Killing Kittens age limit?

[Bengal12]

I am thinking about going to a KK party BUT I’ve heard that their cut off age is 45?
while I am slightly older, I (luckily) don’t look it but I would prefer not to fib about my age, it’s not a school disco!
Any experience of being rejected by KK for being too old?🙄

KK’s app is just a chatting platform. People can’t send you messages unless they connect with you - as in unless they ask for a connection and you agree.
They can put a few worlds into a message while asking for connection - is that an issue you have @WitheringTights000 ?
If you want a certain age limit - just spell it out very clearly in your profile. Or set the app such that you don’t see the connection requests from single men and only do the connections from your end?

@Heliodor As far as KK and being woman centred - at the parties men aren’t allowed to approach unless a woman does. On the app - it’s not regulated the same way. You can, if you want set it up so that you don’t get shown ‘likes’ from men.

KK doesn’t have the feeling of being men centred for money purposes.
Many women come there to experience F/F sexuality - so burlesque show isn’t somehow just for the men.
And if you want to have men piling up to have sex with you - it’s not really that difficult - and much easier to achieve by going to a regular pub wearing something revealing, You don’t need to go to a sex party for that.
Or go to Le Boudoir on a Fri night when single guys pile in.

@josuk - yes that's the issue. Getting a connection request with a rude message attached haha!

Just checked and my age range is up at 99 🙊🙊 ....I need to change that!

What Does the green dot beside someone's name mean that appears sometimes?

@WitheringTights000

Not sure about the green dot. Maybe they are online?
As far as the rude messages - take control and don’t let them come to you. Chose who you want to make connections with.
There are more single men than women on this app (and on apps like this) - so you have a choice.
Men, as we all know, will try it anyway and regardless of what you may say in a profile.
Or simply not connect with them.

I did have to chuckle at Heliodor suggesting 55 yo’s as being grandpa’s and being too old for sex though. I am in my 40s and have the other problem of men in their 30s clicking on our profile - and me not finding them attractive.
But this is why KK is great - there is a choice and people can find any combination of play partners they want.

Like any public forum there's a real mix of people. But it's easy enough to set your filters so you find what you're looking for.

Personally, I don't use KK like a typical dating app, scrolling through profiles. You might as well be on Tinder if you do that! I think it's impossible to gauge a person from a profile and a few photos. Instead, I hang out in the chat groups and see who piques my interest there. I'm more likely to connect with a guy if I can see he behaves well towards others. It's a chance to get to know people before sending a DM. I also check who he has connections or vouches from so I can get references from other women.

I laughed at the idea that 55 is too old. I've dated KK guys from 30 to 56 and their age has no bearing on how attractive I found them. A hot body is all well and good if you just want a hook up but, for me, I want an intellectual connection with my partners. Also, age is no indication of maturity... some younger guys have great emotional intelligence, whereas some older guys behave atrociously.

I tend to decline the vast majority of connection requests from strangers. And, on the odd occasion I've had an inappropriate message, I've reported it to KK admin.

There's a perception that women on a sex site will sleep with anyone but the opposite is true. There's so much choice that we can afford to be discerning and picky about who we engage with.

For me, the community and the social events have made a massive difference. I have a group of about 30 friends, many of whom know each other. We support and advise each other, we socialise, we play together in various settings. We introduce each other to new people with shared desires or kinks. So I might go to a KK party with the intention of meeting new guys but I'll almost certainly bump into some old friends to have fun with anyway.

.@Heliodor Rest assured, you'll probably be as irrelevant and unattractive as the rest of us when you get to your 50s. 🤣

@Estherpologist I'm not too far off 50, actually. Notice I didn't say that middle aged women are too old to be attractive. Appearance-wise, men don't put in nearly as much effort as we do, and by 55 it really shows.

There's a perception that women on a sex site will sleep with anyone but the opposite is true. There's so much choice that we can afford to be discerning and picky about who we engage with.

I've actually received much classier treatment from guys on casual dating sites than my friends have on Match.com. Like you say, @PinotPony , it's a supply and demand thing. On hook up apps, men have to compete hard to get laid, whereas on dating apps they seem to think they're hot property. 🙄

Whilst I've not seen them in less than lycra, there seems to be no shortage of healthy looking middle aged men round here at the weekend. (I couldn't vouch for their ability to hold a meaningful conversation. 🤔)

Yea I agree 55 in general is not too old and someone should be able to enjoy sex for as long as they want to regardless of age....BUT it is 25 years older than me so it is a little bit 😮😮....men that age sending crude messages to someone young enough to be their daughter 😅

I'm not a big fan of standard-shaming women who want to have sex with men they're physically attracted to. Would these 55 year old guys feel the need to explain why they weren't interested in shagging a woman 25 years their senior? Of course they wouldn't.

No shaming here... We all like different things and are looking for different experiences or connections. That's why it's great to have lots of choice!

I am not generally in the ‘defending men’ camp. But the issue I have with the discussion above - is less about men, and more about some sort of -ism…
(as much as I hate the wokeness, but maybe there is something to it)

No one should be shamed. It’s all about consent and mutual attraction.
No one needs to explain why they are attracted to someone sexy and of legal age - and I think most clubs/apps put lower age limit at 20 something.

So - i think it goes both ways. I don’t think a 50yo (of any gender) finding a 30yo (of any gender) attractive on a sex app needs to be justified, or explained.

The 30yo reaction doesn’t have to be justified or explained either.
It’s a completely free world - with clear rules of interaction and respect.

