did but not for a while.
I feel disgusting and dirty. He didn't want to talk about it today and told me to stop going on about it and it was partly my fault for always saying no to anal.
He's not speaking to me now. DH says most women love anal sex so I don't know if maybe I'm the problem.
We've had problems in the past but I thought we were in a good place now. Now I feel like he hates me.
There's no real point to this just to get it off my chest. Maybe if you do enjoy anal sex you can tell me how to make it less painful

Consent to sex or any sexual act can be withdrawn at any point. The idea that it can't be revoked or that it's not rape if the perpetrator stops after a little while is untrue. The specifics may vary across the jurisdictions Mumsnetters are likely to be in, but they won't vary much, if at all.

But this is all beside the point, as you didn't give consent in the first place. OP, please talk to someone about this. You aren't obliged to put up with how you're being treated.

How are you, OP?

I see this was back in July and @Emeraldiisland hasn’t posted here since then.

I do hope you are ok.

Heartbreaking to hear of his treatment of you.

Of course you should not be with him, but I fear that long journey to understanding, accepting and doing that is too hard for you all alone.

Tell him he will never ever do that again and to completely forget about it. And if he doesn’t talk to you, you don’t talk to him.

ignore him.

Has he ever done anything else physical to you? Is he usually ok or are you scared of him?

even just entering you without your consent is rape. no matter what other issues the kids deserve a better home life, he obviously has no feelings for you if he makes such a big thing about one thing. a decent partner would accept its not for you and that would be it but obviously he doesnt care about your feelings

I said back in July that

' He doesn't need to say sorry, just tell me he loves me.'

is the saddest comment I have read on Mn.

I suspect the Op is still with her rapist husband.

Hopefully one day she will find the courage to leave.

God almighty- this is awful.
YANBU at all!
He raped you. Full stop.
You asked him to stop and he still carried on. Scumbag.

yes, I thought so too. Such a very sad thing to hear.

He can still be good with your child and be an abuser to you.
You need to speak to a professional women's group who specialise in sexual abuse and get some help.

@HebeMumsnet is there anyway to check in on OP to see how she is doing now?

@Emeraldiisland I was in an abusive relationship and I have 2 DC with additional needs, no family or support as I lived in his country not my own (although both within the UK, England/Northern Ireland) Women's aid got us out and myself and DC are now thriving on our own. It's hard OP but its so so worth it.
I hope in the months since your post that you've had support to be able to leave but if you are still there then so are we and you can talk to us and we can support you.
It was rape and I hope with the time that's passed you can see this now. Sending love x

@Emeraldiisland

if you say no he raped you
so that’s horrid and you need to ensure you are supported

unfortUnately he has now defined what he is

so you know what to do

You need to get out.
You're on here asking how to make anal sex less painful, which means you're completely minimising the fact that he raped you