A polite request

[Mermaidparades]

I’ve noticed over the past week that there has been a bit of a tone shift on some threads on this board. Posters are requesting help and instead get a character assassination. Can we please leave that for the larger boards, this little corner of Mumsnet is generally more pleasant and friendly! Obviously it’s perfectly fine to give constructive criticism but lay off the personal digs. 💗

It’s a public forum. Mumsnet will decide if posts break their rules. It’s good that each board gets a range of views. Deal with it or go elsewhere.

Absolutely, a range of views is wonderful. However no one benefits from being nasty just for the sake of it.

Report anything you don't think is appropriate and MN should deal with it. You don't need to take it upon yourself to control the sex board.

You are not in charge of this board, only mumsnet are. It seems people cry ‘nasty’ when their sleaze is picked up on.

Women challenging some of the views expressed on here is welcome as far as I’m concerned.

This.

I apologise if it appears that I want to control the board, that isn’t my intention. However I do believe that someone needed to speak out about the tone before the vibe is ruined. Posters often seem to use this board rather than relationships etc as it has a different feel and it would be a shame to lose that.

I agree that this board has a different ‘feel’. That is mostly not a good thing.

I think we all should aim for the ‘feel’ of this board to support making parents lives easier, to match the rest of the site.

It is important that we keep the sleaze off the site. There are other sites for that kind of thing.

I hope everyone keeps up the work of challenging threads/comments that aren’t suitable for a parenting site.

Is that what they do in the gardening section or sewing, does everything have to be related back to being a parent? Can I not take time off being a Mum to enjoy an adult conversation without it turning bitchy?

Adults conversations are fine. Sleaze isn’t.

This board is for everyone to use/contribute to, within talk guidelines.

Happy days.

Unfortunately one can post comments within talk guidelines which will still make the recipient feel like shit. But, as you say, happy days.

You can say that about any board on this site, though and in other aspects of life people aren't going to agree with everything you say and there's the potential to be left upset. If someone posts something sleazy it's going to be challenged, which is fair enough.

I’m sure there are many women being made to feel shit on these boards. Many of the men here don’t care about that though with some of their comments/viewpoints/unwanted PMs etc. The board is obviously making a lot of people feel shit.

The women I know that use mumsnet feel that they can’t even post on this board anymore. Now that’s really shit.

Why do the women feel they can’t post? That’s dreadful.

This has been discussed on many threads in site stuff. Please don’t pretend you don’t know why. Its been said over and over again.

Hopefully if a certain type of poster gets challenged enough, they’ll fuck off.

So glad to see so many women here challenging questionable posts. 🙌

You know the saying, always trust your gut instinct. We do that in here too. Often the question being asked isnt always asked with the best intentions. But the genuine OPs who ask for advice, will be given the advice they require.

Totally trust your gut instincts, report anyone doubtful, but leave out the mean comments on the board. I can’t believe I’m getting a bit of a hard time for asking for this!

And unfortunately one can post comments within talk guidelines which will still be sleazy.

Picking up on them whilst staying with talk guidelines is the right thing to do and women should continue. I applaud those that do it.

Mumsnet will delete anything they want to. If what you call ‘mean’ and ‘nasty’ doesn’t fall into what mumsnet delete, then tough luck.

You're not going to get your own set of guidelines because some people are too fragile to cope with women questioning their sleaze. 😂

@DuttonRanch over the past few days I’ve seen two posters with disabilities being treated pretty badly, but within talk guidelines. I don’t find that funny and I can’t sit back and just let it happen without at least trying to help.

If it’s within talk guidelines, what on earth are you looking for here. Having a disability doesn’t mean posters shouldn’t be questioned. That’s ridiculous. You do realise that people with disabilities can be as kind or as offensive as anyone else.

I stated quite clearly what I’m after in the OP. But apparently I’m out of order for hoping for us to be more pleasant to one another, so whatever. Yes, I do realise that people with disabilities can be nice or not.

Talk guidelines are the same for everyone here.

Is this the online version of ‘smile ladies’ and ‘be a bit nicer ladies’?

No thanks. I’ll post within guidelines. If I don’t, I’ll get deleted.

The issue is that what some people see as unpleasantness, is simply being challenged. Some men really do hate being challenged by women. Poor little lambs.

Mumsnet make the decisions. Not you. End of.

Simply being challenged- is that what you call posters going on at a person with Asperger’s about his query about his new girlfriend or stating that a blind person is ‘woe is me’ based on a few lines of text.

I was going to comment but others have covered it.

Well said @TheDogIsMeowingAgain