Is oral sex a regular thing in your relationship?

[ihavezeroidea]

I'm married 17 years and I think DH has gone down on me 3 times in this time. I have giving oral too. I never read much into it until I read some of these posts and now I think we're freaks. Am I massively missing out?

My husband performs oral sex on me on nights we don't have penetrative sex. It's one or the other.

@Whammyyammy - Don’t you ever feel you’d like both?

We both do it every time

Up to you what you do 🤷‍♀️

Great to hear all the positive feedback from people on this. I really enjoying giving and it's interesting to hear the woman's perspective. I left a marriage where neither of us enjoyed (eg ever did) anything physical. I feel like I wasted so much time not being happy, or able to give and make my other half happy.

I initiated sex with a BJ last night. I didn't expect it back and I know he will do the same for me tonight. He always says he wants me to sit on his face. We like 69. I enjoy giving him oral, he seems to enjoy doing it to me. We communicate how we want it. Being on the pill killed it (no libido) so I'm pleased we have gone back to condoms. It's really difficult in the sense we have children. So we have a lock on the door and a strong cup of coffee a bit later in the day (weekends). I really fancy the pants off DH. Also, we make sure we are showered and clean before oral.

I adore it, and reading this is making me think about it 😆
im recently separated and wondering if I’ll ever experience it again

Nope. He doesn't like giving it
I'm clean and tidy down there
He's selfish in many other ways though

My wife and I take turns (both women). It's amazing and we love it.

As an aside, I don't understand why cunnilingus is seen as foreplay- since when is female orgasm foreplay? It's the whole event! Penetration isn't the only type of sex.

We do it a bit, but not often until one of us comes it's more of a foreplay thing!

For some it’s just a few mins as part of foreplay rather than bring to orgasm. I do sometimes cum but generally it’s part of foreplay (sex always starts out with him going down on me) and we have a few mins of that, sometimes I return the favour, sometimes he goes back to it - I absolutely love it.

Exactly like my wife.

DH gives me oral every single time - it's the easiest way for me to orgasm.

I give him oral sometimes, he loves it too but says he prefers PIV.

I certainly agree with @considerablycuntierthanyou that oral sex doesn't have to be 'foreplay' and makes a perfectly good main course too. Where I've had orgasms that are almost out of body experiences, they've all been via oral.

My mind was boggling at this metaphor, until I read the last sentence and the penny dropped that you are literally talking about the windows!!!!!!! 😂

For the pp who wanted advice about improving her bj technique this article is pretty good. www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a28591194/how-to-give-a-good-blow-job/

I agree that enthusiasm is a massive part of the turn on for men. I've had partners comment on my obvious enjoyment of giving oral. I also find that I give even better oral if he is stimulating me at the same time (he sometimes rigs up a wand so that it stays in place and I can grind onto it whilst sucking and licking his cock- I tend to want to take him deeper in my mouth if I'm writhing with pleasure myself). He's also got the best oral technique I've ever experienced, look up the Kliven technique, it works for me especially when combined with a finger (or two).

What works best for us is where I get the tip of my tongue, and the ball of my tongue stud, to work on his frenulum area. This seems to yield the most enjoyment for both of us and matters can come to fruition quite quickly. I'm not too keen on that vigorous head bobbing up and down action that you see in porn. I think that would make me feel dizzy after a short while. I'm not too keen on the term 'BJ' either. I'd rather think of myself as a skilled fellatrice!

@AlexaAdventuress where am I going wrong with the frenulum part? I don’t have a piercing but I try my best to stimulate the area. It doesn’t appear to give big sensations

It used to be more regular, definitely. We're 12, nearly 13 years in to our relationship and don't do it so much anymore. Not that we don't both enjoy it when we do! We do other things instead though, so I don't really think it matters, as long as we are still intimate and both getting pleasure.

@Judeisnotobscure well, your mileage may vary, as they say. Different people like different things, so sex is all about finding out what works for the particular person (or people!) one is playing with. My partner's a little 'tender', shall we say, so that sort of vigorous head bobbing motion would be a bit to abrasive for him to enjoy. I can sympathise, as I'm quite tender myself and the thought of those clitoral toys that go directly on the clit just make me want to cross my legs very hard. I like a gentle but high frequency motion with the flat of the tongue. But once again, other people have other ideas, clearly!

@ihavezeroidea I wouldn't have said that you were missing out until a few months ago,when I realised how lazy and frankly crap my previous sexual partner had been. Luckily for me I am now with someone who is brilliant at it and enjoys pleasuring me. I also seem to very much enjoy reciprocating when I was never that fussed before.

Way to bring out the mumsnet men!

@AlexaAdventuress thank you

Did at first but not anymore. Might get myself one of those rose things from love honey that everyone keeps going on about!

I would like to relax enough to enjoy receiving from the new man in my bed. Always happy to give a bj but I struggle to allow him (or anyone) to go down on me. I worry I take too long, taste yucky, don’t do whatever it is I am supposed to do…. This is rather made worse by this not being a menu item in my long marriage (divorced now) and my having turned down previous offers. I’d like to try and I know he is willing. Any ladies got suggestions for how to chill out and guys… you really DO enjoy doing this?

@XmasElf10 - If it was not an item in your previous marriage, it's time for it to be on the specials board now. As mentioned previously, I will not have sex with someone who will not go down on me. It's the Crème de la crème and certainly not yucky. "Suggest putting a pillow under your bum and just relax. The sensations are amazing.