Lingerie - really hot or trying too hard

[Kitten2]

My ex used to say he wanted me to wear lingerie.

We had a fairly casual, mostly sexual 6month relationship. It has recently ended.
I never did go full in with the lingerie. Just a nice bra / thong set. He wanted the suspenders, heels etc but I felt like it was a bit much just to be at the house. All dressed up like that.

But now someone I have just started speaking to has already mentioned he loves a woman in lingerie... so maybe it's a bigger deal than I thought. Do I throw myself in to it this time!? And not worry about looking a bit 'much'

@StarlightLady , Hi I wear stocking all year too, Thrush and what not in my 20s put me off tights. Switched to 6point set for all day at office with a wide belt. Very comfortable. Have made my own. But it is fiddly! takes ages!!!
For winter, try cutting legs out of warm tights, then add a band for suspender to grip. Sometimes do this trick with coloured tights.

@Kitten2 If all this is very new to you. No need to go all or nothing. Get used to wearing one or two things under everyday clothes. Go shopping in stockings.
Walk around the house in heels and a basque If possible. You will walk, move and sit differently.

@hummerbird - No shoes worn in this house ever! They are left just inside the door.

Plus l never wear heels.

No complaints to date!

I can kind of understand why they like it. They are very visual I think. I dont like the idea of putting on a sexy look. I hate the whole idea of dressing up for men. Feels like being an object.
Besides, I wouldnt be able to stand having any scratchy lace on. I wear simple everyday underware and wouldnt feel ok in anything else.

Hi @StarlightLady, I take your point about no shoes in your house.
Without heels I am not at the right level when bending over the table.
Were you on a thread, I think last year about outdoor activities?

So far it's been too cold and paths too overgrown.

Scratchy sewing is off putting. When younger and slimmer, I used to have good quality basques, that fitted properly. Soft material and well finished seams felt feminine and mine. Not merely a performance outfit.

I love dressing up in gorgeous lingerie. It makes me feel sexy as hell and I've never had anything other than positive reactions from partners.

There's so much choice out there. Something for everyone. After a brief dalliance with latex, which was short lived as I didn't have the patience to squeeze into it and polish it(!), my absolute favourite now is Honey Birdette. Unfortunately my bank balance only stretches to an occasional purchase..!

Wore this to a party recently and had so many lovely comments... 😍

I want to buy some sexy lingerie to wear for my DH as a surprise treat but I don’t know where to start.

I don’t have the figure for anything as beautiful as what the woman in the image is wearing, but I want to make an impression.

I’m thinking of just letting my husband pick the outfit.

Noooo...half the fun is in the surprise!

If you're lacking in confidence, why not look at some babydolls, basques or bodies..? That might give you a bit more coverage.

Pour Moi have some beautiful lingerie....

Anything that would hide a c-section pouch (I’ve had two) would suit me!

That’s the only part of my body that I don’t like displaying really.

Agreed that I find it massively erotic to see how happy my bf is when he discovers there is something a bit special under my dress. I don’t view it as being objectified at all. It’s lovely. He is particularly keen on bare flesh between the top of a stocking and knickers and loved lacy hold ups nearly as much as stockings and suspenders. Ann Summers do nice black hold ups that have a kind of lace up thing.
@Perplexed0522 i have a tummy pouch so tend to buy knickers or suspender belts that cover it a little. @StarlightLady off to look at Honey Birdie now 😀

I don’t mean to divert the conversation away from lingerie but as you mentioned it, I thought I’d ask. Is your c section scar above your public line, or below, as I’ve noticed those who have it above the pubic line, are more likely to have a c section pouch? Hope you don’t mind me asking!

It’s above my public line but isn’t every woman’s scar above her pubic line?!

Where the surgeons incise is an inch or so above the pubic line.

No myn is about 2 cms below my pubic line but the women that I know that have had c sections have scars a few inches above their pubic line. I have no idea why myn is so low. I did have a vaginal birth prior to my c section, so I wonder if that’s why!

I genuinely can’t imagine how a scar can be below the pubic line??

