Anal

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Can’t quite believe I’m writing this…..

Absolutely not a troll, long term poster under this and other usernames. First post on sex board.

Ive recently got into a new relationship with a man who seems obsessed with wanting to have anal sex. Our relationship is good in the main but he does have a dominant side and I’m wondering if this desire is part of this. I’m in my late 30s and he late 40s so both experienced…. But I have never gone ‘there’

not going to lie - I want to please him but im scared - but also curious as to what it is that men find attractive about that route? Is it the dominance? The filthiness?! The, er, tightness? I just don’t get it tbh.

If you don’t fancy doing it, then don’t. Don’t do it to please him.

My wife and I tried it years ago a couple of times and it was OK. We tried it again recently (my wife bought a vibrating butt plug) and did it properly with lube and we both enjoyed it a lot more this time round.

I thought it nothing special before, hence the multi year gap before trying it again. But this time I'm looking forward to doing it again.

I'm a man and don't have the slightest interest in trying this. I suspect that porn is normalising it.

I'd have a go with a partner if she asked, as it can't hurt me, but I'd be a bit worried about the risk of hurting her.

Some guy resurrects a thread that's a year old to talk about anal? Surely there has to an easier way to get your kicks?!

Play nice folks.

I haven’t tried it myself, and couldn’t understand why some men are so into it. I read an article where they interviewed men who liked it, and the common thread in their responses was that they liked the feeling of getting a woman to do something that she isn’t into. If she does anal for you, even though she doesn’t like it nor want it, it’s a power trip.

I get this impression too

never done it, would never entertain the idea

if you don’t want to do anal don’t do it (same for anything were you are being coerced).

But…….. there are plenty of woman who enjoy the stimulation and can orgasm from Anal and also plenty of men too (straight and gay).

For me a vibrator in the vagina and a finger anally is a guaranteed orgasm.

Say your open to the idea but would want to peg him first to see the effects?

it is on the rise I think because of porn being more diverse and dark
I do like anal but it has to be with someone I trust for a lot of reasons; my partner knows if there is anal there is no sex after due to infections
sometimes no matter how careful you can be a little uncomfortable for a few days after on odd occasions when we have both got a bit umm carried away there can be light bleeding after a bowel movement
another good reason for being with someone you trust if you do have accidents its not so bad though still mortifying!

you should never ever do something you dont want to please someone else remember when you were a virgin and the boys at school were all trying to get you to sleep with them and you didnt want to take the leap? well unless it rings your bell hang onto your anal virginity

I like anal, and it's always me who asked for it with partners.

You need to take it very slowly at first and use lots of lube, but it feels amazing. If it's your first time you can always straddle him so you can control the depth and rhythm.

If it's not for you though make that very clear.

This is an old thread but... why do people think anal is gross?
There are some of us women who do actually like it and not because of p♟️n.

My wife and I both have other partners plus a couple we meet up with for fun, but anal is a complete no no for all of us.

I did it with an ex at university. He was mainly interested in getting his "brown wings"
It was in the spirit of experience for me, I didn't mind. But beware, the cum doesn't cum out in quite the same way as with PIV. For me, a train journey the next day and it was still there!;

@Sparrowball
I'm jumping on this old thread instead of starting a new but can I ask what lube you would recommend.
This is something that I'm wanting to explore and where better to ask the experts than Mumsnet :-)

We find the Lovehoney Enjoy lube to be good but to be honest its not just using the lube that helps. It might help to warm up so to speak with a plug/ small dildo first to make entry easier for the penis

Apply plenty of lube and go steady, a little bit more depth at a time and apply more lube if needed

I second this, you could also use an oil of you're not using condoms. That would obviously only be for a monogamous relationship.

Liquid Silk is the one you need

Thank you 🙏

I found that it's not all its cracked up to be (pun intended)

Like with anything you might enjoy you might not. Key is communication and not being pressured to do something your not comfortable with. Better 100 times saying no thanks than 1 time feeling you are not in your comfort zone

The Guardian had an article recently about a book coming out soon, Butt Seriously which I'm keen to read, it's written by a surgeon who apparently covers everything you'd ever need to know about bum stuff.

I like it personally but I wouldn’t do it to make someone else happy. My DH likes it but never pressures me and likes vaginal sex more. It’s a turn off when someone puts the pressure in like that OP, avoid!

It’s ether for you or it isn’t anybody else’s point of view is irrelevant
the only thing you need to do
is if you do give it ago it’s because you fancy trying it not because you want to keep someone happy