Condoms and cumming

[Annwen]

Since having DD in December DP and I have just been using condoms - I don't want to use anything hormonal because we're thinking of trying for another baby towards the end of the year. There is a problem though - DP can hardly ever cum when he's wearing his condom. This also causes problems for me, not only do I get a bit sore from the prolonged thrusting, but I've always tended to have my orgasm straight after a guy's cum inside of me, whether in a condom or not, so I hardly ever cum during sex any more and DP has to 'finish me off' with fingers or tongue, which is just not the same for me. I used condoms all the time when I was single and can't remember any of the guys I dated having this problem - some of them just came too quick!
Anyone else come (unintended pun!) across this problem, and any ideas for possible solutions?

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If you've found this page in search of condoms that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best condoms useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Condoms do reduce sensitivity. I usual come but not always. Certain positions that squeeze/grip when inside help. Doggy from behind for example..let him penetrate you with your legs together or bring them together with him inside you. Refraining from sex for a few days helps. Masturbate him close to orgasm a couple of times before penetration too..
Try a different condom. Really thin ones are available.

Wearing a condom has a couple of disadvantages.

It definitely reduces sensitivity

It looks ridiculous

There is for some men a psychological distaste for it

Putting them on can "break the flow" of your amorous experience.

Put a combination of these factors into the mind and then you can add in performance anxiety as the guy starts to stress about whether he's going to be able to come, which is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I, like your DP, can very rarely come using a condom

I would change the condom that you use. Try ribbed, thin, sensitive to make the experience more pleasurable for both of you.

You could also try using a little bit of lube/liquid to stop any soreness in sensitive areas.

I had this problem when I wore condoms. It was intermittent - sometimes I was ok sometimes I wasn't. I never solved it but I've had a vasectomy now so I don't need to wear condoms (I'm in a long term relationship.)

Try a bit of water based lube INSIDE the condom, changes the sensation and makes it feel more natural.

I have the same issue, wearing a condom makes it harder to cum, but with the lube inside that makes it feel a lot better.

Just waiting for my vasectomy results so hopefully they will be a thing of the past soon

Skyns condoms v good for sensitivity. Can recommend.

Thanks for all the suggestions. Been using Durex Thin Feel, but we'll try Skyn - used them sometimes in the past - and experiment with positions and putting a bit of lube inside the condom.
I'm afraid we just threw caution to the wind last night and did it without. I started my orgasm while he was still 'pumping' and there was wave after wave of it and I don't think I've held anyone so tight! If I get pregnant, which would be way too early really, at least it'll have happened in the most amazingly loving way.
But back to condoms next timw - I'll let you know if we can make them work for us. xxx

There is a brand called passante ultimate, the thinnest ones out there.

Have to put them on in a different way, as well as them looking like a bit of clingfilm, but they feel good if you can get past the noise!

@Allthegoodnamesaregoneffs

There is a brand called passante ultimate, the thinnest ones out there.

Have to put them on in a different way, as well as them looking like a bit of clingfilm, but they feel good if you can get past the noise!

Thanks a lot. Have used passante condoms in the past, but not these ones. They sound very promising!

I used condoms all the time when I was single and can't remember any of the guys I dated having this problem - some of them just came too quick!

It depends how old they were. I've got much less sensitive with age (in other ways too )

Have you tried one of the non latex versions, the different sensations might help him

@Allthegoodnamesaregoneffs

There is a brand called passante ultimate, the thinnest ones out there.

Have to put them on in a different way, as well as them looking like a bit of clingfilm, but they feel good if you can get past the noise!

Can't find pasante ultimate anywhere - do you mean Sensiva?

Sorry, it is passante unique, not ultimate

Pasante Unique Non-Latex Condoms - Pack of 12 www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B072N4ML3W/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_A4VYGD79EKFB2YWHWQS7?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Thanks a lot @Allthegoodnamesaregoneffs - will look for them today XX

Tried the pasante unique this weekend. They're different, anyway, and I could feel him more and he said he could feel my warmth around him, and best of all he actually came one of the times!
But I have a gut feeling that I may have caught that one time we did it without - similar symptoms to when I got pregnant last time. We'll know by the end of the week anyway...

The condoms they give away on the NHS are horrendous for me. They're too tight. It was only after actually putting a tape measure around my penis that I realised that whilst it certainly isn't enormous, I am about 20% thicker than average. A different choice of condom (a slightly roomier Durex one with lube) made a big difference. I still struggle to climax, but it is much easier to get on and I have more sensation.

@Annwen

Tried the pasante unique this weekend. They're different, anyway, and I could feel him more and he said he could feel my warmth around him, and best of all he actually came one of the times! But I have a gut feeling that I may have caught that one time we did it without - similar symptoms to when I got pregnant last time. We'll know by the end of the week anyway...

Come on are you or aren’t you

Finally did a test this morning - and, yes, I'm pregnant again after just DTD once without a condom! Didn't look for it to happen so soon, but we're both happy and it happened with the most beautiful lovemaking so really can't complain. And don't need to worry about condoms for a while

And thanks to everyone for their advice - will be useful when we're back to condoms after bubba's arrived

@Annwen

Finally did a test this morning - and, yes, I'm pregnant again after just DTD once without a condom! Didn't look for it to happen so soon, but we're both happy and it happened with the most beautiful lovemaking so really can't complain. And don't need to worry about condoms for a while

Congratulations to you both x

Thankyou @MyBallswereblue