Men - are you ever disappointed or turned off by a woman's less than perfect body?

[Aliceclara]

Asking all men: as a woman I'm incredibly hard on myself, comparing my body to the perfect ones I see on social media/tv/magazines etc. I can never measure up, and I don't think I'm alone in this. What do you really think when we take our clothes off to reveal lumps and bumps, stretch marks, cellulite, less than perfect breasts? I'm in my fifties and I have a pretty good figure for my age but I despair when I see how women's bodies are portrayed. It's hard to feel beautiful these days.

No.

We all (women as well as men) have our fantasies and 'ideals' of course, but we also love the one we're with and as mature people, can separate unrealistic fantasy from reality.

That's not just a question of 'settling for imperfect' in any way either; it's a genuine sexual desire for the person who means much more to you than just looks, and sex is a holistic passion to share intimacy with that person.

The only proviso I would make (personally), is when a partner stops caring for their own appearance, cleanliness or making the best of themselves for both their own self repect and for their partner. But then that's primarily about attitude really, not looks.

I think we all realise that objectively no 50 year old human looks great naked.

But subjectively if you fancy someone clothed you will fancy them naked.

And dont forget 99% of the images you see are photo shopped and in reality the person looks nothing like that in real life!

And photos are very deceptive.
I used to see Kate Moss regularly and you would 100% walk straight past her in the street without a second glance.

Nope. Who can claim to have the perfect body? What is the perfect body? It's subjective.

When a woman takes her clothes off in front of me, I think “wow an actual naked woman“.
All those images are just that, images
The person I’m interested in is hopefully about to hop into bed with me, and is not judging my grey, flabby and saggy bits ( or maybe she is and puts her clothes back on and runs out of the room screaming 😱 )

That's reassuring....I think! It always amazes me how differently male and female brains think. For me it's less about what I see and more about the person, but I'm sure not all women are like that. Maybe it's the same as the way we learn...visual v verbal v physical etc etc. Or at least linked in some way.
And for the record, some 50 year old humans look pretty damn good!

And for the record, some 50 year old humans look pretty damn good! grin

I’m sure they do!! Just not to 20 year old humans 😀

Hence it all being subjective

I think women and men will always have body hang-ups no matter what they look like. I have had 3 children, I am still very slim, have no stretch marks on my stomach and have a good figure but there are still parts of my body I will always dislike. Also there is more to a woman than her dress size, as they say, real beauty comes from within. Be happy and love yourself!

I imagine there are a lot of 50 somethings with great bodies actually, I imagine much better than some much younger women..

@Ohiwish00 you're right of course, about loving myself. I'm back to OLD and it seems that men - especially single men in their fifties and up - are so shallow about what they want. It's much worse than when I was dating in my twenties. They aren't looking for a real person at all, it's like a last ditch attempt to show what they're capable of pulling. I don't have any problems getting dates etc but the men themselves are such a disappointment. I guess all the good ones are taken! But I do think - I've grown up and I know what's important, what's authentic, what matters. Why don't they? Life is short after all. Where are people with integrity, intelligence, kindness and humour? Sorry, this is turning into a completely different thread!

How many 50yr old men have 25yr old bodies, or get to sleep with women with 25yr old bodies? Unless you're sleeping with 25yr old men (or men who think like 15yr olds) you probably look just as good as the competition. And if you are sleeping with 25yr old men, they obviously think you look better than you do. ❤

Firstly, as someone who carries a stone more weight than I want, with 48 years of wrinkles and crow's feet, with odd hairy bits, receding hairline and a battle on to stay fit, men also have body image concerns.
Secondly, beauty is so much more than the skin we wear. The person behind, the chemistry, the attitude, the intelligence, the way they move, smile, make eye contact, conversation, dreams and intimate details - these are the true and lasting beauty features that interest me.
Thirdly, I'm a shallow man. If I've got any woman giving me sexual attention and/or nakedness, my body reacts and is ready. 🍆 This is before there is kissing, touching, foreplay or more....

