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Original poster

Lingerie - really hot or trying too hard

90 replies

Kitten2 · 26/05/2022 09:43

My ex used to say he wanted me to wear lingerie.

We had a fairly casual, mostly sexual 6month relationship. It has recently ended.
I never did go full in with the lingerie. Just a nice bra / thong set. He wanted the suspenders, heels etc but I felt like it was a bit much just to be at the house. All dressed up like that.

But now someone I have just started speaking to has already mentioned he loves a woman in lingerie... so maybe it's a bigger deal than I thought. Do I throw myself in to it this time!? And not worry about looking a bit 'much'

OP posts:
Catullus5 · 26/05/2022 10:35

It's hot.

theotheralf · 26/05/2022 11:48

why don't you go out smart for a meal and have lingerie on underneath as a surprise, perhaps tease during the meal - that is very sexy . may make you feel more relaxed and enjoy the experience ?

Perplexed0522 · 26/05/2022 12:06

My husband is ALWAYS talking to me about wanting to see me in sexy lingerie.

There is no way I have the body confidence to try it though. I’m not averse to the idea at all, and back in my pre-children days I would have completely embraced it, but I definitely don’t have the body for it anymore. In my opinion anyway.

GentlemanJay · 26/05/2022 12:13

Go with it. He will be putty in your hands.

Original poster
Kitten2 · 26/05/2022 12:32

I guess I don't really understand what it is about it that is such a turn on?!

Why are men so keen on it

OP posts:
SparklingStars10 · 26/05/2022 12:42

My DH loves it when I dress up. Leaving it on during sex can be a nice change. Enjoy it and embrace your body.

Sparkybloke · 26/05/2022 14:35

Everyone is different and if it's not for you then don't do it. Speaking as a bloke it is sexy. Accentuates curves. Leads the eye. Reveals but leaves things covered for both the anticipation and the fun of removing...I love it...I suspect most men do...

warofthemonstertrucks · 26/05/2022 14:53

My DP LOVES it. I sometimes do it at home on an average week night to surprise him, and pretty much always wear it if we go away gut the weekend or whatever.

Furrbabymama87 · 26/05/2022 15:11

I do it now and again and he likes it. It's never on for long though as he can't wait to get me naked.

Perplexed0522 · 26/05/2022 16:38

What is actually classed as lingerie though as opposed to just normal sexy underwear?

Corsets and stockings? That kind of thing?

Original poster
Kitten2 · 26/05/2022 17:13

Corsets and stockings? That kind of thing?

Great point.
Yes, from what I hear it's stockings, corsets or some kind of bodice thing. Plus heels. I suppose those baby dolls or similar might count too but I'm not sure

OP posts:
Namechanged1010 · 26/05/2022 17:16

Well up to you what you do. I must admit worrying about feeling embarrassed or self conscious when I first tried it..I always wore nice underwear sets for a date night, night out etc but he hinted he would like me to wear something more risqué so I tried one night when we went out, had on stockings and suspenders when I would normally wear hold ups and a really sexy bra (tried a half cup). He got really excited when I hinted what might come later and I loved the enthusiasm to get home later lol. Was worth it as we had a really lovely session in bed after he removed my dress on the way upstairs!

After that it gave me the confidence gradually to try more risqué, so different stuff, like a basque etc and graduated to a nice but risqué set one which was sexy stylish but open fronted. Combining that with being fully waxed meant he really appreciated it....Had a very long session whereby he spent a long time giving me oral in a very slow and erotic manner. He even came twice he was that turned on

So I would say try it but go gradually at a pace that suits you

Catullus5 · 26/05/2022 19:26

Kitten2 · 26/05/2022 12:32

I guess I don't really understand what it is about it that is such a turn on?!

Why are men so keen on it

Because it shows body confidence, it shows you're up for it, you want to give him a good time, you don't mind being gazed upon and objectified just a little. It's just a massive, massive invitation to jump right in and apart from that you will simply look great.

Stockings can be a faff, but then he can strap you in as part of foreplay.

jamesspaderismine · 26/05/2022 22:29

I totally didn't get the obsession with sexy lingerie but I've recently started embracing it.

My new guy goes absolutely crazy for it when I wear a shirt dress and give a flash of stocking when we are out.