Obviously not arguing with what you’re saying, I just find it baffling.

I think I need a picture (hand drawn sketch, not a photo) of where your scar is so I can put my confused mind at peace 😂😂😂

@Perplexed0522 It looks like it’s called a low transverse, although the images don’t seem accurate because the incision lines seem higher in most women, I’ve also noticed how some scars are much longer in length. It’s strange how they all vary so much, I’m wondering if it has something to do with the positioning of the uterus and the baby.

Wow - this is what my scar is like in term of positioning.

And it’s about 13cm long.

By the way, these aren’t my actual dimensions, lol - if o had a figure like the one in my drawing I would have no problem wearing lingerie 😂

I think men are very visual when it comes to stuff like this. For me, it's all about the thrill and the tease and the slow reveal.

It's common that most men can be mesmerised by the sight of a woman in stockings, suspender belt and heels.

I've been strongly aroused by women in lingerie from such a very early age. I happened to be present when a group of Mums tried on new lingerie when over at a friends house. They thought I was reading a comic. But I was paying close attention. First time I'd ever seen women in black underwear, basques, babydolls, stockings, suspenders, high heels, robes - the full works.

I find it accentuates the shapes and curves of her body. It's also a massive thrill to be teased with 'I'm wearing something special for later' - it's just a touch of spark and excitement and we all need that I think?

My wife wasn't a 'wearer' and didn't own much pretty or even sexy lingerie when we first met. She asked me what I liked and I summoned the courage to be totally honest and say 'I like this' (stockings and suspenders) and "I like to see this too' (a flash or hint of a pretty bra). That went well, and we soon went shopping together to get a whole haul of stuff in.

There was a time when I used to get home from work and find her in the kitchen wearing basque, stockings and heels with just an apron on top. Trust me, it's amazing to see and the food either got eaten very quickly or maybe over cooked once or twice!

I draw the line at 'stronger' stuff like bondage or fetish gear. Personally I'm not into rubber, leather, or latex or anything like that. But yep, show me you're wearing something pretty or lacy or silky underneath and you've sort of got me..!

To the OP, give it a go, you won't know until you try.

I spoke to my DH last night and he said he’d love to see me in some kind of sexy lingerie that includes my bum being out 😂

I might just be brave and have a look.

Something where my boobs and bum are out and that hides my mid-riff.

Ive tried stockings in tut past but I find the tops just dig into my thighs which causes things fat to hang over the top of them and it looks ridiculous.

Im assuming suspended belts stop that from happening though??

@Perplexed0522 - Poor quality thrown together suspender belts, designed for bedroom fun are one of those things that give stockings a bad name and cause discomfort. You need to look for an established brand; I recommended Fantasie similar to this previously
www.fantasie.com/uk/en/lingerie/accessories/suspenders/c/1016/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5qud5_KL-AIVhobVCh0p2wrAEAAYASAAEgJzrPD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

suitable for day to day wear.

Things to look for are, at least a 2 or better still 3 hook fastening at the back (single hook fastening dig in and are uncomfortable) and metal clasps (plastic stretches and becomes impractical).

I still think that it's fine to go out in (I sometimes wear them to work) but come the moment things are best all off!

Mine too @Catullus5 .She says the constriction of her organs by her corset turns her on. It's probably true to say she gets more out of it than me but I do find it erotic and she likes me admiring her in it. It changes her body shape radically.
Add a pair of impossibly high heels -good for the bedroom and nowhere else as a woman friend once said -and we're good to go.
The combo makes for inventiveness when it comes to sex positions.

I can’t work out whether having to pause the activities to unclip all the suspenders straps in order to get the knickers off might be a bit of a passion killer? 😂

I’d recommend having a look at Brazilian knickers @Perplexed0522

My abdomen is a disaster area with abdominal surgery scars and 2 c-sections.

I recently discovered Brazilian Knickers which give more coverage than a thong and are high cut at the waist so cover the bad bits, but still show a bit of bum. I feel much more confident in these than in the bits of string that sit at the back of my undies drawer and are never worn