Lingerie - really hot or trying too hard

[Kitten2]

My ex used to say he wanted me to wear lingerie.

We had a fairly casual, mostly sexual 6month relationship. It has recently ended.
I never did go full in with the lingerie. Just a nice bra / thong set. He wanted the suspenders, heels etc but I felt like it was a bit much just to be at the house. All dressed up like that.

But now someone I have just started speaking to has already mentioned he loves a woman in lingerie... so maybe it's a bigger deal than I thought. Do I throw myself in to it this time!? And not worry about looking a bit 'much'

Far be it from me to pretend to expertise in this department, but I believe the knickers go on last...!

When I’m in suspenders I either wear a thong that can be er moved to the side. Or you just unclip the back of the belt and take them all off together without unclipping the stockings. No slower than taking off tights or trousers

They can! No knickers and a suspender belt & stockings is much appreciated here 😂

Knickers go over suspenders. Otherwise, forget other things how do you wee?

Can’t believe how clueless I am over suspenders 😂

So knickers on top, or no knickers at all…..

I think I know what my DH would prefer 😂

Crotchless knickers = problem solved!

Just mind where you put your feet when you're putting them on....!

I’m considering this as my first ever go at lingerie.

I think it’s sexy but also quite mild so hopefully I won’t feel too ridiculous.

There’s also potential to keep my c-section pouch contained too…

@Perplexed0522 , I think that looks very pretty. Would look good I am too big for that.
This looks good as well.
www.marksandspencer.com/pleat-and-lace-corset/p/clp60541712?color=LILAC&prevPage=srp

PS: Am I the only one who finds the very thought of crotchless knickers tacky beyond what words can describe?

@StarlightLady, I would not have been so adamant as you, but IKWYM.

No knickers at all is not tacky IMHO.

My outfit should arrive tomorrow so I’m looking forward to trying it on.

I have a feeling that I’m going to have to squeeze myself into it and probably have to go knicker-less. I would prefer that than have my c-section pouch rolling over the top of the knickers.

It’s so crap being a woman sometimes and having to try and live up to the sexy ideals that we are expected to be.

Nonsense! You've chosen something great. I'm sure you will look ideal to your DH.

I find lingerie really hot, but only recently ever went into ann summers type places.
When we had dual-income-no-kids-yet I had lots of lingerie from Agent Provocateur, La Perla and Rigby Peller etc. Even went shopping in Paris Gallery lafayette has lovely choice.
Now I normally like Myla (on sale!). Not snobbish, I just like the designs more and they are a lot more flattering then a lot of cheaper belts etc.
Although I got a nice set in burgundy pvc from Ann summers recently. I think their lace isn't too good, but this was bondage inspired and looks great with hold ups.

Orrrrr full pjs. Just way comfier. Just saying. Been with my husband ten years and never wore anything like this. Pjs to bed every time!

I think it scares my DH😂 and never stays on long enough so pjs to bed

Slightly off topic but: Has anyone bought from 'Light In The Box'?
Some of their Lingerie looks tempting but I presume it is made in China, sizing might be erratic. They also show shirt-waister dresses and rather brief pole dancer exercise shorts. I did look at pics, DH is still laughing!

Well my outfit came today and so I tried it on and it made me feel like shit.

All I kept looking at was my c-section pouch.

I ended up just taking it off before I started crying.

I'm really sorry you went through that. There's always a moment of truth with new clothes that can set you back.

All I'd say is that you're trying to do a nice thing, wherever you've been sent isn't right but it doesn't mean there's no point in having another go.

"Well my outfit came today and so I tried it on and it made me feel like shit.

All I kept looking at was my c-section pouch.

I ended up just taking it off before I started crying."

Oh I'm sorry. It was just not the right outfit for you. There will be something better out there that makes you feel amazing

Hopefully not!

Early in our relationship my DH told me he loved it (my XBF had never mentioned it as a preference so it was new for me). I played along for a few years but frankly found it uncomfortable and made me feel objectified. I worried that if I didn't wear it he wouldn't find me sexy anymore, which is basically sad and an awful way to feel. Eventually I stood up to him and said I don't like it. He persisted in buying it for me for a few years but he has now got the message.

So I don't do it anymore except for a nice comfortable but sexy nightie I take on weekends away. I get that some women enjoy it but I don't. If you don't enjoy it don't let him pressure you. I regret that I let my DH pressure me for so long.

I think that's such a shame you feel pressured to do something you don't feel comfortable in. Just don't do it! Are we not enough for our partners naked or in a state of undress with normal clothes e.g. I have always thought a jumper and knickers is quit racy, or a bra on but no knickers - something about the surprise of the other half of your body being exposed.

I think it’s that ‘extra effort’ they like! You’re a present they can unwrap!
i would say if you feel a bit shy, maybe wear it on a regular day first to get used to it, & then go for it!
I’ve got bits that are really pricey from agent provocateur & really cheap from asda. You don’t have to spend a lot of money.

(only do it if you are happy to, nobody should make you feel you have to) x