So - why shouldn’t a 55yo ‘want to shag someone 25 years younger’ @Heliodor ?
Who makes rules on what’s acceptable in attraction? And if there were a 30yo who found him attractive - should it somehow be not allowed?

Obviously - sex forums must have very strict rules for behaviour. And they are made clear to all participants.
So - if the messages are threatening/inappropriate in any way - @WitheringTights000 you must report those men.
But if your only issue is the age of the sender - while same message from a differently aged male would be OK - then, I am sorry - the issue is not the men here.
Not when your profile doesn’t specify an age range anyway.

Sex positive spaces like KK are meant for people to come together and find what
they are looking for without being judged - not what someone decided they should want or look for. And that cuts across looks, body types, age, kinks, etc.

It's inevitable that old men will find young women attractive. However, they need to realise that harassing young women with unsolicited sexual messages is unacceptable. Men who disregard women's sexual boundaries deserve to be scorned and ridiculed.

🤷🏻‍♀️ @Heliodor
You seem to be projecting something here.

Withering didn’t specify age range in her profile. Men of any age can send her a connection requests for the purposes of having sex. It’s a Sex app, not romantic flowers&butterflies dating sort of app.

Boundaries need to be clearly communicated - and only then you can scorn someone for not respecting them, if they do it knowingly.

@josuk women are just as entitled to be treated with respect and dignity on a sex app as anywhere else. What we're discussing here are obscene, unsolicited messages.

Misogynistic men tend to divide women into the flowers/butterflies type and the slut type, and then treat them accordingly. It's the age-old Madonna/whore dichotomy. Have you also internalised this view of women? You seem to think women who use sex apps are less deserving of basic respect and politeness.

Side note: this conversation is making it clear to me that KK is neither woman-centric nor for me!

Sorry if I have offended anyone on this chat.

I was just a bit 😮 as the messages were dirty/crude, they were not threatening in any way though.

I have been equally pissed off at messages like that from guys my own age on other apps.

I suppose I thought older men would be more polite?

And I do like I little romance and butterflies so maybe came to the wrong place!

Would still like to try the socials though

I'm aware of another London event which is CFNM (clothed female, naked male). The women dress conservatively and are served afternoon tea by naked men. The men pay to attend and their job is to facilitate, as unobtrusively as possible, the women's enjoyment of one another's company and conversation. This sounds like the antidote to KK.... If only I didn't find submissive men so repulsive!! 😂

@Heliodor

Every time you describe your vision of what women centric means to you - it does sound like a Femme Dom scenario.
Men fighting for the right to have sex with you; men serving you naked. Etc
Nothing wrong with that - all to their own.

This isn't what most women think as women-centric. KK is a place where people are treated as equal; with respect going both ways. It’s not a place where women dominate and men serve our desires.

@WitheringTights000 - you didn’t offend anyone. Takes time to figure out how to navigate this complicated web of various social interactions and figure out what you want.
I don’t know if KK is right for romance. I do know couples who met on KK, some even married. But it’s not the majority. And for many - it started originally as a sexual boundaries pushing sort of adventure. And then they ended up in love with their play partners. Some then stayed in ‘the scene’. Some go back to monogamy - but it’s not as easy after living in a more free sort of arrangement.

Crude messages are part of what happens. In a way - I see them as
a easy filter. Helps weed out the stupid men with no potential. I think on happens on all apps - even the regular dating ones.
Don't expect older men to be wiser, not as a group. Some, may be. But generally they don’t necessarily grow up.

@josuk- thanks for your message!

Yea maybe it's not the right place for romance, perhaps I'm a bit naive. I think I would struggle if I really really liked someone and they still wanted to play with others?!

It would bother me.

But a London move is good for my career so I think it looks like a great way to make friends with fellow kittens/attend some socials etc!

Every time you describe your vision of what women centric means to you - it does sound like a Femme Dom scenario. I'm actually quite submissive, with the right type of man. Submissive men make me cringe!

And for many - it started originally as a sexual boundaries pushing sort of adventure. And then they ended up in love with their play partners. This sounds rapey. Is it love, or Stockholm Syndrome??

@josuk I do agree that it's very clear that KK does not correspond with my notions of a woman-centred organisation. I won't be signing up because I have a rule that disrespectful men don't get a minute of my time, let alone access to my body! 😂 So it's over and out from me. Good luck all! 💕

@Heliodor - you could always sign up and just go to the girls meet ups?! Just for some fun

Thanks, that's a nice suggestion @WitheringTights000 💕 However, I don't think it's for me.

I might still go to my sex-dinner party thing. I'm a bit annoyed about having to pay, because I usually get men to pick up the bill for everything, but I suppose I will be attending as a single. I'll have a good chance to size the men up over dinner. If they're ugly or boorish, I can just slip away while things are still PG.

I wouldn't write KK off for romance. I met my DP there 3 years ago. What started off as a casual hook up developed into a relationship. There are many married couples on KK. If polyamory or ethical non-monogamy isn't your thing, you just need to say that.

You usually get men to pick up the bill for everything? Jeez I hope you're being ironic! 🤣🤣🤣😱

@WitheringTights000 - KK is a fun place to meet friends if you just moved to London.

Whether or not the non-monogamy lifestyle is for you - you don’t need to decide now. You can just enjoy life and learning about yourself. Explore a bit, etc.

At your age - I could not have imagined it being for me either. I needed to go through my other life stages, to arrive to it working for me atm.

Of course you can meet someone on KK, just like you can meet on Tinder or any other app. You don’t have to go to sex parties, etc.