Dp flipped because i said no to sex

[Nat890]

Dp has been drinking all evening with friends and is a little bit worse for wear. I was in bed sleeping after a long day and also not feeling the best with tonsillitis, and my dc like to get up super early so im an early nighter anyway. Dp comes in bed and starts cuddling me, i know where it's leading so say not tonight im on my period. He kicked off big time. And starts saying 'I can het sex with anyone, i can just go out and have sex' i said look, you've had a bit to drink, come back to bed and when you get up you'll realise how silly your being. But no, continues to say it, slamming doors/drawers saying im full of shit. Ive stayed calm but im actually really annoyed how he has acted. How can he be mad at me for saying no! Never seen this side to him before. But it has really bothered and upset me.

I hope you get a massive apology, he's totally out of order!

Gosh I think I’d be telling him to go out and find all that freely available sex and don’t let the door hit him on the way out!

That’s dreadful behaviour- he owes you a sincere apology and a promise that will never happen again.

His behaviour was completely unacceptable

That’s awful. I hope you are safe, OP.

That would be the end for me. I don't see why you needed to stay calm because he needed to be flung out.

What an utter arsehole.

My 2nd LTB in 10 years!!

Do not put up with this

This isn't 'silly'.

This is rapey.

It's also a sign of a drinking problem.

Well, now you know that your 'partner' is an abusive piece of shit and you need to kick him out.

I wouldn't want him anywhere near my dcs. Is it your house? Your tenancy?

Drunk or not this is unacceptable behaviour and I would not give him the opportunity to do this again.

Has anything like this happened before? I hope this isn't a pattern of behaviour from him. I know you say you haven't seen this side of him before but do you just mean the anger or do you mean trying to force you to have sex with him?

End it.

It's tempting to say
Go wank yourself silly then 😜

He is a twat 🙄

It's real nasty for him to treat you like a blow sex doll

You are not a paid up Adult films Porn star Actress for fffsxck !

Ive just woken up after forcing myself to sleep last night and he's in bed next to me like nothing happened. I think the reality has kicked in how he actually acted and what he said. We have a baby and two older children who were sleeping so that was the reason for staying so calm and not reacting to him last night. Can guarantee he'll stay sleeping while im up sorting dc for school. And more than likely make an excuse for his behaviour when he wakes. I feel absolutely hurt that he would want me to put his needs before my wishes or wants or 'he'll just go elsewhere'. When he wakes up ill be at my Mums. She's luckily got the space to accommodate my 3 children and I.

Morning OP. Good for you looking after your children, staying calm and getting the off to school. Yes get off to tour mums and deal with it then. Let us know how it works it x

Good morning OP, yes that’s a good plan. How dare he treat you like you’re there to be used as needed !
Alcohol is no excuse but it reduces inhibitions and takes off the mask.He’s shown you his true self.

Totally bang out of order! Is he usually a prick?

absolutely gross! The behaviour is disgusting, drink is no excuse! but what disgusts me more, is after the belittling and trying to coerce you, if you agreed, he would of had sex with you knowing you didn’t want to, entitled misogynistic arsehole at best, rapist at worst 🤮

Christ almighty. You're doing the right thing going to your Mum's. I expect he will try to minimise what he did.

Little update. He woke up and said 'you ok?' I said no, your a knobhead after what you did and said last night. And he has not said anything in response to that. We are now giving each other the silent treatment and he's acting like he's annoyed with me!! almost like he sees no wrong in his behaviour.

He taking the ‘pretend it didn’t happen route’. I’ve had that before too, it leads to resentment.

That’s really shitty behaviour. I would be putting some distance between myself and DH whilst I consider what I want to do.

Yes well, he won't be wanting to discuss his bullying and threats last night. He was hoping you would sweep it under the carpet. How annoying of you not to.

Prepare for lots of eventual 'didn't mean it' and 'I was drunk' by way of explanation and as far as he'll be concerned, closure.

If he seems annoyed with you, confront him. Stop tiptoeing around it.

Looking at this from a different angle. People normally say the truth when drunk and all their frustrations that they might bottle up come out. If you are not having regular sex perhaps this is the real issue here. Yes he's gone about communicating it in a horrible way, I'm not condoning this at all.

Just a thought.

Well done op
Have a think about what you want. Is he sexually coercive generally or is this the only time its happened?

You did well to keep yourself safe from his behaviour which was intended to frighten you into non consensual sex. This is far far across the line and its all on him, hope you get away OP.