Anyone logged frequency of sex with partner?

[TheGreatBear]

I don't have a great head for remembering specifics, so a while back I used an app on my phone each morning to record whether any sex had taken place the day before. It takes literally a second to respond to the reminder, and a smiley icon means good and non-smiley bad.

It started because I was unhappy with the lack of frequency and wanted to know what say the average per month was without guessing. Fast-forward to now and I now have several years history recorded.

I'm not sure I would ever share this info with my partner, as I have an unease about what it possibly says about me.

Any thoughts on either the concept or what you would say if your partner told you they had done similar?

I would be livid if I found out that I had been an unknowing participant in such an intimate research project.

You’ve used quantitative data to determine frequency: did we have sex? Yes/ No

Qualitative research is more in-depth and would tell you if you if you tried to initiate and were rebuffed, if your partner was unwell, what stressors were they facing etc.

Dont try to distill a living, breathing, thinking, feeling woman into a mere yes/ no fucktoy. There’s a fantastic book called ‘Come as you are’ which looks at different libidos, mental brakes and I think you might find it really useful.

Yep, I quite agree. Creepy as fuck! Unless you are both aware and doing it as some kind of exercise to get back on track, but doing it sneakily like that is plain wrong. At the very least, you do acknowledge your own unease about it.

Reminds me if this going viral a few years ago. I assume (hope) it was fake!

sex spreadsheet

Do you record a simple yes or no on an app privately? I do that too, just to keep a note of when I last had sex. I don't share this info with anyone, its just for myself.

yes, exactly this.

Menstrual cycle apps allow you to record this. No big deal. Wouldn’t share with my partner

Ffs 😂😂

I think 'intimate research project' is a stretch. would you be as livid if it was non-sexual? for example, say someone with a history of depression made a note of whether they found the previous day a positive or negative experience, as that too could be influenced by what interaction they have with a partner.

I'm not interested in a qualitative approach - the initial aim was to have some numbers to back-up my general feeling of dwindling frequency. I don't want a record of length of session, positions used and marks out of ten 🙄

@TheGreatBear i think consent is also paramount in your example about depression. Would you like to be monitored without permission?

You have been doing this for several years? That really isn’t ok.

I'd never have sex again with anyone who took the time and effort to do this 🤦‍♀️

so in the example if it was me recording if my day was positive or negative I would need the consent of my partner to do it? sorry, I disagree.

where do you draw the line....no-one is allowed to keep a private diary unless their other half is aware. I can't start my memoirs unless I tell my granny its underway.

Controlling twat

@TheGreatBear with regards such personal issues as mental health and sex, yes I would expect my consent to be sought. And let’s be honest here, if you didn’t think it was morally dubious you would be up front with your DP about it anyway. I am sorry you’re having sexual issues but this really isn’t the way forward. What are you doing to help improve things?

This 👍

just to clarify - if I was recording my own mental health I'd need a partners consent?

But you are not?
You utter weirdo

how is something done by and for myself in any way controlling? id like to know your reasoning rather than an insult based on a combo of what I have said and your assumptions in filling-in the rest

Your poor partner

Apologies, I misinterpreted your sentence. No, you wouldn’t need their consent to monitor your own mental health.

I don’t see anything wrong with this at all. I bet many people do it and most do it subconsciously anyway without an app.
Probably is reflective of an unsatisfying sex life if it has been going on that long but that’s another issue.

Men will do anything to avoid going to therapy hahahaha

I'm a man, and don't think it's odd or creepy at all.
I've been doing it since 2011.
It came out of a spirited discussion with my then partner. She was on her second relationship after her divorce, for me she was my first after mine. We could not agree if we were having more or less sex than "other people". If you've ever tried to research the topic, you will have found little reliable data. Most people have never had enough opportunity to personally collect data -and as the Queen said in a very different context, "recollections may vary". People generally say/think they've not had enough!
My records consist of a simple X in my diary. Nothing else. No names, comment on quality, or even name of my partner on the occasion, it's only a record of frequency. The information goes nowhere, it stays with me.

I've read countless times on here about the infrequency of peoples sex lived posted by women.

These women have made a mental note on how often they have sex. Why is this any different?

Why do men always feel the need to try and compare something a man has said to a fictitious feeling that 'loads of women do the same'?

Recording how many times you've had sex with your partner, over years, to form some kind of data analysis completely disregards emotional connection, relationship issues.... Everything apart from how many times you've put your dick in your wife.

It's absolutely bizarre behaviour. Creepy as fuck and shouldn't be excused.

Brings a whole new meaning to "big data".

If my OH was recording this, I'd be pretty pissed off and think twice about things.

Did you give marks out of 10, for technical content, creative ability, longevity. must try harder etc?

Bit sad really