Is oral sex a regular thing in your relationship?

[ihavezeroidea]

I'm married 17 years and I think DH has gone down on me 3 times in this time. I have giving oral too. I never read much into it until I read some of these posts and now I think we're freaks. Am I massively missing out?

We are "Sugar and spice and everything nice" - it's true!

I do it to my husband when I'm on my period. We have sex most days so I might give him a little bit but stop before he cums otherwise there would be no sex. But I'll do it to completion if intercourse isn't on the cards. He goes down on me rarely. He would like to do it more but it's not something I really enjoy and it's easier for me to orgasm in other ways. I like giving but I've always been a bit funny about receiving, not sure why. My advice would be if you're both satisfied then there's no need to compare yourselves to other people, but if you want to try new things then there's no harm in that.

Zanatdy, mind if I ask how old you are? You’ve definitely been missing out if that’s the first orgasm you’ve had from oral. Is your new bf the first bj you’ve given in a decade then too?

I’ve been single for a decade so no sexual contact at all. I’ve had oral sex before, but never until orgasm, only ever a few mins and the guy gives up

I’m 45 by the way - been having sex 30yrs plus minus 10yrs, well maybe 6yrs constant no sex but no relationship for 10yrs with poor oral. I don’t think it’s that uncommon women get crap oral sex!

Only 2 mins and then they wanted oral from you instead then probably, so selfish of them to not care about your enjoyment too! Sounds like you’re catching up on lost time now though and couldn’t go back to no oral 😏

Yeah I’ve had that experience with a few men. Never known one who likes giving oral sex before. I’m having a wonderful time!

@StarlightLady Totally agree! Happily married for a lot of years now I remember each of the girlfriends I had in my younger years. Oral intimacy was lovely - all subtly different physically (with the same basic parts, obviously!), taste, smell - which itself varied around the month - delicate, musky, womanly.

Such a pleasure - which I guess is as nature intended. It's no wonder so many men are so keen to do it.

Of course I think DW is the best of all!

Having spent a long time in a sexless marriage (which was caused by
me not fancying him) I ended up drifting to seek adventures elsewhere (wrong I know but it happened) 😳 and he gave me oral and used his fingers so amazingly. I could never let my husband do it. Tbh, he was so crap at everything anyway he probably didn’t have a clue what to do! I realised, with the other guy, what an important part of foreplay this was and how much it turned me on. I also realised how much I enjoyed playing with him and what a little tease I was 🤪😛.

I ended my marriage btw.

If I could find a man who knew what he was doing that would be great, I do go own on a partner but less enthusiastic when I know it's going to be shit when it's my turn.

Every time, or close to it - its a huge part of our sex life in a variety of positions and situations. I believe you are missing out though everyone's different so hard to truly judge.

I'm amazing at giving oral so every single time.

I've (m, 31) loved to go down on my partners (female, usually 35-45) and do it so long as they enjoy it. It brings us closer together and I love that the person I care about enjoys something. I'd say definitely a few times a week.

yes absolutely (married to DW for 12yrs), I love giving it to her and receiving, probably once a week as part of foreplay and we try to have one night a week of just that for each other. She evidently doesn't 'love' giving, but doesn't mind, keeps referring to it being called a 'job for a reason' 😐which isn't the biggest turn on. I'm not allowed to finish in her mouth, which I fully respect and ask maybe once a year in case she has a mind change. Off topic a little, but she gives a good blowjob but really can't get much of me in her mouth. I don't push it or anything as I'm just glad to get them but would love to know what's it's like having the sensation further down. I'm not sure if any ladies have any tips how I can ask without annoying her or seeming ungrateful? We're not kinky, I'm not looking for gagging. I'm normal girth but long with a very large tip, which I guess is the problem. She only get's a couple of inches down me and I'd love to feel more but also happy to accept that's the way it is. Not sure how to approach it

I enjoy receiving oral but it’s not my favourite thing, my husband would go down on me every day if I asked him to. We have sex practically everyday and I give him oral most times as a form of foreplay, he doesn’t cum from oral alone. Weirdly I love it when he cums in my mouth.