I feel amazing in this and I'm a 14-16

https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sexy-lingerie/lingerie-sets/basques-corsets-bustiers/p/lovehoney-treasure-me-black-push-up-basque-set/a40915g74549.html

Go for it! Wink

Catullus5 · 27/05/2022 00:01

Just about all of us- both women and men - wear clothes we think make us look good, ie, things that fit and suit our figure. Lingerie isn't really any different, it's just that it's purpose is to make you look sexy rather than just nice. I don't think the reason for its appeal is any more complicated than that.

SparklingStars10 · 27/05/2022 08:09

Catullus5 · 26/05/2022 19:26

Because it shows body confidence, it shows you're up for it, you want to give him a good time, you don't mind being gazed upon and objectified just a little. It's just a massive, massive invitation to jump right in and apart from that you will simply look great.

Stockings can be a faff, but then he can strap you in as part of foreplay.

Show quote history

Or keep the stockings on, my DH has loved this in the past.

Sclover0604 · 27/05/2022 13:00

My DP loves it and as an overweight woman I always avoided it with previous partners, but my current DP has boosted my self confidence so much as he constantly tells me how gorgeous I am and how he loves my curves that I went for it.
it’s such a huge turn on for me to see the look in his eyes and leads to some of the best sex I’ve ever had!
Greeting him at the door one time in a see through baby doll and stockings & suspenders gave me the most memorable night of my life!

balalake · 27/05/2022 15:39

I find it strange myself. Never worn any clothes whilst having sex, so the quicker both naked the better.

Knackeredmommy · 27/05/2022 16:07

I think men are more visual. My DP loves lingerie.

Catullus5 · 27/05/2022 21:37

DW has a corset and she tells me that being tightly laced into it improves sensations. Another reason for keeping things on.

StarlightLady · 28/05/2022 06:45

I probably spend more on nice underwear than l should. It helps me feel good about myself knowing l have taken trouble underneath it all. I always buy 2 pairs of matching knix with a new bra for example, l aspire to match each day, but it does not always happen. I try to wear things that go together though.

But l do not wear anything in the bedroom that l would not wear underneath on an average day.

Original poster
Kitten2 · 28/05/2022 10:08

But l do not wear anything in the bedroom that l would not wear underneath on an average day.

I think it's more than a bra / knicker combo.
I'm similar to you too, but I think what's wanted is the more OTT stuff so corsets, suspenders and so on (what else there is I don't know, tbh 😅)

OP posts:
MagicSong · 28/05/2022 14:09

I think there’s a time and a place for all the faff, but lingerie can be incredibly empowering…

One of my favourite memories involves dressing up for a dinner with a newish bf (friend of a friend) and another couple we were both friends with. I bought a really pretty lingerie set from one of the designers at Debenhams range (so not particularly expensive) and wore it under a lovely black Reiss dress. Full stockings, thong that tied with pretty ribbons at the sides, suspenders, heels. My hair and make up looked great and I felt amazing.

At this point we hadn’t slept together. During dinner I put my bf’s hand on my thigh and he realised what he could feel underneath my dress. It was the quickest dessert I’ve ever had before heading back to my apartment 😂

Then when we got back, I asked him to close the curtains, turn on the lamps, choose music etc. I went into the kitchen and poured 2 glasses of wine, whipped off my dress and walked into the living room holding just the wine glasses. I wish I’d had a camera to capture his reaction haha. It was never going to be a long-lasting thing, as I was on secondment for work and ended up moving a few weeks later, but it’s an amazing memory and I felt like a goddess!!

The next day my girl friend who had been at dinner with us called me to ask what had happened, as she had overheard her bf talking to mine on the phone and all she could hear was “no way, tell me again, what happened next, no way” 😂

Catullus5 · 29/05/2022 03:44

Kitten2 · 28/05/2022 10:08

But l do not wear anything in the bedroom that l would not wear underneath on an average day.

I think it's more than a bra / knicker combo.
I'm similar to you too, but I think what's wanted is the more OTT stuff so corsets, suspenders and so on (what else there is I don't know, tbh 😅)

From what you say, what jamesspaderismine linked to above would be what he's hoping to see.

StarlightLady · 29/05/2022 07:46

To add, l’m a fairly regular stocking/suspenders wearer in spring and autumn, with dreaded but snug opaque tights in winter and bare legs in summer.

The secret is to have a good quality belt (recommend Fantasie brand) designed for day to day wear rather than the bedroom. Their misguided sleaze image by some has not helped either. Yet most of our grandmothers if not our mothers wore them.

But when it’s time for passion l don’t want any fabric about the place.

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