How do you orgasim?

[tooembarassedtosay]

I starting to wonder if I have a defective doo-dah... 😂 seriously tho I can't seem to reach an orgasim with my husband. I know when I masterbate alone it feels good and i enjoy it but am I orgasiming then or does it just feel good? How do you know if it's an actual orgasim and how do i go about my quest for one? We have bought some toys to experiment with which is fun but I really want to experience the big o!!!! Any tips welcome, and sorry if it's TMI 🙈

---

If you've found this page in your search of the best sex toys that can help you achieve orgasm and have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex toys for women useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

I think if you're not sure you've orgasmed then you haven't quite reached it yet. It's hard to describe but its a rush of intense pleasurable release with spasms in the pelvic area that you can't control.
I was only able to come clitorally for years though fingers or toys but I can now orgasm through penetration without clitoral stimulation. It sounds weird but the key for me is having a full bladder and then doing a position that allows for maximum penetration. It creates more pressure in the area and feels amazing.

And when masturbating it's essential to be in the mood. Looking at or thinking about something that turns you on because
as they say, the brain is the biggest sexual organ.

Thanks son much for your reply, and your advice! I guess maybe I've only had maybe mini orgasims then, albeit that it feels great. Isn't the female body a funny thing ?!? My hubby got me a clit sucker but im finding it hard to use. Whilst it's okay I don't find it out of this world exciting which he's disappointed in after thinking he solved all my problems lol lol maybe I need to play about with it to find what I like.

Try a rabbit. I think they're the best.

For what it's worth, this is how I'd describe orgasms, clitoral ones that is. There are big, eye-rolling, back-arching, involuntary moaning orgasms which look as though you're having a demon exorcised and then there are little, momentary, fluttery ones, which are over in few seconds and afterwards you think 'Was that it!?' (I will get disappointing mini orgasms if I'm tired, stressed, drunk or have been masturbating compulsively and exhausted my clit). The similarity between the two is the build up and the feeling you get in that split second just as you start coming. As you're masturbating, it won't just feel good, it will feel as though a pressure, intensity. or neediness is building up. As you get closer to the edge, there's an ever greater feeling of urgency and sometimes a fleeting conscious thought like 'oh I don't want to cum yet this feels too good', then your body takes over and a moment later you're going over the precipice and losing all control. This is when your vagina (and womb) pulses. If it's a big orgasm it will feel overwhelmingly good, while a small one might be a bit anti-climatic and 'meh'. Does that sound at all like what you've experienced?

I've only ever cum ONCE with a man vaginally in 1999. Since then it's been only me that has been able to make myself orgasm!

The rabbit was a good one to start with but now 'The Satisfyer' is most definitely the way forward.

It's so freaking intense.Toe curling, body shaking, clitoral spasms... I am rendered useless for a good 5 mins after!

Bit of a thread derail, but @Fentylipgloss, what do you think the difference was between the time when you came vaginally and the times you didn't?

@Rocaille

Fluke! One time and one time only. No one in 23 years has got remotely close.