The sexiest women I know have beauty in their eyes, their attitude and thier movements.

If you meet someone shallow enough that they can't see past a few wrinkles, sags and life marks, get them dumped and find someone who can see past....

@Aliceclara, they aren't all taken. I've just found one!

I'm exactly the same with my body, a stone heavier with my mum tum. But he's got a belly too. If I'm honest I'd prefer him slimmer but he's amazing and it's in no way a turn off. In fact it makes me feel more comfortable with my own body.

@crimsonlake

I imagine there are a lot of 50 somethings with great bodies actually, I imagine much better than some much younger women..

I'm not trying to boast but I've taken really good care of myself for decades now, I look better now than I did at 20!

So, yep, flying the flag here for 50 year olds!

Op, I honestly think people have a totally different perspective when with a partner, I obviously see men on tv etc who I think are very attractive/hot but I'm not thinking about them when I'm with dh and I'm certainly not comparing him either!

@crapbuttrue I'm genuinely delighted for you! It's good to know there are still some keepers out there

[quote Aliceclara]@Ohiwish00 you're right of course, about loving myself. I'm back to OLD and it seems that men - especially single men in their fifties and up - are so shallow about what they want. It's much worse than when I was dating in my twenties. They aren't looking for a real person at all, it's like a last ditch attempt to show what they're capable of pulling. I don't have any problems getting dates etc but the men themselves are such a disappointment. I guess all the good ones are taken! But I do think - I've grown up and I know what's important, what's authentic, what matters. Why don't they? Life is short after all. Where are people with integrity, intelligence, kindness and humour? Sorry, this is turning into a completely different thread! [/quote]
I’m 50+ and on OLD… “disappointment” does kinda make me want to think twice about it

@JustAnotherOldMan I'm sure you're one of the few and far between lovely genuine guys

I'm not trying to boast but I've taken really good care of myself for decades now, I look better now than I did at 20!
So, yep, flying the flag here for 50 year olds

Me too, I have always looked after myself, especially exercise. I'm mid 50's, I usually run, swim or cycle for at least 3 hours per week. Plus one Pilates and one Yoga class. At the moment I am training for an October marathon.

I would expect any body to show the signs of their age. Personally excessive fat is a turn off for me.

Almost 60 here, only about a stone heavier than when I was 20, still trim and reasonably fit (for nearly 60). I even have a sort of six pack, if you look really really hard...

I think I've been extraordinarily lucky with my genes, have been reasonably carful about what I eat & drink, and have trained a couple of times a week - but nothing excessive.

I'm still a conscious about my body though!

As to what a woman looks like - I'd expect any woman around my age to have wrinkles, lumps, bumps, saggy bits etc, but, if I'm fortunate enough to be at the stage where we're naked with each other - none of that matters!

If a guy can't accept you for the way you look, then he isn't worth the time of day.

@Wherearemymarbles

I think we all realise that objectively no 50 year old human looks great naked.

But subjectively if you fancy someone clothed you will fancy them naked.

And dont forget 99% of the images you see are photo shopped and in reality the person looks nothing like that in real life!

I disagree that no 50 year old looks good naked. If you look after yourself you will!!

Definitely not!

I am slim and I’m attracted to those that are slim too, I don’t expect six packs and muscles but obviously you need to be sexually attracted to them, there’s nothing wrong with having a preference. We all like different things, just like some like black coffee and others don’t!

The only 6 pack I have is in the fridge,

I think I still look okay for 51, as long as you squint, from a long ways a way…

Both sexes obviously care to some degree about physical attractiveness, but bound by realism - "pretty good figure for [your] age" will be pretty good in the eyes of any halfway sensible man who's of a similar age to OP.

@JustAnotherOldMan

The only 6 pack I have is in the fridge,

I think I still look okay for 51, as long as you squint, from a long ways a way…

😂😂😂