@yorkshireteabagman have you tried different positions, perhaps entering your wife’s mouth from a different angle might allow her to take more of your length? However her ‘job for a reason’ comment makes me think it’s a psychological rather than physiological issue.
Lovehoney do a Headmaster Double Texture BJ stroker which might help, then your wife could just focus on the tip.

Yea sort of, but not particularly to see if she can get further down. I let her lead on position, which tends to be the same most times, the one she's more comfortable with 'doing the job'....which yea it's psychological. I periodically ask if she could do some deeper ones, which get's no response and doesn't feel deeper, although she might be trying?! I just leave it. She's excellent with a hand and mouth combo and can finish me easily so I don't complain. I definitely wish she actually liked doing it for me though, I don't personally get any kicks from doing it to her but I like it because she does. If she asked for it everyday I would do it for her no problem....but I'd be packing my bags if I asked the other way round 😆I've no idea how hard these things are to get down, so I'll just take what I'm given. Previous relationships are a distant memory, so I've no basis for comparison on technique

@yorkshireteabagman hmmm it’s tricky, I guess you either like doing it or you don’t!! How about trying a flavoured lube to switch things up a bit? Ok, so personal question for you to consider but don’t reply to 😬! Are your pubic hair choices definitely to your wife’s satisfaction?! Neatly trimmed tends to be more appealing from a bj perspective

An appeal to men who like to receive.

Being a woman of a certain age (40s), I have come across 1 or 2 male appendages (OK, maybe more) in my time.

Should I wish to, I am usually able to bring a man to conclusion hands free and have learned where the sensitivities lie in the head and just below.
But please, it is not about how much length you can get into a someone’s mouth. I suspect this is porn inspired. We all have a gag reflex along the way, respect that.

Unless you are into more unusual things, oral sex, like all sex should be passionate and comfortable for all. It is not about trying to squeeze a quart into a pint pot.

And whilst I’m on the subject please remember that the clitoris is the principal female sex organ; learn to understand how she works and love her.
She is far more technical than anything you own.

Yep definitely, always super trimmed (almost none) and clean, circumcised too. I look after myself and so does she. I'm 100% sure it's not a case of not liking it otherwise she wouldn't do it, but just a case of it doing nothing for her. She get's no pleasure in giving the pleasure, but has no problem giving the pleasure! I think she's possibly in the majority of women bracket for that one, I doubt there's a higher percent of ladies who genuinely love it, but I could be wrong. There was flavoured lube involved in the early days, hazy memory but not sure either of us were bothered.

In my opinion flavoured lube tastes like the worst sweets you can but in a sweet shop. Give me people tasting like people any day.

In my (not huge) experience a women's enjoyment varies a great deal. I had several girlfriends before I was married one of whom was just not into giving BJs at all and another who actually had orgasms herself whilst doing it!

I've been married for a lot of years now to my DW who generally enjoys it but much more so when she's in the mood, very turned on herself, relaxed and not feeling the pressure to do it just because I fancy it when she might be feeling tired etc.

How can you learn to give a good blow job?
Re entering this world and it's not been a part of previous life for a very long time.

How can you learn to give a good blow job?
Re entering this world and it's not been a part of previous life for a very long time.

My experience is the same pretty much. She's licked it once or twice and tried it once for 2 seconds. I had excuses and promises for just over 20 years until she said her first boyfriend made her do it when she didn't want to so will never try it again and basically I'm never allowed to mention blowjobs again.

I go down on my wife as often as she's in the mood which isn't often. She loves it and has screaming orgasms but when I'm not down there she's not fussed. She likes kissing during piv and hates the taste after I've gone down on her so that's another reason she avoids receiving.

Unfortunately the rest of her life has similar levels of anxiety and avoidance. Counselling would probably help overall but she'd rather avoid that deal with issues.