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Is it desperate to message him

119 replies

KnickersInADrawer · 18/08/2021 15:51

Essentially was invited to ‘join for a drink’ for tomorrow.
A few months ago a Friend, let’s call her X, invited me out with one of her former colleagues (Mr Y) and he brought a friend along too. We all had too much to drink, Mr Y and I ended up kissing all night and he went down on me but it didn’t go any further. The next morning he asked my friend for my number and he text me to say I should have gone back to his with him and asking when I was next in his city. Flirting too such as ‘next time whisper what I’m good at’.

So a few months have passed and then he messaged me on Friday night to say he was with his friend and they were just discussing that night. He asked when I’m next in his city and I said this Thursday as I have a meeting, we discussed the meeting and he said ‘if you’re here on Thursday then join for a drink?’ I tried to be casual by responding that Thursday could be fun with a wink face. He gave a flirty response about working Hard Miss and then asked if I’m staying in his city after the exam- I responded yes and that’s where it was left.

So, do I message to ask if he’s still free tomorrow? Is that desperate? I don’t want anything other than a night of fun- I’m moving abroad next year (which I discussed with him in our texts on Friday as he has worked in the country I’m moving to) so not looking for anything serious, but equally I don’t want to seem desperate and if him not following up with a time/place is a message?

OP posts:
billy1966 · 18/08/2021 17:56

Absolutely.
You just want to hook up.
Go for it.
The best time to do this is when you are not invested and just want fun.

Enjoy!

Babyg1995 · 18/08/2021 17:57

Go for it op I'm sure you guys will have great fun .

Hadenoughofthisbullshit · 18/08/2021 18:04

I’m delighted for you op Wine

Lovelybottom · 19/08/2021 11:07

Just message saying something like what's the plan for tomorrow, looking forward to seeing you again.

HollowTalk · 19/08/2021 11:12

So he was talking about that night with his (male) friend who was in the room while that guy went down on you? And now he and his friend are going to be out and want you to join them? Doesn't anyone else think that the friend will be there for the shenanigans?

Anordinarymum · 19/08/2021 11:16

@HollowTalk

So he was talking about that night with his (male) friend who was in the room while that guy went down on you? And now he and his friend are going to be out and want you to join them? Doesn't anyone else think that the friend will be there for the shenanigans?
Yes, but only in a good way :)
category12 · 19/08/2021 13:11

I didn’t get that the guy's friend is included in the invite?

KnickersInADrawer · 19/08/2021 13:14

Update: I messaged him 10 mins ago, he’s read it and hasn’t replied! Slightly embarassing…. Hopefully he’s just playing it cool/arranging or something and I haven’t been blown off! That could be embarassing Blush

I hadn’t considered his friend being there tonight? Maybe I guess

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 19/08/2021 13:14

He was talking to his friend about that night (pretty clear what he was saying) and then "he said ‘if you’re here on Thursday then join for a drink?’

I took it to mean join the two guys for a drink.

KnickersInADrawer · 19/08/2021 13:18

Now he’s replied asking how my meeting was. Hmm we’ll see. I’ll keep you all updated!

OP posts:
category12 · 19/08/2021 13:21

Oh, I see. I just read it as he was talking about the night and it reminded him to hit up op for another go.

Still think including the mate is a bit of a jump.

Anordinarymum · 19/08/2021 13:25

@category12

Oh, I see. I just read it as he was talking about the night and it reminded him to hit up op for another go.

Still think including the mate is a bit of a jump.

LOL quite a lot of a jump !
Voicefancier · 19/08/2021 13:27

A pole vault, in fact!

KnickersInADrawer · 19/08/2021 13:27

I’m just dying that he hasn’t directly answered if we’re meeting this afternoon? Asking instead about my meeting and now he’s read my reply and hasn’t replied to it. I’ll give it a while
Longer in case he’s playing cool and we’ll see…. Fgs I just want a hook up tonight!

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 19/08/2021 13:30

Just text 'so are we meeting tonight or not?'.

category12 · 19/08/2021 13:31

"You up for it or what?"

(How many times do I have to say this? Grin)

Pinkbonbon · 19/08/2021 13:33

@category12

"You up for it or what?"

(How many times do I have to say this? Grin)

I wouldn't go with that though because then he thinks he is on a promise. OP might get there and decide he is infact, a creepy bastard. And creepy bastards do not often understand that ppl have the right to change their minds.
Earlydancing · 19/08/2021 13:33

I don't think there's anything cool between you two! Lol. He's probably just formulating a reply. Or maybe even, shudder, working!! Or maybe he's off buying cans of whipped cream.
I'm living through you at the moment - make it a good night!

girlmom21 · 19/08/2021 13:34

@Pinkbonbon he is on a promise though. That's the whole point. OP already knows him.

Earlydancing · 19/08/2021 13:35

@Pinkbonbon. What thread have you been reading. 😂😂😂 Of course he's on a promise. That's the whole point of them meeting up!

category12 · 19/08/2021 13:36

But she's meeting him in a public place and she liked him well enough last time. They're not meeting for tea and tiffin.

Earlydancing · 19/08/2021 13:36

Oops @girlmom21. Cross posted. Exactly!!!

Earlydancing · 19/08/2021 13:37

Unless tiffin is modern code for something else!

Vallmo47 · 19/08/2021 13:43

Ugh, I was going to say just message him, no desperation whatsoever but now given his reply changing the subject I’d be put right off and not message any further. The ball is now firmly in his court. Good luck.

Anordinarymum · 19/08/2021 13:44

@KnickersInADrawer

I’m just dying that he hasn’t directly answered if we’re meeting this afternoon? Asking instead about my meeting and now he’s read my reply and hasn’t replied to it. I’ll give it a while Longer in case he’s playing cool and we’ll see…. Fgs I just want a hook up tonight!
You durty mare :)

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