Anal

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Can’t quite believe I’m writing this…..

Absolutely not a troll, long term poster under this and other usernames. First post on sex board.

Ive recently got into a new relationship with a man who seems obsessed with wanting to have anal sex. Our relationship is good in the main but he does have a dominant side and I’m wondering if this desire is part of this. I’m in my late 30s and he late 40s so both experienced…. But I have never gone ‘there’

not going to lie - I want to please him but im scared - but also curious as to what it is that men find attractive about that route? Is it the dominance? The filthiness?! The, er, tightness? I just don’t get it tbh.

Dont worry, I’m a bloke and dont get it either.
I’ve tried and honestly thought what the fuck all the fuss about.
an thats before you even start with the cleaning and lube application then more cleaning

frankly can’t be arsed to do it again! 🙂

Not for me either...its probably been given undue mileage as its a big thing in p#rn but something I have ever done or would ever fancy trying...I am a man

yuck.

Don't do it just to keep him happy. If he pressures you for it too much, get rid.

Done it, to be honest I spend the whole time thinking what if I shit myself that I don't enjoy it.

Don’t do anything sexually to please someone else. There’s a difference between dominant and controlling.
If anal is his actual obsession then he needs to find a partner who feels the same way, it doesn’t sound like you do.
With proper care and preparation anal sex can feel amazing, but like every sexual act, it won’t be appealing to everyone.

He watches too much porn...tell him to sod off.

Porn has told him it's important. For a lot of men, it's monkey see, monkey do.

Don't let him pressure you into doing something you're not interested in. You don't have to try it once, or any of that nonsense.

Thanks for your replies. I thought it might be to do with porn watching. I just keep thinking if I do it to please him I’ll end up disgusted with myself. I’ve let him ‘play’ down there which I hope hasn’t encouraged him 🙈 when we exchange dirty talk it’s all he keeps coming back to though (the desire for anal) maybe I’ll say one day when we are married 🤣 I don’t want to be ‘that girl’.

I had a DP, who wanted anal, we did it occasionally special treat. Then more and more. It became control and domination. Very gradual and subtle.
He had to go.

From a man’s view, I get me wanting anal from her for the point of view of finger for prostate massage, female anus,it’s supposed to be a very sensitive area so perhaps turn her on with rubbing or such but actual anal sex, doesn’t really work for me, dominance possibly, porn obsession equally probably, each to their own, did have a friend of a friend who apparently enjoyed anal far more than vaginal sex

I'm in the minority here it seems but I absolutely love anal sex (I'm a woman), I think it feels amazing but the after affects of anal aren't great.

I would agree with everyone else though and only do it if you're absolutely sure, it really isn't for everyone x

I have never tried it and would never try it. I would finish with him in your position. I could never be with someone who wanted it, gross

I’m one of the minority of females here that love it, my husband and I have lots of anal, I have the most amazing orgasms from anal fat better from PIV, I know it’s not for everybody but it’s absolutely not a 1 sided act that only men enjoy. But having said that it doesn’t have to be for you, but it’s nothing to be disgusted about if you do try it. The key to it is trust, communication and starting off slow!

If you just don't want to do it, then don't. End of.

But if you want to spread your wings a bit, experiement, a lot of people do around your age, then I would suggest you go for it. If there's a risk of your partner dominating, even coercing, you, and you don't want that - some people do - then I'd make it crystal clear before hand that if, at any point, you want to stop, then he immediately stops. And if he doesn't the relationship is on the line.

For me, speaking personally as a man and from knowledge of women I've had relationships with, anal sex is, 1. physically good, 2. physically different, 3. a mental turn on because it's still, despite the normalisation through porn, taboo.

Don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing for a man. It’s all good and well men suggesting these things but often than not, they’re not the ones having a penis inserted into their arse.

If you are going to try it, you need to have a serious conversation with him first. Please do not just decide to just give it a go, especially if he is inexperienced in this. If he has only seen porn he needs to understand it will not be like it is in videos. Those people do it for a living.

Use a condom. Go very slowly. Use lots and lots of lubricant. Make it clear if you feel uncomfortable he needs to pause or stop right away.

I like it too. But that doesn’t mean you would or wouldn’t!
Ask him if he’d like you to peg him if he thinks it’s such an amazing experience?

Him going on and on about it would really piss me off though.

Secretly buy a butt plug to try on your own to give you a little indication of what it will be like. Other than that if he loves you he will respect your final decision.

Why the fuck should the OP buy a butt plug? She doesn't have to do it to keep him happy.

How very judgemental.
Hardly addresses the OP's legitimate question.
Some women enjoy anal, even demand it.
Do they watch too much porn?
Anything else you would diss them for?

Anal is mostly for the mans enjoyment. I doubt many women really get pleasure from having a penis shoved up their arse.

Am a man as you maybe have guessed.
Your latest post is yet another massive generalisation.
News to me that women are all the same/can be coralled so easily by you.
Still wondering whether i should quote certain women of my acquaintance on the topic/your mass generalisations.
Consent, informed, is of course vital - for both parties.

As a man, you would say that.