Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Original poster

Dp flipped because i said no to sex

126 replies

Nat890 · 16/02/2023 22:59

Dp has been drinking all evening with friends and is a little bit worse for wear. I was in bed sleeping after a long day and also not feeling the best with tonsillitis, and my dc like to get up super early so im an early nighter anyway. Dp comes in bed and starts cuddling me, i know where it's leading so say not tonight im on my period. He kicked off big time. And starts saying 'I can het sex with anyone, i can just go out and have sex' i said look, you've had a bit to drink, come back to bed and when you get up you'll realise how silly your being. But no, continues to say it, slamming doors/drawers saying im full of shit. Ive stayed calm but im actually really annoyed how he has acted. How can he be mad at me for saying no! Never seen this side to him before. But it has really bothered and upset me.

OP posts:
Mxflamingnoravera · 17/02/2023 13:47

And in his case bin him off, he's violent when drunk- that's unsafe for you.

Surplus2requirements · 17/02/2023 14:20

@Nat890 is difficult to overstate how big a red flag this is.

Obviously you know him better than anyone but it sounds like he has no respect for you and sees you as something to use whenever takes your fancy.

To add insult to injury he is now punishing you when any half decent man would be horrified at their actions and pleading forgiveness.

What you do about it is up to you but please bear in mind his attitude and behaviour is only likely to get worse in the long term

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 17/02/2023 17:25

Did you go to your mum’s after school pick up? Has you ‘d’h spoken to you at all yet or still huffy that you have called him out?

Original poster
Nat890 · 17/02/2023 18:05

@OhBeAFineGuyKissMe I went back after school pick up to get a few bits and stayed over an hour while dc played with their toys and he didn't say a single word. Ive definitely gave him plenty of opportunities to apologise so guessing I won't be getting one which just confirms we're over. Back at my Mum's now and not expecting him to contact me. He's always been stubborn but this is more than that. This is not just him refusing to apologise, this is him defending his behaviour.

OP posts:
randomuser2019 · 17/02/2023 18:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Surplus2requirements · 17/02/2023 18:08

@OhBeAFineGuyKissMe good for you. Focus on yours and dc needs

Pssspsss · 17/02/2023 18:12

Good for you but… why have you moved you and the children out? Surely you should be kicking him out

Sparkybloke · 17/02/2023 18:37

As everyone else says...utterly awful behaviour...I'd advise making him an ex DP as soon as possible. Sadly it is all too common. The legend Loretta Lynn wrote a song about exactly what you experienced 50 years ago...."Don't come home a drinkin'". In the 21st century one would hope it was a thing of the past but sadly not it seems...

NCTDN · 17/02/2023 18:43

Does he know you've gone to your mums?

Original poster
Nat890 · 17/02/2023 18:56

@NCTDN ive not told him but think he'll guess im here.

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 17/02/2023 19:08

Pssspsss · 17/02/2023 18:12

Good for you but… why have you moved you and the children out? Surely you should be kicking him out

Because moving herself out is within her control.

Do you think this man would go meekly?

Willdenytothedeath · 17/02/2023 19:18

One thing that massively stood out to me, like a giant waving red flag, is that even though you say you've never seen this side to him before, you felt the need to lie (from the sound of it) and tell him you were on your period, rather than just saying no. This to me says that you are used to having to make up excuses, and that he doesn't just respect a 'no'

You also talk later about your arguments, which makes your relationship sound v volatile.

How he behaved was appalling, but I get the feeling that there's a lot more to it than this one event as well.

Jux · 17/02/2023 19:31

Good for you gor sticking to your boundaries. You will have to speak to him about this sometime though.

Hope you feel better soon, and strong enough to sort it out fair and square. Hope he's ashamed.

Original poster
Nat890 · 17/02/2023 19:35

@Willdenytothedeath I am on my period. It wasn't a lie. We don't argue very often but when we do, it just goes on and on with silly non relevant things getting brought into it. We have been in a really good place for a while. Almost in a love bubble since having another child so last night was WOW to me. Like where did that side of you come from.

OP posts:
Surplus2requirements · 17/02/2023 19:38

Jux · 17/02/2023 19:31

Good for you gor sticking to your boundaries. You will have to speak to him about this sometime though.

Hope you feel better soon, and strong enough to sort it out fair and square. Hope he's ashamed.

If he's not ashamed I struggle to see how it could be sorted out

SaturdayGiraffe · 17/02/2023 20:50

Haven't RTFT but as you're asking where it came from I wonder if he had an interaction on his night out (or previous ones). Something where he turned down an offer and maybe had some regret? This feeling could easily turn into resentment and anger towards you.

Surplus2requirements · 17/02/2023 21:22

SaturdayGiraffe · 17/02/2023 20:50

Haven't RTFT but as you're asking where it came from I wonder if he had an interaction on his night out (or previous ones). Something where he turned down an offer and maybe had some regret? This feeling could easily turn into resentment and anger towards you.

Or tired, drunk, stressed at work.... All excuses and not remotely acceptable

Carlycat · 17/02/2023 21:52

I'd bin the twat. What a vile toe rag

ProtectorExtraordinaryOfTheCantonsOfNim · 17/02/2023 22:05

Nat890 · 17/02/2023 18:05

@OhBeAFineGuyKissMe I went back after school pick up to get a few bits and stayed over an hour while dc played with their toys and he didn't say a single word. Ive definitely gave him plenty of opportunities to apologise so guessing I won't be getting one which just confirms we're over. Back at my Mum's now and not expecting him to contact me. He's always been stubborn but this is more than that. This is not just him refusing to apologise, this is him defending his behaviour.

Does he definitely remember what he did and said last night (I appreciate you've summarised the events of 24 hours in a few lines so haven't detailed that yet)?

MumOf2workOptions · 17/02/2023 22:21

Carryonroundthecorner · 16/02/2023 23:20

Absolutely not on.
What an utter tosser he is.
My first LTB.

I agree
Drink or no drink
That's un-acceptable

AuntieEntity · 17/02/2023 23:26

Actually OP, I found your post quite triggering. My ex used to do the slamming doors thing when he was drunk, mainly because he knew with DD and DSD in bed I would always back down to save them having to listen to it.

He would then not remember it in the morning (allegedly) and if I was upset, he would say I was dragging the issue out (and of course, that gave him another excuse to go to the pub).

Bin him. He's a twat and both you and your kids deserve better.

Zanatdy · 18/02/2023 19:31

I’d be absolutely fuming. Especially given he’s not even apologised or acted regretful. He clearly feels justified in his behaviour. It would be the end for me.

PinotPony · 18/02/2023 20:16

How're you doing OP? 💐

Original poster
Nat890 · 19/02/2023 07:03

@PinotPony I'm ok thank you for asking. Still haven't spoke to dp. He hasn't even tried to contact me regarding the children and how their doing. Once again showing his true colours.

OP posts:
OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 19/02/2023 07:40

What are your plans from here?

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.